Haven't even unpacked my last luggage and I'm off again!!!

This time Mike and I are going to Disneyland in HONG KONG!!

My first time going there (DL in HK), so I'm quite excited!

The last time I went to disneyland in LA I had a crazily smashing time. Only regret I had was not buying more souvenirs! This time imma go crazy.

So yup.

Don't think I'd be updating here for the next 3 days, except for maybe twitter or POTM if I manage to find free wifi.

Everytime I go to HK I feel so happy that I'm a Cantonese and a relatively fluent one! *blabbers in Cantonese* there. I just proved it.

V sian that the weather is quite cold though. Mike is ultra pleased about it. -_-

Ok see ya guys in 3 days!

Xoxo

Nothing better to do...


Not sure if you guys have seen this, but I came across this unfortunate picture of an unfortunate girl who looks unfortunately like Butthead from the ugliest cartoon ever, Beavis and Butthead!





Her innocent drinking photo has been splashed across a lot of humour websites, with Butthead beside her for comparison!!

(And I got the pic from Collegehumor.com, it's not done by me ah!)

She is really suay lor... The nose so long and no chin... Then never mind, go and draw eyebrows until so hideous!!!


So I decided to photoshop her!!!!



LOL I'm so bored!!!!!

Pictures from eons ago!!

Had dinner with Mike at Chili's (Tanglin Mall) finally! He was sooooooo excited about eating USA food!!

To our pleasant surprise, the service there was fantastic even though it was full! (I supposed that's also mirroring the states coz service there is always awesome as people have to work for tips!)

The food was fab, ribs were tender, and the drinks are huge + unlimited refills, just like the real Chili's! Nice.


Here's our queso with unlimited corn chips. I think the one I had in texas had meat bits in it, which was nicer, but still taste pretty authentic USA!


Mike's fajitas or whatever they are spelt. I don't really like Mexican food.


Abrupt end on this thread.


Rozz invited 10 of her friends for a nice dinner at her friend's new restaurant...

Erm it's Indian fusion food. Krish at 9 Rochester Park!


Joan and Gillian... Yes that girl on the right shot me and Kaykay's video, and is the owner of clicknetwork.tv!!

People are always expressing surprise that it's a girl who shoots such "smut". LOL!!!!

(Digressing, new videos are out, please go watch!!!!!!!)


Ryan said true Indian food must eat with hands, so they were making him eat the lava cake with no cutlery!



Went to St Regis on Dr Georgia Lee's invitation to a special premiere of Victor Victoria!!

The dress code was "Androgynous"!!!!!!


Can't really see, but famous jazz singer Laura Fygi is on stage serenading us! She even sang "The Moon Represents My Heart" can?? In pretty accurate Mandarin!


Here I am in my androgynous clothes!! Ok lah that's as androgynous as I managed to go.

The top is from F21 and the back is only a ribbon! I just saw Kristen Bell wear it on Heroes season 2! Very pleased with my own taste LOL




OMG! I did so much shit before going for the Awards!! Afterall it's the first time anyone threw a gala dinner for bloggers mah!! Ahem.



Fizzy is great!!! We were discussing the dress and right that night he already draped the design on a mannequin to show me!! :D :D :D

This is the kinda enthusiasm that designers need!

You can see his masterpiece on me in a bit.


Emailed Dr Georgia Lee that I want to go for lip fillers and she very kindly sponsored me!!

She's the best there is so if you wish to do aesthetic stuff such as acne treatment or fillers or whatever, here's her website!

On top of lip fillers I'm also going to undergo Ulthera, an ultrasonic treatment to reduce fats, wrinkles, and tighten skin!!


Here's Dr Lee putting a clear gel on my double chin fats and doing ulthera for me!!

It feels kinda like IPL and I won't lie, it IS painful!!




When I went home, I could literally SEE a difference in my jawline. Used to be flabby and it was tight omfg!!!!!!

I posted the picture on POTM, so if you missed it, scroll back a bit.


