Or is it cynicism?

I wrote a post about this topic a long time ago and it's even a chapter in my book The 100% Factor. And I've been thinking about it again since I saw the new Michael Jackson movie This Is It on Sunday.

It wasn't the movie that got me thinking about skepticism - or cynicism - but the reaction I got from a friend of mine when I told him I'd seen the movie.

I get that we all have our own opinions, formed through experience, upbringing, conditioning, programming, and what one of my fellow master minders yesterday called "mother-father-teacher-preacher" influence.

My friend had a less-than-positive reaction to my attending the movie based on his opinion about Michael Jackson.

Even more interesting to me than his reaction, was my reaction to his reaction. I was very touched and moved by the movie, which caused me to want to utilize every ounce of talent and ability I have to serve the world. I guess I wanted him to be open to my interpretation of who I experienced Michael Jackson to be from that movie. His opinion of Michael Jackson was that he was "odd" and "weird" and "different." I asked him, "different than whom?" and he said "normal people."

So then all these questions went through my head in a split second. Really? Is that true? What is normal? Who sets the standard? Do we all have to be aware of that standard so we know what it means to be normal? Are we not OK if we're not normal? Am I judging him the same way I perceive he is judging me? If we have differing opinions about Michael Jackson, am I normal or is my friend normal? Do I even want to be normal?

Which brings me back to what I perceive as the distinction between being skeptical and being cynical. For me, skepticism is healthy when it is seen in an open-minded way of gathering information in order to make an informed decision. To me cynicism, on the other hand, has an underlying bias built in. There is no ability to create a dialogue (suspension of previous assumptions in order to learn something new) in cynical mode because the person's mind is already made up.

I suppose the fact that I even feel the need to write a post about this topic shows my bias toward open-mindedness, which seems a little oxymoronic. Underlying the entire topic is my innate desire to connect with people on a more-than-surface level, so I suppose that is my own lesson here.

What do you think? Is there a distinction in your mind between skepticism and cynicism? Or does it even matter?

I had the pleasure of attending the celebration of the life of Napoleon Hill in Anaheim October 24-25. This amazing event was hosted by Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter, co-authors of Three Feet From Gold, the next version of the classic Think and Grow Rich.

At this event I had the pleasure of meeting and hearing some really inspiring people including Mark Victor Hansen, Bob Proctor, T. Harv Eker, John Assaraf, John Gray, Les Brown, Darren Hardy (publisher of Success Magazine) and many others, including Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter.

I learned a lot, and met other great folks who were attending the event, and also got a lot of validation for the learning path I find myself on.

One thing that especially struck me, more as a question than an observation, was a question I've learned from Byron Katie's "The Work" and that question was: "Is it true?"

There were some speakers/presenters from whom I felt total authenticity and integrity; and others ... well, I just can't put my finger on it, but it feels as if they are operating out of scarcity and lack mentality. And that observation got me thinking about my own thinking.

How often have I gotten caught up in what I "should" do because it's what "they" think or say or do? I know I've exuded a faker or poser or impostor mentality at times where what I say and what I do are not in harmony. I think there is probably a time in all our lives when we really are "faking it to make it," especially when we're starting out in new levels of awareness.

I am learning that there are cycles even to levels of awareness and that "success" (whether that's in the traditional sense of finances and material wealth or in finally figuring out the combinations that make us truly wealthy from the inside out) can come to people at any level of awareness.

I wonder how often people are saying and doing what they think is the "right" thing when they're really not feeling that way at all. We "fake it," sometimes even from ourselves when we're inauthentic with our actions and our thinking processes. We seek approval from others to validate what we're DOING, but we don't believe them when they tell us what we think we want to hear because deep down we know we're faking it.

So do we ever really want to hear the truth? And whose truth are we seeking? Carl Jung said that “He who looks outside his own heart DREAMS, he who looks inside his own heart AWAKENS.”

This can't be an easy process; however, if we're seeking true authenticity there can be no other way to find it. There is no painless quick fix to the search for authenticity, but there is a painful quick fix: to look inside and come clean.

I believe that authenticity allows connection because when the walls are down, the feelings can be accessed. As we spend so much time in our heads, trying to analyze everything, we distance ourselves more and more from our feelings where the true connections can be made.

Sure we have to begin to think, because that is where can make conscious choices. But the way to alter the results we're getting in our lives is to look at the results, trace them back to the actions which produced them, trace the actions back to the feelings and then look at the thoughts that produced the feelings.

The end result is not to think about every little thing all the time, but to transcend the need to analyze - to get beyond thinking to allowing. This is what Eckhart Tolle was telling us in A New Earth. When we can transcend labeling and judging and even thinking in words, we can allow the access to what Napoleon Hill calls Infinite Intelligence - and what Tolle calls Presence. And, I guess, what I'm calling Authenticity.

Practice BEING today - even for a few moments. BEING goes beyond thinking. It's a state of allowing what is to just be. Notice what you notice and see how that feels. Try not to have an agenda (I understand this could be difficult - the intention is the first step).

