There's no video in Above DNA yet. Video's a much more complicated and expensive project.
At approximately 1:50am, I responded to a medical call in Above DNA. When I arrived, I discovered an Asian male laying on the ground near the stage. Upon investigation, I discovered that there was no medical issue with the subject and that he had previously assaulted the DJ, two customers and attempted to knock over the DJ booth. The customer did not respond to any verbal instructions, but was responsive to painful stimuli.
I informed the customer that he could not lay on the floor in the venue and that he need to stand up and step outside. The customer refused and closed his eyes. He stated that he was "perfectly within his rights to lay on the floor." I informed him that we would assist him physically if neccesary. Security staff and I lifted the customer and began carrying him to the above door. The cusotmer began thrashing and kicking, striking me in the groin with his foot. After placing him on the ground, we handcuffed the customer and escorted him out of the venue. The customer then stated that he was going to kill me.
Contacted SFPD at 2:00am. SFPD arrived at approximately 2:10 am. The responding officers then left the scene due to a higher priority call. [...the guy sat on the sidewalk in cuffs for 3 more hours...]
At 4:45am SFFD unit M89 arrived. After releasing the subject to the SFFD Officers, they determined that he was not in any medical danger and allowed him to walk home. SFFD left the scene at 5:00 am.
And, in international relations:
At about 11:30 pm I was standing outside the front door when I witnessed an individual try and sneak in behind the door person. I stepped between him and the inside an asked if I could help him. He said he was trying to get his coat. I told him I would gladly get his jacket for him if he could give me his coat check ticket. At this time he started cursing and reciting strings of numbers. I replied in kind, telling him the local zip codes. We seemed to reach an impasse so I again asked him for his coat check ticket. He responded that he had the strongest fences in Sweden. He then proceeded to hug random strangers on the sidewalk and pull their hair. At this time I moved him away from the front door and next to the bike racks. I again tried to get his coat check ticket to no avail.
I stepped away to help some other customers when he started to try and urinate on the bike rack. I told him that he would be going to jail if he did not put away his private parts and move along. He started to re-dress himself and I turned again to help some other customers when I felt urine splashing on my leg.
At this time I took the patron by the shoulder and walked him around the corner. I told him he had two choices: go away, or go to jail. I then left him around the corner. I returned to the front of the venue to tell staff about him when he stumbled back towards the club and fell on two customers in line. At this time Arlo pulled him out of line and I told him, "last chance, go away or your going to jail". He verbally chose jail and called us faggots. I called the police non-emergency number at 11:42pm. Unit 103 responded at 11:49pm. At this time they took Jonas from Sweden into custody. They took him to the station to see more of America.
Last week, David got bit on the ankle -- the ankle -- so hard that it drew blood.
The things we put up with for you people. You don't even know.
Some recent photo galleries:
Here's a fun interview with the director of Point Break Live:
So the original cast members have been supportive of the show?
Busey showed up the first time really early and came in all scary, especially to the guy playing his character Pappas, like 'Don't mess up my show! If you suck I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your throat!' And then he sat in the front row and five minutes into it he was grabbing water guns, and getting up on stage chasing people around. And three weeks ago, Lori Petty, who played Tyler in the movie, came in and auditioned for Johnny Utah and won. That was really epic to have one of the stars in the show.
What's the strangest Point Break Live! related encounter you've had since you've been doing this?
I met Keanu once when we were doing the shows. He's never come, but one night after we finished doing a show, there was a sister bar nearby that called us and were like 'you gotta get over here, Keanu Reeves is here.' It was right around Halloween so I was like, whatever. But I went over there with some flyers and brought a poster and sure enough it was Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter, Bill and Ted, sitting at the bar together. And I mentioned the show to Keanu and said you should come and audition and he was like, 'But what if I didn't win, you know, that would suck!" At the show itself we've had all kinds of crazy stories. We've had people visiting from Japan who don't know English audition and of course the audience picks them. So people who can't even read English have gone on and tried to guess what the words are and people still went nuts for it.
Both November Point Break Live shows sold out, both December shows are sold out already, and the two January shows are going fast! Get your tickets soon, people! You really do want to see this. Words don't do it justice.
(We do sell a few standing-room walk-up tickets at the door, so if you still want to come to the December shows, you can probably manage that if you get here early.)
If you have any photos from Halloween, please send them! I can't believe how few photos we have. There were so many amazing costumes, and they're largely undocumented here. Help us out, people.
The first two shows are this Friday, and the early show is almost sold out! Have you got your tickets yet?