I think Ulthera costs $3k plus... If you are interested do call them up!!

TOTALLY WORTH IT I TELL YOU!!

I guess those people following me on twitter already heard me raving like a mad woman about ulthera so I'd stop here.


Can you believe she has 2 kids?? -_- Look so young wtf...

She was so pro lor the whole procedure was done in 5 minutes flat. -_-


I had a lot more fillers this time than the last time (I requested for it) so I was walking around looking duckish for 2 days...

Here's day 1:


We were chatting on Twitter about going to the NN awards together (she was nominated for best celeb blog), and it was so coincidental that she was scheduled to do her nails with Deniz after me!


Here's us with dolled up nails... Actresses quite cham, in order to look consistent in episodes they can't have crazy nails or cut/dye their hair in the middle of filming!


Was fun but I was exhausted so I went back home pretty early. Really man, I can't even club nowadays!! I'm OLD!



Here's one pic of me doing my hair at Mosche (67355443) before the awards... I wanted it big! I'm wearing sunglasses not to act cool but coz the fringe was poking into my eyes, ok?



Here's Mr Gadget himself with me. He won for Best Geek blog!

Mike really looks like a bodyguard can? -_-


I must say I am so in love with Joanne lor... I'm not like gao poring her or anything but she actually took the initiative to help me use my camera to snap pics!!

So helpful!!!

COZ MIKE IS DAMN BLUR AND WON'T DO IT ONE LOR!!!

After getting the trophies the winners are to go outside on the carpet to snap pictures, and she followed me out, with my camera, to help me snap a pic!!! Mad love!!

I am sorry I didn't help you do the same thing babe!!! T_T (Her award was before mine ok I am not so terrible, I just wasn't zi dong enough)



Here's another Joanne Peh photography pic. I think I was telling a joke or something, which nobody laughed it.




Fuck everyone who said I don't deserve to win coz I didn't even design my own blogskin.

I'm sorry, but how the FUCK do you know how much design was done by me? Is it not my vision, my time too?

Like this only actors who write their own scripts can get acting awards?? Or race car drivers who don't build their own cars cannot win races also lah??

What bullshit is this?

THE AWARD WAS NOT FOR ME, WENDY CHENG.

It was won for HTTP://XIAXUE.BLOGSPOT.COM, my BLOG, not my person. Does that make crystal clear sense?? I didn't win as a designer. My BLOG won as a design.


If you knew beforehand....

1) People who didn't design their own blogskin can also qualify, and;

2) It was 50% based on votes.

And you thought you didn't have a chance against my so called minions, then WHY JOIN??

It seems silly to me to whine and bitch afterwards. *rolls eyes*




Next day... CNA interview and 93.8 Live interview with the bloggers from around the region!





Left to right: Cheesie, Boss Ming, Lady Melbourne, and Super Kawaii Mama!


So fun meeting all of them!! I love the Aussie bloggers man, they are all so vain! And I'm going to go to Disneyland with Cheesie in a week! Can't wait omg!!


ANYWAY... Really pleased about the award's results. Would not have done it without you guys!! *tears* Thanks so much for all the votes...


And not to worry, I'm definitely gonna fulfil my promises for those blog entries!! However, the love story's time is not right yet. Definitely within this month though. ;)


I must say, it was a lucky day for me the day I decided to join Nuffnang... :)


3 trophies, 3 reasons for me to continue to put in effort blogging!!!


And reason no. 4 got cashed out some time ago:






Another cheque. What should I buy??

I'm gonna have to pay taxes...


p/s: Feeling LOVEEEE for all blogders!! Muah muah muah!! :D

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After getting a nose job, the thing I hated the most about my face had to be my chin and neck.

I know you guys are probably thinking I am being ludicrous, but most of the pictures you see on this blog are majorly photoshopped anyway! You have no idea how much I have to push my jaw in with liquify (photoshop tool)!!!!!!!

And not to mention my stupid fatass neck. What a stupid area to get fats in!