Our authentic selves do not have to be scary. If authenticity is where connection happens, that could be a real draw to letting down the walls. Human BEINGS attract human BEINGS.

Who BE you today?

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates

I find myself doing most of the examining of my life while driving, and this morning was no exception as I was on my way to my Saturday Master Mind group. My examining lit upon the subject of external validation.

As I drove east on Main Avenue this morning, I wondered why even as a 40-something "adult," I still sometimes realize I'm seeking outside myself for approval or acceptance. I know better, but sometimes I notice that I've made that mean more than it should.

For me the challenge - which I accept happily - is feeling what I feel without judgment. I remember as a kid and later as a young adult learning to stuff my feelings and think my way through every challenge. Consequently I became a great thinker - but I lost some of my empathy regarding others and myself during those years.

It's interesting how selective my memory is when reflecting on those years. I'm sure there were many and varied messages coming my way, but I seem to fixate on the memories of those comments that somehow implied I was wrong, or I shouldn't do or think or say or feel something I obviously felt compelled to do or think or say or feel. Why I gave up my own opinions to others during those years is beyond me now, but I did.

Now, with heightened awareness, I definitely KNOW better, but don't always DO better. Thus the dilemma.

Why do I still find myself at times looking for validation or appreciation or approval from people who can't - or don't know how - to give it? And why do I discount the many, many places I DO receive that appreciation and validation? And, the biggest question of all: why the need for external validation at all?

I find that I'm a verbal processor, so I am a huge fan (personally) of Master Minding: getting together on a regular basis with like-minded and like-hearted folks who I trust to listen objectively when I need to verbally process and give me honest feedback - and feedforward - when I request it (and even when I don't, but need it anyway!). It's not always easy for a recovering perfectionist to hear that I may not have it all figured out all the time, but that's what growth is all about.

Of course, the goal is to get to the point where questioning and processing is no longer necessary - to the point where knowing what I know is enough. But until that time, I'll trust that my own personal growth plan will give me more wisdom so that I can be the best coach and facilitator I can be. I understand more and more that that is one of my gifts, and I just want to be able to provide that for more and more individuals and organizations - and be well compensated for it - so together we really can change the world.

As we improve our communication skills at work and at home, more and more of us will get to that place of just knowing - where we don't have to work so hard to convince people of our point of view, but are open to learning from each other.

The process of waking up is a slow one for me, but gratefully it's a continuous one!

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." -Carl Jung

I've always been curious. I don't know what made me that way, I just know that since I learned to read at age 3, I've had an insatiable appetite for information.

But what I'm finally starting to realize is that it's not the information (in form) that fills that appetite anymore - it's inspiration (in spirit).

I used to believe that there would be just one more article, one more book, one more blog that I could read to get the information that would stop the curiosity - fill the hole that I seemed to have inside of me. I wanted desperately to connect with others, but I think somewhere deep down what I really wanted was validation for my questioning nature.

Asking better questions gives us better answers. I think we all can agree that is true. "How are you?" is a question, sure, but the answers we get when we ask that question in passing are about as revealing as a bundled up kid in a North Dakota winter.

One of my "aha moments" around my questioning was when I realized that I've always searched for answers outside myself to determine who I really am. If I can find something that resonates with what I believe about myself from someone with more authority, I can get validation from that source to back me up without revealing too much about myself specifically. If someone else has thought something I think, then I can't be too strange or odd.

But Helen Keller said "What I am looking for is not 'out there,' it is in me."

So, if I know that, I mean really KNOW that, does that change the questions I ask? What does it mean to KNOW something? This blog's title implies that you do know more than you think (and maybe the way that statement itself is worded opens up possibilities in dialogue). But if I really KNOW things, then I wouldn't have to ask questions anymore. And I wouldn't feel the need to defend a position. And I wouldn't feel the need to prove a point or debate a position or need to be right. In essence, if I really KNOW things, I would have peace.

Hmmm.

So the fact that I continue to blog - and ask questions - tells the world that I haven't really found peace and I don't really KNOW anything.




Yet.

If you were asked about the characteristics you believe true leaders exemplify, what would be on that list? (Go ahead, take a few minutes and do that. I'll wait.)

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OK, do you have a list in your mind? What's on your list?

Trustworthiness? Respect? Knowledge? Passion? Integrity? Confidence? Intelligence? Compassion? Inspiration?

Now before we get on to the one skill I think is really important, I ask you: do you consider yourself a leader? Do you exemplify those characteristics on your list? Are you hoping for those traits to be given to you by those you consider to be leaders but not ready to step into that role yourself? Just something to think about.

Now, onto the one skill I think could move us lightyears forward in our communication abilities and skills in anything we endeavor: the ability to listen first, and then to "get" each other. Listening is a skill we can certain improve through practice. But even beyond the ability to listen is the ability to examine our own intentions and go beyond listening to what people are saying to what they are communicating beyond the words.