Tomorrow's Halloween! Do you have your tickets for that yet? Our staff have been working themselves to the... bone getting ready for you, muaaahahahaha. Thirteen spooooooky DJs in four rooms!
Also, check out our new bike rack! This now completes the Parklet Project. It was installed yesterday, and within an hour of the bolts going into the ground, there were eight bikes in it.
Also, Point Break Live is coming up in just a few weeks. These shows are very likely to sell out, so get your tickets soon! (It's a seated show, and chairs take up more space than bodies, so we can't fit as many of you in.)
One of the hilarious bits about Point Break Live is that at every show, the Keanu part is cast from the audience -- and a little while ago, at Point Break Live in LA, the Johnny Utah role was won by Lori Petty! That's kind of amazing.
And, some photos of recent events:
We also got a couple of these, and a couple of these. Check out how long those bolts are!
Only stools and bike rack left to do.
For now, we're borrowing some stools from Above DNA, but permanently-mounted stools are coming soon. Also still on the agenda is a piece of hinged diamond-plate to cover the gap between the parklet and the sidewalk. After that, we're waiting for the city to install the bicycle rack.
The bar top is several pieces of wood glued together. The first pass of glueing happened in the shop, but to transport it, it still needed to be in 3 large pieces. This is a shot of them being glued together.
Also, look, the fins are getting a nice patina on them already! That's just from the rain on Saturday.
Party photos:Atlas Obscura event was our first in a four part series of talks about the history of various liquors, including tastings! That one was on absinthe; the next one is on whisk(e)y and you should definitely attend. Did I mention tastings!
Oh, we got a nice review of the Moving Units show.
I strongly recommend you come by for the Icky Blossoms show on Sunday, Sep 23 because they are awesome. That's the evening after Folsom Street Fair. They're also performing at the fair, but that's probably only a half hour set -- this is a full show.
Relevant categories this year include:
5. Best Late-Night Restaurant
10. Best Pizza
11. Best Sandwiches (Seriously, try the Boba Feta)
39. Best Overall Bar
52. Best Bar Staff
5. Best Performance Space
18. Best Overall Party Venue
19. Best Overall Dance Party (Bootie, obviously!)
20. Best Rock Club
26. Best After-Hours Club
34. Best Drag Show (Trannyshack, obviously!)
36. Best Burlesque Act or Show (Hubba Hubba, obviously!)
41. Best Literary Night (Mortified or Atlas Obscura, obviously!)
He says he heard that everyone got out safely except possibly a couple of dogs. I haven't seen any additional info in the press yet.
This is the warehouse that was originally slated to be another set of high-rise condominiums, until we were able to convince the supes to require it to be commercial and office space instead.
It was also the building with the best "no parking" sign in the city:
The guys who cut the steel were supposed to etch numbers into each of the fins as they cut them, but they didn't. Since every one is different and the placement is important, that means Jason and I had to spend a couple of hours laying them out on the floor and comparing them to the paper key. "Does this look like 37? Or more like 13?" They took up almost the entire dance floor.
With the bagging of the speakers, the dazzle room is now complete! This battle station is now fully operational. So many of you scoffed, so many of you doubted my brilliant plan. Hah. HAH!
Also note the cool uplighting in the rafters. We've been going nuts with these thin, flexible RGB-addressable LED strips for accent lighting like this. They're super cheap, low power, and if they last a week, they'll last ten years. Their color isn't fantastic, but for architectural lighting it's great.
We also upgraded the cage around the counterweight for the sliding door. The old one was this shiny ugly thing made out of plumbing hangers. We found these giant U-bolts for holding axles on trucks to use instead. They match the aesthetic much better.
And in that last photo are the sound curtains that we sometimes hang up in the alcove leading to Above DNA. We do that when we have a loud show in one room and a quieter show in the other, as we did yesterday (there was a band upstairs while Mortified was going on in the main room.) They do a good job of killing the sound bleed, but they're ridiculously heavy and inconvenient to put up and take town. I wish we had a better solution to that, but it's hard to soundproof doors when they have panic hardware on them.
It's looking a little Guantánamo, isn't it?
Steel soon, I am repeatedly informed. We still haven't figured out what furniture to put in it. Suggestions still welcome.
Me: "How do we prevent people from tagging our wet concrete?"
Our contractor: "Easy. I'm going to sit here with a beer and a baseball bat until it's dry."