Anyway, double chins and neck fats are notoriously hard to get rid of. I remembered asking Dr Martin Huang how he would suggest I get a bloody slender neck, and he gave me loads of options but all of them sounded rather complicated (and expensive)!

He also suggested perhaps a chin implant, but...

Yufit's face shaper bra and Age-Lock Cold face shaper bra cost $35 each and are available at all SASA cosmetic stores and John Little departmental stores.

Elishacoy's products are available at all John Little departmental stores. Have fun shopping!

Got the link of this from Super Kawaii Mama (Candice), an awesome Aussie blogger!!

Click to watch the interview of Bossming, Candice and I on CNA live!





The female host's nose is muthafucking small. I can't stop looking at it when I was there and wondering how she ever digs her nose!!


p/s: I feel like interviewers always ask me the same questions and I'm always repeating myself. I sound so boring.

p/p/s: Can anyone explain to me why embedding a youtube vid on blogspot sites always results in the box moving to funny places? And perhaps, kindly, how to solve this problem??

Going off on a short trip this weekend to Dayang island for diving!!

I'd be back on sunday but meanwhile, photo of the moment and Twitter won't be updated as I don't want to use data roaming! (Can become crazy expensive!!)

Ok just thought I'd let you guys know. Byeeee!

Xoxo

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Everyone knows I'm a HUGE fan of instant mee.

Besides the fact that I mostly take my dinners at about 3am when food choices are sparse, instant mee can also be really delicious!!

So here are the pictures for the Photoshop Contest!!!!!!

For those of you slow fuckers who have JUST started reading my blog and have no idea what I'm talking about, some time ago I did a popular blog entry where I photoshopped my ugliest old photos!!

CLICK HERE to read it.

So anyway, I chose the ugliest pic...




And asked my readers to send me their photoshopped creations too, just to see if they can make such an ugly photo look pretty!!!




So... I thought like 5 or 6 people would submit their creations, but by the next day I was swamped with over a 100 entries!!!!!!!

After MUCH procrastination (sorry lah, at least I did post this in the end), here are the submissions!!!


There are too many photos to credit everyone, and anyway, most of you sent me, frankly speaking, hideous work anyway, so don't credit you all also better lah!! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!


Sorry lah but some of the work is really very scary lor!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!! For those who sent in the edited pictures, please don't get upset if I say it's bad k!! It's not personal!! I STILL LOVE YA ALL!!!


I know all of you have good intentions when sending me your artwork, but one thing REALLY pisses me off.


Some of you sent me photos where you edited MY 'AFTER' PHOTO.

May I ask what the fuck is your point? This gets me really fucking angry because what I edited is already nice, so why would you go mess around with it??? It's like spitting on my work! I DO NOT like people messing with MY art, ok?

Alright enough complaining...



Ok let's start:


(Pictures edited by two individuals are put side by side so that the entry won't be too long. "L" is my comments for the Left pic, "R" is the comments for the Right pic.)






HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

Done by Shermin Ong!!! Muthafucking funny or what??????????


I laughed for like 5 whole minutes when I saw this. Definitely creative!


Ok lah that's it hope you all don't get nightmares from the pictures...

NSFW


Today I was just thinking to myself... Why the hell is it that all these male, "amatuer" photographers all like to photograph these "models" in lingerie or bikini??

If they are so interested in photography, then why don't they shoot other things such as... family portraits, close-up shots of a fly's eyes, a droplet of water dropping into a pool of water etc etc other artsy fartsy nonsense?

WHY GIRLS??

And the most puzzling of all... Why do they like to shoot FLAWED girls??

Ok I know. Firstly, they would of course want to shoot flawless girls if possible, but flawless girls are unlikely to want to be shot by amatuer lechers, plus they are of limited stock.

Secondly, I know even people like Megan Fox have their flaws, but I don't mean like a clubbed thumb...

I mean like... They are trying so hard to ooze sexuality and then it's like they are hideous.