True communication involves the ability to create dialogue - suspending previous assumptions in order to learn something from everyone. When we begin to step up our own leadership characteristics before expecting them in others (and add true "getting" to our own list), then I truly believe we will change the world.

Look at your list again. Which of those characteristics you're looking for in others are you willing to take on yourself? I like how Marcia Wieder says it in "Beyond the Secret": What is your WOW - something you can do Within One Week?

I'm developing my skill of "getting" other people this week. Not getting something from others, but getting others. There's a distinction.

I had the pleasure of attending the Sunday night Landmark Education session for my two amazing friends Kelly and Steve last night. Each of the participants was encouraged to take on two new ways of seeing the world based on what they had learned during the course. I'm taking on being charismatic which, according to their definition, is giving up "in order to" and trying to get somewhere; and also being peaceful, which is giving up the notion that "there's something wrong here."

If I'm really WITH the people I'm with this week, I'll begin to GET them. And that's deeper than just hearing them or even listening to them.

What would our businesses, our schools, our governments, and our churches be like if we all just practiced GETTING each other? Reminds me of a John Lennon song somehow ....

TODAY, 9/9/09 is the day for setting powerful new goals, leaving the past where it belongs, and turning over a new leaf. What will you pack for this journey and what will you leave behind? Make up your mind to transform your mind and get ready for whole new outlook!

As adults, we have some work to do to change our minds from the way we have seen the world. Children have only to make up their minds, so now is a great day to wake up to your life.

One way to hit the reset button on your old programming is to ask new questions of yourself. One really great place to start is by asking yourself “What keeps happening to me? What do all the seeming problems in my life have in common?” It’s simply a matter of changing the way you look at things – changing your mind – to create entirely new perspectives.

Our mind thinks in pictures, not in words, yet most of us , when asked “what does your mind look like,” have never even considered it. Many will conjure up a picture of a brain, yet your brain is part of your body. Your mind is really an activity evidenced in every cell of your being. In fact, it's really the BEING behind the human.

And your mind consists of the conscious mind – the part that can think, can accept, reject or neglect any thought that comes to it; and the subconscious mind – the part that has no ability to reject a thought and must accept whatever comes to it as fact.

The stark reality is that when you were a baby – and some researchers say that this is true up until your early 20’s – the conscious, thinking mind is not even fully developed. So everything that gets programmed into that subconscious – FEELING – EMOTIONAL mind is accepted and conditioned. All the information there gets turned into your PARADIGM – your worldview – and anything that doesn’t fit there feels uncomfortable, even if that worldview doesn’t work anymore.

Your mind is perfectly programmed to give you the exact results you’re getting in your life. The universe works 100% of the time and the way to alter your results – starting TODAY – is to change your mind. SIMPLE … not always EASY.

So today, make up your mind to change your mind about your results. Be willing to undo the subconscious programming that has given you the results you’ve been getting and know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your present results are absolutely no indication of your future – whether your present results are positive or less than positive.

The really fabulous news about that is that by simply waking up, you begin to realize that you have the ultimate control over absolutely everything that comes into your WIDE OPEN mind. You have the ability to accept, to reject or to neglect any thought that occurs to you, REGARDLESS of your past conditioning.

Today, 9/9/09 is a perfect opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start all over with a Brand New Mind!

There are so many thoughts going through my head today, not the least of which is the stark difference between what this day meant to me as an employee and what it means to me today as an entrepreneur.

Although I had a great career during the time I was an employee (great pay, good benefits, interactions with various co-workers which made life interesting), I remember distinctly looking forward to vacation days and holidays so I could do what I wanted to do for myself.

As an entrepreneur, I really do have that opportunity every day. Sure, there are things I don't enjoy doing as much as others, but for the most part every day is a product of my creation and my invention. (Today, for example, on my "day off," I'm going to a coffee shop to work on my next book. Who knew I had that in me? And who knows what that will turn into - or not? Either way I'm learning and growing.)

So why is my mindset so different now than it was 6 years ago when I gave up my W-2 and the perceived security of that steady paycheck? Why can't we find a way to bring our whole selves to the workplace when we're employed by someone else? I have a feeling that's what my next book is going to be about - the pursuit of happiness (spelled correctly!) at work. Or maybe the decision to be happy in life and then show up at work or something like that.

We'll see what happens. I'm grateful to the idea that's found me, at least for now. If in everything I take on I continue to grow and learn, then no project or activity can possibly have been in vain. What will I have to show for it? An expanded mind that serves me better than ever in absolutely every endeavor.

Thank you to everyone who works to make this country grand ... and this world a better place to live. I'm dedicating my career to supporting the folks who believe in their workplaces and want to make each day an exciting growth opportunity for everyone employed there. Please let me know how I can help. At Bock's Office we are committed to creating memorable and effective learning experiences that expand peoples' thinking and allow them to live their capacity.