Not only is it a live adaptation of a movie that I love unashamedly and without irony -- shut up -- but each at each show, the Keanu Reeves role is cast from the audience, chosen by applause during their audition. There are waves, there's blood, there's skydiving.
We're also adding a Point Break Meatball Sandwich to the DNA Pizza menu. "Utah! Get me two."
Though not technically an 80s movie, having come out in 1991, I will also mention that tonight is New Wave City's 21st Anniversary. So, you know, it's finally old enough to drink.
It's a really cool design, too! You'll see.
Parklets are weird in that, while we have to pay for it, it's not really ours. They exist in that gray area of sidewalks: you don't really own your sidewalk, though you're responsible for it, so the bargain you make with the City in order to take back some parking spaces and turn them into something nice is that you have to foot the construction bill, even though the thing you build is technically a public park.
Anyway, we've got a pretty cool list of Kickstarter incentives that we've come up with, but if you have any good ideas, please suggest them now! We'll probably be launching it in a week or two, depending on how quickly Steen gets finished shooting our video.
One of the obvious-but-good ones is a Golden Ticket: free admission for you and a friend to every show for a year.
Meanwhile I've been putting in extremely long hours down at the Vertex Mines, obsessing over the 3D models of this thing. "Working on my dollhouse", I usually call it.
Recent photo galleries:
Well, we are a Disorderly House Injurious to the Public Welfare and Morals, after all. Please contact the Service Desk. Thank you, drive through.
To help them out with this important initiative, we have a little video we play every night. Devon put this together some time between 2006 and 2008, and finally we've uploaded it to Youtube -- so now it can be last call for you whenever the need arises.
I think you'll like the soundtrack.
And finally, great news for perverts: we're welcoming the world famous Hubba Hubba Revue back to to DNA Lounge, their ancestral home! Hubba will now be every second Friday, right after Mortified. This time around, we're doing it as a mostly-seated event. We're going to put some tables right up front by the stage, and stools along the balcony, in addition to the table-service booths, thus the four price points.
Some photos of recent events:
This Friday we are hosting Gram Rabbit -- highly recommended!
Also, Mixtape 129 is up: your roughly-monthly fix of new music videos.
Have you noticed that the parking meters in front of the club have vanished? That's because, after 18 months of bureaucratic runaround, we have finally been approved for our parklet! At least until the next roadblock materializes. But we got as far as: someone came out and "inspected"; someone else came out and sprayed some X's on the sidewalk; and a third person came out and sawed off the indicated parking meters.
I'm not going to predict when the thing will actually be installed, though. You know the drill.
Back when I first talked about this I said, "Bureaucracy has been minimal so far", and it had been -- at the time. But it seems like for every parklet that was installed in SF, five new rules and two inspections were added. Somehow we managed to be just behind that tide the whole way. The earlier parklets in town went in with very little fuss, but these days it has ramped up to the usual "We will have to confiscate your ice cream cones" levels.
Butter, across the street, got theirs installed already, and they started later than we did! We're just lucky that way I guess.
Ours will have seating, a standing-height railing, and some integrated bicycle racks. Eventually.
"I was called outside to deal with a customer who was accosting female customers as they exited. I arrived and was told that we had escorted the customer out earlier for grabbing women. I started to talk to gentleman when he told me that he had done nothing, and he didn't understand why he was walked out. I informed him of the several female complaints, to which he responded, "I paid $20 dollars, I can touch the girls." I said no, and I had a girl inside willing to press charges, so he should leave the area and just go home. He then said, "No, you HAVE to arrest me, you HAVE to." At this point I gave him one more chance to leave, he said no, and gave me his hands to cuff him, so I did. [...] SFPD took him into custody with a Drunk and Disorderly charge."
So how about that.
Some photos from recent events:
That Daft Punk thing, wow. I just don't understand. It was a Daft Punk tribute band, and it sold out. You might be wondering, how does that even work? Daft Punk are basically DJs who wear funny motorcycle helmets. So a tribute band is... different guys in similar helmets pressing play on the same CD? Yeah, pretty much. They are really nice helmets, though. Probably very expensive! And they brought a lot of lights and built this absolutely gigantic pyramid-thing. So, you know, nice light show and set-dressing. It still kind of baffles me, though. Did I mention that it sold out? Because it sold out and I don't understand.
They'll probably be back here in a few months, so maybe I'll get a chance to scratch my head at it again.
Now I'm going to complain about blurbs.
One of the difficult things about updating our calendar is getting decently-written blurbs for the events. Sometimes it can be like pulling teeth to even get a complete lineup of the event, but it's even harder to get a couple of coherent sentences describing the event, that aren't just taking the lineup from the left column and re-stating the same information in sentence form.