I know I sound fucking elitist or something, but it just seems to me that it's totally silly to allow a girl's armpit fats to ruin an otherwise good piece of photography!

I mean, if you changed the subject from a race queen with terrible black roots to, say, a butterfly or an elderly woman pushing a cart, it just won't be RUINED that way, you get what I mean??

Anyway that's not what I'm gripping about. I'd get back to this later.

I am actually really annoyed with the increment of these "photographers" around, who are actually just wankers wanting to snap a sexy shot for his evening stroke.

Honestly man, if you are a fucking pervert, just fucking admit it instead of parading around with your E05 or whatever and pretending to care about the fucking proper lighting!

Let's see... If we let them choose between shooting a fat tou geh plucking auntie with the most fabulous lighting and equipment... or shooting a nude race queen with a compact camera, which do you think they will pick?

Please leh! The nude of course! You know why? Coz they are fucking wankers!


The whole "models" photography culture is just sick.


If you go to Clubsnap's forum, you will see pages like this.


Girls, whored out by these organisers... Enticing these "photographers" with either lingerie, bikini or sexy fashion shoots... Guess which is the most expensive?


For $100 you can snap snap snap away at a model of your choice while you try to entice her to give even more smothering looks and jut out her ass more.

Then you can go home and wank to the close-up boobage shots, while imagining having a kinky photographer-model relationship with her.


After that, even better still, you can add the "artistic" shots to your portfolio and earn respect as a PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!





I don't know what these men are thinking when they snap all these slutty photos, but here's what I think when I see some of them.


So anyway... My point is... Do those photos show off great photography skills? Not one bit. They just show how fucking perverse the photographer is.

If you have real talent, why would you try to distract from it with all these sexual vibes?? I don't think anyone is looking at the composition or whatever is important in photography coz everyone's trying to find nipple slips!!


I must, of course, credit the photographer whom I got all these photos from.


Dunno his name but at least he is not a hypocrite - he did go semi-naked himself complete with come-hither eyes.



Check out his photographer 'friends'....





They are buzzing around these car shows like flies on corpses... Gross.


p/s: I have nothing against girls taking such photos. As you all would possibly point out, Kaykay also does such shots. What she does is her business and if it earns her money without hurting anyone, why not?

Hell even I took bikini shots for Maxim before.

My disdain is for the lecherous photographers, not the models. Although, it is still fun to laugh at the ugly models when they do stupid poses.

What? They dare to take then dare to be criticised lah! Nothing wrong what! You all also criticise my Maxim shots - and I totally deserve it. They are horrid to the max.

And of course, these photographers' natural defence will be that I am JEALOUS coz nobody wants to shoot ME.

Yes, yes, I wrote this post coz I am fat and jealous. Because every girl would love a pack of perverse, scary middle-aged uncles photographing them.


p/p/s: Why can't all these men control their penises?!

Sorry about the lack of blog entries.... Been really busy lately! And tonight is the Nuffnang Asia pacific blog Awards!!

Right now I'm in Mosche (hyatt 5th floor, 67355443) doing my hair for tonight - and blogging on my blackberry!! Muahahaha

Someone asked me what I'm doing on the 24th and I said.... Masturbating with my trophies!!! Ahahahahah!!!

Ok that's a JOKE. Firstly, don't even know if I'll get ONE trophy moreover trophieS.

Secondly, I don't do obscene things like said previous action! I'm all zen and beyond that!! Hehe

But anyway thanks for voting, those who did! Those who didn't, or voted others... Fuck u! What's wrong with u??

Quite excited indeed! Remember to follow my twitter or keep coming back here tonight as I'd be live blogging with the berry!!

Tata!!

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Everyone knows I'm a big fan of Twitter...

However, Twitter does have its limitations, and everyone knows what it is: It's only limited to words, links, and these all have to be within 140 characters - the same length as an sms!

As Twitter grew in popularity, people have been trying to work around its flaws, like using URL shorteners or other sites to post photos on Twitter... Singaporean users can't even use SMS for Twitter because it's a USA number!