Watch for more information about the new book (which, I think, was just created during this blog post!). Now I'm accountable for keeping my word so, here goes.

It'll be a labor of love conceived on Labor Day!

Enjoy the day - I know I will!

OK, I'm starting to understand that there are two ways of looking at the world: through the eyes of fear or through the eyes of love. If it's not one, it's the other. Of course, without that awareness, I wouldn't know that I had a choice about how I see the world. And without the choice, I really would be at the mercy of my circumstance, whatever that might be.

So, given the opportunity to choose, I choose love. Got that.

If it is that simple, why isn't it easy? Or does my saying that make it so?

I think I speak for many out there who understand that fear still has a hold on us at some level. As we read Think and Grow Rich, we understand the ghosts of fear that have kept many people stuck: 1) Poverty; 2) Criticism; 3) Ill Health; 4) Loss of Love of Someone; 5) Old Age; 6) Death.

Now I may be wrong, but I believe that as we've evolved somewhat in our thinking and awareness, not so many of us are as affected as we once may have been by some of these fears; however, I also believe that there are others that have taken their place.

The one I'm most curious about - and I don't believe I'm the only one - is the fear of success. What's that about?

I did a talk a while back called "Getting Beyond the Fear Factor," where the participants were invited to come up with their own definition of fear, including the factors that keep them in that state. When I asked people in this particular workshop to share their fears, I got some of the typical responses: my kids' well-being, that I'll be able to retire without worry, snakes (!), failure (which always comes up) and one woman I remember said "success." That's not a new one, so we broke it down.

She was in sales and was working for a company where her quotas were set for her. She didn't want to "succeed" because she knew it would mean higher quotas and more work for her to achieve the goals someone else set for her. So I asked whether that definition of success: achieving goals and then having to do more, be more, was the way everyone defined success. One woman was very clear that her definition of success involved elements like a happy family, freedom, flexibility to do whatever she wanted, and peace.

What's scary about that?

So really, for many of us, the fear of success probably lies somewhere in our definition. I'll bet for every person who claims fear of success as one of their limiting beliefs, there is something in his/her early programming that involved some sort of external element - measuring up to a standard, having to do more as a result of a goal reached, or maybe even an overshadowing of someone else's accomplishments (a younger sibling, a classmate, a friend).

Our upbringing and our early conditioning is based on elements we can understand as children whose reasoning and logical thinking skills just aren't physically developed yet. We learn concepts like sharing through our physical senses and we just can't understand why we would want to give half our candy bar to our brother because it means we're left with only half. We learn that sharing means losing and we translate that to the sharing of information as we grow up. Keeping our ideas close to the vest means that we won't have to lose our intellectual property. We see that we can be right about seeing the world the way we've always seen it, and wonder why not everyone sees things the exact way we do.

And that's just one area. Our own worthiness as well as our learned relationship with money are two other areas that might keep us stuck. "If I make lots of money, then I'll have to worry about how to not lose it." "If I get that big house, then I'll have to clean it." "If my business is successful, then I'll have to put in more hours." We fall back into those old patterns, and more often than not being right - even if what we're right about is no longer true - becomes more important than living in a new paradigm.

This is actually a phenomenon called "Impostor syndrome," which, according to Wikipedia, is the belief by some people that regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, they remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Although much evidence points to their true success, they dismiss it as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

The really interesting thing about concepts like this Impostor Syndrome is that it's real to the people who suffer from it and those who don't can't even fathom it. Fear of success? How crazy is that? You don't want to make money? You're nuts! You actually sabotage your own victories so others won't feel bad around you (those are the phony phonies - people who don't actually identify with the Impostor Syndrome, but feel they should!).

So, is it enough to just know ABOUT this syndrome and to identify with it in some way? Or are we really ready to get beyond it? Perhaps instead of looking for the answer, which in some ways comes from outside yourself and is someone else's way of solving an uncomfortable situation, we might do better to come up with a really compelling WHY for actually getting past this limiting belief.

I know that when the WHY is big enough, the HOW somehow materializes and we discover solutions we didn't even know we knew.

I'd love to use this idea as a topic for a Master Mind dialogue - or perhaps a community dialogue in our Wednesday evening gatherings here in Fargo. Is this something you'd be interested in pursuing and learning from others? Let's start the dialogue here.

Let's get beyond the fear of success and take on bigger and bigger challenges. As Marianne Williamson reminds us, "we've got a world to save."

Now that's a success I'm willing to stand for!

In the video below, Steve Farber gives an overview of his new book Greater Than Yourself. Watch and be inspired - and join us September 30 to experience Steve Farber, live and in person!



Register for Steve's presentations in Fargo at www.bocksoffice.com. Sponsorship opportunities are also available - contact Jodee (jodee@bocksoffice.com) for more information.

I must admit, before I got the opportunity to read the preview copy of this book, I had never heard of Rick Smith. But I'm adding this book to my list of favorites, and Rick Smith is now my Facebook friend.