You'd think that any band trying to actually have a career, as indicated by the fact that they're actually touring, would take the time to write a pithy explanation of what they're all about, using words that might means something to someone who isn't already familiar with them. You'd be wrong.
Here are some egregious recent examples I've been sent, mildly censored to protect the guilty. These are all terrible they don't communicate anything that would make someone attend the show if they weren't already planning to.
The "Come to this party, it will party more than any party has partied" blurb:
Join us on DATE at DNA Lounge for PARTY, featuring all the new rising Bay Area talent! This month come check out up and coming dubstep sensation SOMEONE! Also joining us will be SOMEONE ELSE and many other local artists that are ready to lay down some heavy bass lines and fat beats.
The "I will assert greatness without saying anything" blurb:
Three Bay Area GENRE bands, A, B and C, come together under one roof at DNA Lounge for an incredible showcase on Thursday, SOME DATE. Expanding the beautiful realm between SOME GENRES, these hand-picked bands push the boundaries of buzz bands right through to the bigger picture: great indie music, created by lovers of great indie music.
The "appeal to authority" blurb:
BAND is the name of CITY's AGE-year-old producer, REAL NAME. NAME works out of his bedroom creating his unique brand of music. His music has been featured on LONG LIST OF WEB SITES YOU DON'T READ and many more. His breakout album has gained worldwide praise and attention from superstars like THREE FAMOUS PEOPLE and many more. Don't miss this rare showcase of raw talent!
This one's evocative, I guess, in that I can actually smell the dirty scalp and ball-sweat and skunk-weed just from reading it:
DUDE has been in the right place at the right time. The avid skater met esteemed workaholic producers WHO? and WHO? a 2007 PARTY in CITY and later became immersed in CITY'S weekly hot spot CLUB, witnessing the SOME DJs tear it up on the regular. An INJURY forced DUDE to take a year off from skating, which allowed him to focus on his music. He eventually ended up rooming with WHO? and WHO?, absorbing the rampaging, wonkily funky sounds he heard in his living space and then peace-ing them out into more blissful configurations.
The "exhaustive timeline and list of members" blurb:
BAND was founded by DUDE and OTHER DUDE in 2004 as an outlet for experimenting with electronic music. With the addition of THIRD DUDE in 2005, BAND released their first album WHATEVER on the WHO CARES label in 2006. After several weeks of topping SOME INDUSTRY CHART YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF and a handful of shows in the U.S. and Mexico, BAND went on a long hiatus while DUDE starting putting together material that would advance and not copy other electronic music. In 2010 ANOTHER DUDE joined BAND and the genre-bending album WHATEVER was written and conceived. Upon the release of THAT AGAIN in 2011 BAND divided audiences and critics.
[and it goes on like this for three more paragraphs.]
So I wrote these guidelines that I send back to people who send me shitty blurbs. It doesn't really help. I scream into the void a lot. But if you're in a band, maybe reading this will help you write a bio that doesn't suck:
The target audience of these blurbs is a customer who is not familiar with the artist, and who is trying to decide whether they would enjoy this show.
So please do include things like:
- What genre of music do they play?
- How would one describe their music? Quotes from reviews in the press are great here. Failing that, influences or other performers that they sound like.
- Names of previous projects, if any.
- If there's something special about their stage show or instrumentation, mention that. (Customers want to have some sense of, "Am I going to see a full band, or some guy standing behind his laptop?")
Things that are OK to include, but that we feel are not like to cause someone to attend the show, are:
- Where are they from,
- What other bands have they played with recently;
- Did someone say something nice about their latest album.
If you have answered at least questions 1-3 in paragraph form, you will have written a decent blurb.
Things that you should not include in a blurb are:
- That they are performing at DNA Lounge;
- The date that they are performing at DNA Lounge;
- Also performing are "X, Y and Z" or "On tour with X, Y and Z".
- "Don't miss this great show", "be there or be square", "please please please attend", etc., etc.
We've already established that they're playing here, on what date, with whom, and it should go without saying that we'd like people to show up. Don't just repeat all of that in sentence-form.
Also please omit:
- They have been remixed by XYZ;
- They have "caught the attention of" XYZ;
- They were played on radio station XYZ, or have a video on MTV;
- Last year they toured with XYZ;
- They won an award (unless it's a Grammy or something).
Tell people why they will like them, not a list of other people who like them.