So, to fill up this void for the more avid Twitter users, here comes MOBJET.com!!

The guys see who can get more slaps from strangers on Orchard Road, and the winner gets to create a design for a REAL TATTOO anywhere on the loser's body!

Fuck man that sucks but it really happened! Watch!!

Since many of you have requested that I blog about our most recent Miss Singapore World, I thought I'd go one step further and ask her if she'd like to guest blog her opinion on this whole crazy saga!


So here's what she replied:

It is like an overnight stardom. From nothing to something.

Firstly I would like to tell everyone that I had no intentions of getting my credit card fraud leaked out (but thanks to you-know-who), it became a secret that everybody knew.

I got free publicity so thank you to people who hate me. I don’t care!

Before that was my bad English. How many people can speak good and perfect queen’s English if you are a first timer in front of a camera? Not many people can speak well in front of public crowds much less in front of a microphone. Go ahead – laugh. See how much you’ll be enjoying when I pop out of nowhere and start to shove a microphone down your throat. Oh, I forgot, by then you can’t speak as you’ll be too busy handling the black tube.

Claire, thanks but no thanks to your pretentious attitude towards me. You know you aren’t popular and hence, used me to create awareness for yourself. You are a good friend (oh someone please shoot me). Please, if you were to diss me, make sure people don’t let me know about it. I know it is hard for someone like you to keep a secret but at least make it less obvious.

I’ve seen enough of you, talked enough of you and I TOTALLY CAN’T BE BOTHERED.

REPORTERS, STOP WRITING NONSENSE. I do regret my past and stop twisting words around! It is irritating!

So that about sums it all up.

I thought she'd write more to scold reporters but it's mostly focused on Claire!! (who is the first runner-up).


Anyway, dunno if you guys have heard about ST Online naming Ris' photo SG-STUPID.JPG or something...

How fucking horrible is that? Here's my general rule for calling someone a moron:




I mean, you don't tell a mentally retarded person they are stupid, do you? So what's with all these comments about Ris' IQ or whatever?

Bad English does not equal to stupid!



When I first saw her video, I conceded that her spoken English is a little funny. But it sure didn't make me laugh out loud and honestly, the BOOMZ jokes that ensued for about a thousand years afterwards were totally stale.

Cmon, is it really that funny?


You know what I think was EVEN more funny?


The Razor TV host asking dumbass questions like:



No, fucktard, my strategy is to fuck the judges.




How is anyone supposed to answer a stupid question like that? Define fucking South African influences!

Good on Ris for even bothering to answer these questions man.


Almost all the comments I've read regarding this issue goes something like this: "Oh I can't believe someone like that is representing Singapore!"


MY ASS...

Honestly, who gives a shit about Miss Sg World?!

Did you know who the past year's winner is?? Do you know ANYYYYYY past year winners?

And oh, suddenly this year you are sooooooo concerned that the Miss Sg World will embarrass Singapore? Pui!




Oooh!!!!!!!!! Ris and Claire should just fight it out in a Jello fight!!!

I think Ris would win. She seems like she's full of hidden unorthodox talents. I'm also rooting for her to win!!

She may not be the cleverest, the kindest, or the most polite, but you can't deny she's fucking interesting!!

As for the Claire girl? Doing charity work? Cmon, gimme a break. You can't get more boring than that if you were knitting socks for orphans.

So.

Everyone else nominated for the Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards have already done their blog entries, and I was getting a bit panicky.

So panicky, that in fact, I even asked my fat hammie, Nanolove, for help. (On an irrelevant side note, Nanolove is proof that being Vegetarian does not make you skinny or healthy)

This is the exchange that happened between us:




I wondered how she's going to help me...








A piece of art made solely from Pringles chips!! Coral from Grilled Scrimp, Green from Seaweed, and Cream from Salt and Pepper + Sour Cream and Onions!!