This book is very inspiring to me because in it Rick proves, through various stories (both his and others), that anything is possible for those who really know what they want. We've all been stuck at one point or another in our lives and careers, and Rick proves that this does not have to be a career breaker. In fact, it might be at that point of restlessness and discontent that the best ideas can come to us. The trick is to act on those ideas.

During his career as an executive recruiter, Rick hit a burnout stage. Instead of becoming disengaged, Rick decided to create a night and weekend opportunity for himself - with his boss's blessing - to interview highly successful people and find the commonalities (sound familiar, Think and Grow Rich fans?). His research found its way into a book, The 5 Patterns of Extraordinary Careers, and the book took off.

To make a long story short, Rick did such a good job at his night job, that he was relieved of his day-job duties and found himself brushing off his resume. From there, Rick tells the story of how he created World50, or w50 for short: a network of the 50 most important chief market officers, CFOs, heads of human resources, etc. from around the globe (see w50 for more information). What began as a wild idea, has turned into a very lucrative career.

In addition to his own story, Rick shares stories from others who took what may seem to be unreasonable leaps to achieve equally unreasonable success in their career aspirations. He sums up the transformations of these people in three counterintuitive principles:

1) To unlock your potential, you don't need to change who you are. Instead, match up what you do with what you love to do - your greatest strengths and passions.

2) You don't need to go it alone. Big, selfless, simple ideas attract a supportive team and multiply your successes.

3) You don't need to make dramatic and risky changes. There are ways to stack the deck in your favor gradually, with little or no risk.

The book is currently available for pre-order on Amazon, and will be released in September and would make a great master mind study.

Back in 2006 I finally took the leap and had lasik surgery to correct my vision, which had been poor since I was in 3rd grade. I remember the first speech I gave on the Monday after my surgery. I called it "I Can See Clearly Now" and I used all the metaphors I could think of that married vision and leadership. It went over quite well.

In the Master Mind groups I facilitate, I hear time and time again about the things participants don't like - government, education, bosses. But that doesn't last long in those settings, because we are dedicated to standing for what we DO want, as opposed to complaining about what we DON'T want.

So I've been thinking again about the vision metaphor and am now in the process of taking it to the next level by creating a leadership immersion experience for leaders who are ready, once and for all, to transform their results and focus on what they DO want.

The class is called "Transforming Your Leadership I-Sight" and here is a synopsis:

Our conditioned reactions produce most of the results we get in our lives. Since we spend most of our waking hours at work, it stands to reason that the way we are at work translates to the way we are at home. If you have a bad day at work, you may find yourself taking that frustration out on your family when you get home. What's going on here?

There's more than meets the EYE, but most of the time we don't want to meet the I.

We just can't see that when we HAVE problems, we ARE the problem.

When we are blind to the problem (we turn a blind eye/I), all the solutions we can think of to address that problem will actually make the matter worse. We look outside ourselves for "the answer," not realizing that the only answer is in us.

As leaders, we are most effective when we make matters BETTER, not worse. If we are not awake to the I, we will actually undermine our own objectives.

The results we create, produce and allow in our lives are in the I of the beholder.

This immersion experience will enliven the desire for teamwork, enhance individual accountability, magnify the capacity for achieving results, and deepen satisfaction and happiness.

There is no painless quick fix to the problem, but there is a painful quick fix: Meet the I.

Painful does not mean bad. Coming out of your comfort zone is going to be uncomfortable, but it means you're growing.

I know the benefits of taking the leap into the unknown of higher awareness - I've experienced and witnessed them. But I'm not sure about the marketing of this experiential learning. Any ideas to invite leaders to meet the I?

If not now, when? If not you, who?

Ever since I read Peter Block's The Answer to How is Yes, I have altered the way I ask questions.

In fact, this book resonated with me so much that it was one of the reasons I named my company "Bock's Office Transformational Consulting."

It was Block who first taught me that "transformation comes more from pursuing profound questions than seeking practical answers." In fact, that very statement really rocked my world because it helped me see that all my life I have been in desperate pursuit of the "right" answer instead of what really resonated with me.

What I am learning from facilitating now close to 25 master mind groups is that I am not the only one who has been asking less than productive questions.

The main issues I can pinpoint in organizational behavior, thanks to many of these master minders, are 1) Knowing exactly what we want (WE being employees, but in many cases, leaders as well); 2) Identifying for ourselves the why around the what (creating a vision); 3) Determining the best method for conveying our what to parties who need to know and 4) Asking for help and support in achieving those "what's."

Why do we have so much trouble identifying our wants? I talked to a reporter when my book The 100% Factor first came out. He wanted to know why my book would be relevant for business people. I told him it would be helpful for people who realize that there may be areas in their lives that could be improved, but they're not really sure where to start. He just couldn't fathom that anyone would buy that book. His point was if they were looking for some help from a book, they would already know what they want.

Is that true? I'm hearing more and more from people who really are at a crossroads in their lives - career, family, whatever. Maybe that reporter's view was from businesspeople who really didn't want to admit to themselves that they didn't have it all figured out. Maybe that's the niche for my book - and for this blog, and for what I discover happens in master mind groups. People can let down their hair - be authentic - share their dreams, their hopes, their fears.

I believe it's time for us to get REAL - with ourselves first, and then with others. And I believe it's crucial to not try that on your own.

There are lots of opportunities to join or form a master mind group. We've got some virtual groups starting now to study Think and Grow Rich. Groups are limited to 10, and all that's required is a phone and the book (which comes with your registration). Contact me (respond to this post) if you're interested.

Will there be new questions? Sure. But with new questions come new answers.

If not now, when? If not you, who? TAKE THE LEAP. The time is now.

That's a pretty cynical title, I know, but it was inspired by a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with a former corporate attorney who has escaped what she describes as the tyranny of her corporate life.

Although she didn't know it at the time, her being let go by her organization was actually a blessing in disguise.

I'm making a lot of assertions in this post, but what I gathered from our conversation was right along the lines of a John Grisham novel. Of course it's tough to be "downsized" and to lose the paycheck and benefits of full-time employment. But what my friend didn't realize until she no longer had that regular job was how much that paycheck was actually costing her in quality of personal life.

As we talked more about her experience in Corporate America, it became clearer to me that, at least in her experience, the powers that be really didn't want her heart or soul; they just wanted her expertise and her loyalty. In exchange, they gave her childcare, health insurance and a fairly hefty salary. The key, from what I learned in our conversation, was the word EXCHANGE.

Is that what's happening for most employed people in Corporate America today? Are bosses consciously asking for what my friend reported: brawn but no brain?

Perhaps I'm an eternal optimist, but I find this a little disheartening. I really believed that this would be an exception: that most people would be encouraged to develop their whole selves and bring all of themselves to work, where we could create more fulfillment for employees, less turnover, more productivity, and overall, happier people.

Is that just a dream? Or do you know of companies or organizations that do allow their employees to develop higher awareness and bring all of themselves to work?

My blogging buddy Alex Kjerulf lives in Denmark, which 20/20 reports is the happiest country on earth. Alex would agree. His company is called Happy at Work where he is the Chief Happiness Officer. His blog is called Positive Sharing and he makes his living telling people around the world how (and why) they could be happy at work.

Thanks to Alex's work and blog and what it demonstrates, I'm holding out hope that Corporate America isn't an either/or place to work and we will be able to learn about and share even more examples of what happens when people are happy at work. The leaders today who we're hoping for are those who demonstrate the effects of doing business with head and heart attached.

How about soul AND health insurance?

I was on the road A LOT the past 4 days and I had several occasions to stop along the way to rejuvenate. On one of these stops in a town I can't even remember, I got an ice cream cone at McDonald's. The grand total was $1.06. I gave the young lady at the register $5.11 (I have a thing about carrying around too many coins in my handy-dandy little clutch). My mistake was waiting to find the 11 cents until after she had already punched "$5" into the register.

She was stopped.

What odd combination of coins was I handing her when the total was clearly $1.06? And what was she going to do now that she had already punched in the $5 amount? I helped her out of the predicament by whispering the correct change and dropping the extra nickel into the box they have for Ronald McDonald charities and went on my way.

But I got to thinking, why should she have been able to figure out the change? When are people - of any age, really - encouraged to "make change"?

We've become a society of people committed to "The Man" even though in our break rooms and with our best friends we complain about it. When given the opportunity to actually DO something, how many of us even know what that means? If the cash register doesn't ring up $4.05," what are we supposed to think?

I just finished (again) Seth Godin's book Tribes (which I have conveniently located on my Kindle I - there are costs and benefits to being an early adopter!) and am inspired all over again to become a tribe leader, even if no one is there to follow.

Among my activities over these past 4 days was working with a group of community leaders from small towns around the 5-state area of North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Minnesota and Wisconsin who are committed to making a difference for their rural areas. They have stepped up to the plate to become tribe leaders and are finding that that's not always an easy place to be.

Rural communities don't generally embrace change, so the task of many of these leaders isn't necessarily an easy one.

But when groups come together to learn and to practice new thinking skills, they find that they don't have to forge the trail on their own. Learning and sharing from others in similar situations can provide the needed momentum for making change ... and making change stick.

So thanks, rural leaders, and also Seth Godin. I'm inspired to make change in my own community. I'm starting this Wednesday, July 15, by holding space for people to gather with no other agenda than to create community (whatever that means to people who are inspired to come). We will meet at Atomic Coffee in downtown Fargo at 7 p.m. and create something inspiring ... or not. Whoever comes is the right people and whatever happens will be the only thing that could have.

I'm confident that the change will be made exactly as it needs to be.

OK, once and for all, I want to know what it is that stops us from being extraordinary. And I guess for me that question is most interesting as it relates to workplaces, since that is where most of us spend the great majority of our minutes, hours, years and, really, our lives.