More photos of the process:



I even made the text bling bling!!! How can you reject the hard work of a hammie?! Are you human?! Voteeeee!!





It's very easy! All you have to do is to select me for Best Original Blog Design and Most Influential Blog!

It is necessary to also vote for the other categories, but I don't care about those so you can vote for whoever you like!!

No registration is necessary - just a few clicks! There aren't even pop-up ad spams!!! Fab isn't it? :D

And remember you can vote once every 2 hours so please be obsessive!!


Okok... Childish hammie stories aside, here's WHY you should vote for me.


I am not going to go into one of those stupid touching posts about how much it would mean for me (and it would mean a lot, if you are the sort who likes touching posts)...


You should vote for me because I will BRIBE YOU!!!


For the next one week, whether you vote or not to reward my hard work, I am going to blog the following posts:

1) Finally post up Photoshop entries sent by blog readers. Over 100 photos and FUCKING HILARIOUS.

2) Blog entry titled: How to be an Internet Bitch and Win Blog Wars. Secrets of writing an awesome blog entry against your enemy!

3) And with that post, an example of a good hate post against me!

These are to reward my awesome readers who have already voted for me, or are going to!!

Now to make the lazier part of you click on the voting poll too, provided I win BOTH categories, I am going to blog about:




Up till now, only close friends know how I got to know Mike and what made him come to Singapore - and what happened after that!

The time is ripe now. :) And this will happen after October 23rd, 2009, when the awards ceremony will be held.



As if these are not reason enough, here's why I DESERVE your vote:




I've seen (nice) people comment that they are voting for me for Influential, but not for Blog Design.

Their reasoning is that the underdogs should be given a chance to shine, or that since I'm already in another category, it is enough to win just one.

Why?? Did I not work hard on my blogskin too?

I had a designer work on the coding, that's true, but my designer Lionel and I both bounced loads of ideas off each other, and while he handled the back end, I did a lot of the graphics and conceptualizing with him too!

If I win, the award will be shared with him and fuck man, he is an underdog who is goddamn hardworking too!

And pardon me for being arrogant, but my Photo of the Moment idea is just FABULOUS (Don't pretend you don't love it), and it is totally an ORIGINAL idea that I came up with! It is not inspired or copy from ANYWHERE.

And as for the awesome little speech bubble with the twitter feed on the top banner? The one thing that so many other bloggers are COPYING?




Lionel skinned Bossming's blog back in March.

Yeah, so maybe Bossming should win the Best Original Blog Design - except that he is the boss and cannot possibly be nominated. MUAHAHA!

But in any case, I've credited Lionel from the start, ok!

I'm not saying anything, but please, vote for ORIGINALITY!

I'm feeling a bit pissed now coz I feel that for these artsy categories, if I win, everyone will say it is a popularity contest.

But whatever lah! I really think my blogskin is the CHIOEST!! And I KNOW that I put in muthafucking a lot of effort (and hours of photoshopping) into it! And so did poor Lionel!!



I was asked what I think my most influential blog post is.

I think it's THIS one. The article on Molesters using aerosol foam sprays on victims.

Besides getting 3702 signatures on the petition to ban aerosol foam sprays, after I blogged about the issue (after experiencing it first hand), forums starting discussing it, and both Newspapers and the evening news covered it:






I'm gonna be all high-browed now and say that, ahem, besides getting people to buy blackberries or making them desire to have a Princess Room, a good blog also highlights important social issues and transcends into other medium!

That was total bullshit.

But I am as influential as a blogger can be and someone should give me a trophy for it, GODDAMN IT!


SO YEAH! VOTE VOTE VOTE!!


p/s:

The Awards will be held in Pan Pacific Hotel and sounds totally glamourous!! I can't wait to see all the other bloggers coming from other countries.

You should have seen bloggers from all over the world writing UBER creative posts just to win a chance to come to Singapore!! :D I'm totally proud of my country.


p/p/s:

WJust realised I got a collection of photos!! No theme, just pics.