So I've decided to do some research of my own which could find its way to a blog post, an article, a book, a movie - the sky's the limit. I just know that this is an area of extreme passion for me ... bringing JOY to the workplace. Yes, JOY.

So my research involves this one question:

What is the ONE THING you would like to be different at the place you work?

I would love as much detail as you're willing to provide. If it feels too threatening to answer in a response to this post, please email me at jodee@bocksoffice.com. If you want to be anonymous, you can be - I'm just interested in the information. Of course, if you'd like me to have this conversation about your specific workplace, I'm happy to do that, too!

Please forward this question to anyone you think might be interested in being part of this movement to bring JOY to the workplace, wherever that workplace is.

I'll keep this question open until August 1 ... let's see how many responses we can create in the world by then.

OK, I don't remember asking to be the grammar cop. Just like I don't remember asking to be a perfectionist. But I just can't seem to help either thing. (And I guess they are related, so it would make sense.)

What am I supposed to do when I find typos on people's websites, or in their ads for jobs or in other public places ("Our company is celebrating it's 50th anniversary" or "Illegally parked cars will be fine")? Or how about when I hear people say, on a regular basis, how "me and her went to the store" or "I seen you yesterday at the restaurant"?

I just can't help seeing or hearing those things when they pop up (and they seem to be popping up more often). What's a grammar cop to do? It's like having perfect pitch and hearing music out of tune.

In fact, I was pleased that Karen, my friend and fellow typo sighter, found it in her heart to give me this article about a service trip two guys took to rid the world of misplaced and missing apostrophes and other typographical errors and misspellings. In their 3-month trip, these guys found (and pointed out) more than 400 violations in everything from church signs to event posters.

The thing I'm inspired by with these guys is that they actually took action on something that they could have just complained about (which is what I realize I'm doing with this blog post, ironically). According to Jeff Deck, the guy in the photo (left), their mission is to raise typo awareness—after each stop Deck has blogged about the goofs found and the typos corrected.

"I've always noticed typos," he said, "and one day I just decided to take action. I thought it would be great to go national and see if there were patterns." He said he detects a general erosion of good grammar, from coast to coast, region to region. "If we can inspire enough people to carry Sharpies and help out, then we will be satisfied and happy."

Men after my own heart. Maybe we could start a local chapter of TEAL (Typo Eradication Advancement League), Deck's self-founded organization.

But I fear I may be the only member.

If you travel by car like I do, you've probably seen this billboard or others like it along the highway. I'm always really attracted to these messages, but can never really see where they are from - the small print is too difficult to read when I'm speeding along the highway!

So tonight I paid attention to a commercial that came on TV from the Foundation for a Better Life and did a little research. Here's from the "About Us" section of the website:

The mission of The Foundation for a Better Life, through various media efforts, is to encourage adherence to a set of quality values through personal accountability and by raising the level of expectations of performance of all individuals. Through these efforts, the Foundation wants to remind individuals they are accountable and empowered with the ability to take responsibility for their lives and to promote a set of values that sees them through their failures and capitalizes on their successes. An individual who takes responsibility for his or her actions will take care of his or her family, job, community, and country.

How totally cool is that? It's so great to see what people can accomplish when they just act on a great idea!

What does this inspire you to do? Pass it on!!

Really - is your genius ... your higher self, your guiding light, your heart of hearts ... at work in your life? Or, once you discover it, can you really put it to work at work?

These were some questions we explored here in Fargo on Tuesday and Wednesday at the third annual Bigger Small Talk Summit and Genius Workshop with the irrepressible Dick Richards and his lovely wife Melanie.

I learned a lot about myself over the past week ... things I probably SHOULD have known but either forgot or just didn't put together. Things like the distinction (if there is one) between religious fervor and evangelism and fervor for higher awareness and business effectiveness, and the distinction (if there is one) between motivating someone and inspiring him/her, and trusting intuition to guide me to my genius.

Dick reminded everyone that the concept of genius is a journey of self-discovery, and not an inventing of new entity. We learned about different cultures and spiritual traditions and their definitions of "genius" and how "genius" differs from "purpose."

The genius workshop provided a chance for people from all careers and those building new careers to examine their current worklives and get some ideas for bringing their natural power and energy to their work, whatever their work may be. Dick calls that natural power and energy genius.

The energy in the room when people are allowed an entire day to explore, uncover, contemplate, share, and be with others with similar intentions is probably something few of us actually get a chance to experience on a regular basis.

Dick's wonderful style and guidance allowed people space to work on their own genius discovery process, but also pushed us to go just a little deeper beyond what our past conditioning would want us to come up with and uncover what is already there waiting to be discovered.

Tuesday was also a wonderful day as people gathered in Open Space to create dialogues with others about topics that matter to them. We supported each other in achieving plans of action that have been tapping at the door of our consciousness for a long time, but which just haven't ever made it to the world. It was a safe space to explore new ideas and call up old ones and declare them to a group and get some accountability to begin acting on those dreams and plans. The last session of the day was a singout, led by the fabulous Barbara McAfee. We learned African tribal songs and sang together and it was magical.

Plans are underway for the Fourth Annual Bigger Small Talk Summit in Fargo in mid-June 2010. If you're searching for something but you're not sure what it is, either in your work life or in any other aspect of your life, you just may find it in Fargo next summer.

See you here!

OK, so if we already know this stuff, why is it that we don't always create consistent results?

This was a question that came up in my Master Mind group today. We were talking about those moments when everything is clicking and we're on a high and all is well with the world. We talked about noticing how we're feeling in those moments and then tracing back to the thought that immediately preceded the feeling. It is possible, we all know, to recreate that experience (or produce one equally as rewarding) yet we still seem to find ourselves in the space of inconsistency.

So it's true that knowing doesn't necessarily equate to doing, which doesn't always produce desired results.

However, as we talked more about this phenomenon, we realized that perhaps the results we are in the process of producing are really at play at a higher level simply because we are aware of the process. In essence, instead of letting our lives run us, we are aware of the fact that we can have a say in the results.

We reminisced about times in our lives when we were on autopilot, or what I heard Seth Godin say today on Dr. Oz's XM radio show, "sheepwalking." According to Seth, this is when we do things that others tell us because others tell us to without thinking, coupled with being somewhat braindead, especially at work. (Read more about sheepwalking on Seth's blog post here.)

Before we knew any better, we would muddle through our lives, frustrated and, more often than not, carrying a heavy dose of victim mentality, mindlessly giving up all control of our own outcomes to some unknown and unnamed "them" all the time perpetuating the same results. The best we could come up with for a payoff in those cases was that we could at least be right about our belief that "we" were right and "they" were wrong which, at least in my case, I was able to prove by bringing it up to anyone who would listen and agree.

At least now when we notice the results being less than what we want, we know there is another way. It's almost as if there are two of us: the one who is having the experience and the one who is watching the one having the experience. The one who's watching has a much broader view and can much more easily point out alternative ways of thinking and being.

Today's "aha" came in the realization that it's actually being in the feeling space - FEELING the feelings and not pushing them away, no matter how "bad" they may be - that allows the feeling to dissipate. What we resist persists and, although we "know" that in our conscious minds, it's not until it penetrates the old familiar "gotta be right," or what I notice for myself as the "yeah, but" space that it has a chance to turn into a new action. New actions produce new results.

Sometimes I feel like a really slow study ... but it's not because I don't know better. Knowing and doing are definitely not the same thing, and knowing and pointing out to others the doing doesn't produce results for me either.

So I'm still in the space of teaching what I most need to learn. But the good news is that the lessons are much more evident and more quickly absorbed these days.

Where would you like new results in your life? Consider getting in some sort of Master Mind group where you can have a chance to practice new ideas in the safety of a group of likeminded individuals gathering for a definite purpose of support and challenge.

"A year from now you may wish you had started today." -Karen Lamb

(And to prove I'm trying something new, I found that quote using Bing instead of my beloved Google. Don't tell Blogger!)

OK, I was a fan of Keith Ferrazzi's when I read his first book, Never Eat Alone. But in his latest work, Who's Got Your Back, I've met a new soulmate! As the facilitator of several master mind groups studying various works to help us all go deeper, I see the power of the master mind at work every single day. I'm quite clear on the WHY behind relationship building. With Keith's new book, I now have a great set of HOW tools to take my groups to the next level of relationship building success.

Keith's premise is that when you discover the power of relationships and then intentionally build your own dream team, or what he calls "lifeline relationships," you can achieve absolutely anything for yourself and your life.

By demonstrating his four Mind-sets (Generosity, Vulnerability, Candor and Accountability) through his own stories, I learned so much about my own stories. In 2003 I discovered myself to be constitutionally unemployable and became an accidental entrepreneur, struggling at times to have any clue about what I was doing. Seeking focus while still learning and growing, I often found myself running in circles. Keith had similar struggles with his own learning which is why this book has so much meat and meaning for me.

Entrepreneurs and business owners and parents and anyone who wants to achieve anything beyond where they currently find themselves will find value in this book. I think intuitively we know we don't want to be in this life alone; but our conditioning somewhere along the line has taught us that it's not OK to reach out.

Keith gives us permission to be human and helps us resolve our conditioning against candor and honesty with our relationships. He even points out how sparring is a skill that can be developed and is hugely mutually beneficial to dream teams committed to each others' success. Through several case studies and stories, we see firsthand how others have integrated these ideas and the successes they are experiencing in their own personal and professional lives.

I'm going to be using this book at the foundation for a future master mind study here in Fargo and will have more to share when we get to that point, so watch this blog for updates throughout the summer.

Thank you, Keith, for the opportunity to get a sneak peek of this book scheduled to hit bookstores next week. Order this book TODAY!