Here's a shaggy-looking Pumpkin getting her head stuck in an Ikea plastic bag while watching me pack clothes in the new house!


Looking ridiculously cute as she struggles to get out. I'm not helping her, she has to learn to be independent!



Dinner with Lewis and Eekean at Newton before we go watch H is for Hantu. Shengrong was late!

And check out Lewis's mad-huge SLR!


Wongsie loves freaking parsley ok! The evidence on her plate as she chows Lewis's orh lua's parsley!! Gross to the max.


Here's Nanolove, the fattest, laziest hammie puff ever! This is her default position. Lying on her back and snoozing!

I took this shot because she was actually EATING in her sleep. That's right! She regurgitated a seed from her cheek pouch, and was chewing on it!

All while being plopped on her back and eyes closed!

Greediest hammie EVER.


Check it out! Fucking hilarious! My friend's mom found these saucy pics in their maid's drawer and fired her.

Apparently she keeps going missing during the night and THIS is what she has been up to - some pole-dancing competition or something!!

Complete with total sleazebag taking a video of her somemore.

Hmmm... The video must be SOMEWHERE!


I shall search youtube for "Gremlin-looking woman dancing sluttily in leopard prints." **


Alas. No such result.


(I will NOT succumb to making low-brow Ris Low jokes!)


Supper with Rozz at 126. We planned for pigging out dim sum, then on to DURIANS! I was so happy that day.


How can anyone not love this? Creamy, sweet, melts in your mouth... I don't see how the smell is pungent either!!

The closest thing to durians I can think of is Creme Brulee - which everyone loves!!

Anyway I have a new pact with Mike. He can never again cook parsley at home, and I can never again bring durians home.

Very sad right? But worth it for no parsley smells at home again, ever!


Another pic at the pool - found this cute little dinosaur toy!!

I gave it to a cute little girl at the pool but I'm a bit sad coz I really like the dino!! :(


Only took one picture: Here's eekean glaring at something Lewis said while he nonchalantly continues eating.



Had dinner with Eekean again and the restaurant was closing, so they gave us two bowls of peanut cream dessert...

Eekean pointed to the bowl of spring onions I took out from the fish dish, and told us to dare her to put the peanut paste into the bowl and eat it!


So I said, "Ok lor, I'd give you 1 dollar if you eat that."


And she said "On!"



The topic for that day was Plastic Surgery and they invited Dr. Martin Huang and Rozz and me!!

It was like a Girls Out Loud reunion!!

Hosts were Flying Dutchman (anyone knows his real name at all??!) and Phin.

It was pretty fun. Dr Huang is so funny!

They gave him a picture of the Flying Dutchman and asked him to circle where he should get plastic surgery.

You'd think that most people would be polite and circle one or two areas, but the whole picture was full of red circles!

Damn funny lah!

The hosts totally took it in stride though.

Anyway I was informed that BlogTV has gone on for 4 seasons and this is the first time I've agreed to do an interview with them despite being asked several times before.

I didn't even realise lor!

The last time they asked was quite some time ago, and the reason why I rejected them was coz I was STILL pissed with fucking Lin Xue Ling!!

Hahahaha!

I don't forgive and forget easily. Took me 3 years!

Lin Xue Ling, huh? Where are you now, bitch?


(Ok fine her LinkedIn profile says she is still working for Mediacorp as a presenter/producer. Still!)



I'm preparing my Nomination speech post so be patient! Will take photos tonight, probably published by tomorrow.

(Yes I said tonight and it's 3.15am. Terrible.)

My friend found a HTC cellphone on the road while cycling yesterday.

He had plans to sell the phone. "At first I wanted to return the phone," he said.

I asked why not.

He said coz he saw that the phone contains sneakily taken videos of girls' legs, obviously trying to catch them zhao geng!

Some lao tiko somewhere is reaping his just desserts.

Just thought it's an inspiring story.

What should I blog about to bribe you all to vote for me??

It has been recently announced that Paula Abdul has been kicked out of the panel of American Idol judges.


I think the reason was that she didn't get as much pay as the rest of the judges so she felt it's really unfair... Or something. Please don't quote me, if I wanted to be reliable I'd be a real journalist instead.

Anyway, she probably thought they would give in and pay her more, but instead they kicked her ass off the show and brought in...



I was completely shocked. I mean, I don't care much about AI and I haven't even watched a full episode of it before (IKR? And I'm writing a post about it!! HAHAHA!) but being a generally kpo (Singlish, means busybody) person I'm still like WTF??

I thought the criteria for being a judge was to have at least SOME musical background!!

As far as I know and I even wikipedia-ed this, the only musical talent Ellen has is to dance a lot during her talkshow.

She is famous for 1) being openly gay and 2) funny. Not for singing.

Don't get me wrong. I like Ellen. But this musical background criteria thing has been used to select many other countries' own Idol judges!!

Anyway, since being musically inclined is no longer required, this opens up a whole new world of possibilities for potential judges!


Why limit it to an entertainer?


I therefore in all earnestness submit my suggestions to the people producing American Idol.


They are as follows, and you will find that they will work better for your show than Ellen Degeneres.

Don't worry that you have already signed a contract with Ellen. If her name is true, she'd forgive u. (Ellen the Generous, geddit?? MUAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear whatever happened to my sense of humour?)




No seriously. How can anyone not find that face funny??

I just want to hear Jacky Wu speak English. It's fucking hilarious. Ok fine, he cannot speak English. But it would be entertaining for the rest of us who can understand Chinese anyway!

Besides, Jacky Wu is way more credible than Ellen. Afterall, he discovered Jay Chou and has a few records of his own!

His own singing is terrible but still.



Check it out! I crudely pasted Jacky's big head on Paula's. FUNNY NOT???


Besides, the panel needs an ASIAN!! WHY, ARE YOU ALL RACIST???????

(Just kidding about the racist part. I hate it when people use that word to get an easy way out and I am against affirmative action in general.)



Honestly, why limit the judges to humans?

Music is beautiful and should be universal to all living creatures.

Therefore, when the rhino loves the music, it would bask in pleasure.

If it doesn't, it will be angry and will be allowed to charge out at the contestants, where we will be entertained watching the contestant try to escape from the rhino.

Soon, the Rhino will be everyone's favorite judge.

Other advantages of using a Rhino will be that it will steal a little of the Animal Planet audience pie. Also, general good vibes for American Idol as it involves Animal rights, fights Animal Cruelty, values animal opinion, etc.


Walter is the puppet that is created by popular ventriloquist (OMG spelt that right, first try!) Jeff Dunham.

He is fucking grumpy!!!


Check out how grumpy he looks! I'd love to see him judge American Idol.



Watch this if you haven't! Funny!!



Everyone who's watched Ugly Betty can imagine how entertaining Willie will be judging American Idol.

Besides, Vanessa Williams herself is more than qualified since she sang Colours of the Wind, among other songs... I admit I don't know the rest of them.




Why limit the judges to someone or something real?

This is called THINKING OUT OF THE BOX people!! With current technology, how hard is it to animate Homer into the panel??

I know, you are thinking, "What about live shows?"

I bet it still can be done if they pay Matt Groening enough.

Here are examples of Homer's probable reactions. (Pics stolen from some homage to Homer site. Captions added by me.) (Homage to Homer MUAHAHAHA)





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YAY TO ME!!

I've been nominated for Most Influential Blog and Best Original Blog design in the super PRESTIGIOUS Nuffnang Regional Blog Awards 2009!!

Very happy to just be nominated coz the nominations are open to Asia Pacific and the contenders are so strong!!



Can vote every 2 hours so be fucking obsessive please!!! I'd blog more about it later. :D :D :D

Love ya all!!

....... is why I haven't been blogging very much.

Stupid Farmville, stupid facebook games!!!

p/s: My farm is chio though!