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25   New window
Date: Sunday, 07 Oct 2007 00:47
I’m turning 25 next week and it is the first birthday I’m not looking forward to. Not because of the ‘getting old’ factor, but because I always assumed I would have done a lot more with my life by now. I thought I would be engaged or married. I thought I would definitely have travelled by now. I thought I would have done something meaningful with my life; helped someone in some way, done my VSA. Something.

So, what have I done? I’ve gone straight from school to uni to working for two years. 25 always seemed to be the year you became a proper adult for me, yet I have little to show for it.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Wednesday, 26 Sep 2007 23:24

A black, E white, I red, U green, O blue: vowels,
I shall tell, one day, of your mysterious origins:
A, black velvety jacket of brilliant flies
which buzz around cruel smells,
Gulfs of shadow; E, whiteness of vapours and of tents,
lances of proud glaciers, white kings, shivers of cow-parsley;
I, purples, spat blood, smile of beautiful lips
in anger or in the raptures of penitence;
U, waves, divine shudderings of viridian seas,
the peace of pastures dotted with animals, the peace of the furrows
which alchemy prints on broad studious foreheads;
O, sublime Trumpet full of strange piercing sounds,
silences crossed by [Worlds and by Angels]:
–O the Omega! the violet ray of [His] Eyes!

I only realised a couple of years ago that I have synesthesia. I was at Teachers College and was on my first teaching practice. I was doing a poetry unit and decided to use the French poet Arthur Rimbaud as a model. Rimbaud has a poem (above) that describes what colour, sound and texture each vowel has. In class I drew a big ‘A’ on the board and asked the students to tell me what colour they thought of when they saw or thought of the letter A. I was met by blank stares and there was much confusion as most of the class could not get past the fact that I had written the letter in black marker. Confused and dispirited I googled the idea of letters having colours, and voila, I learnt about synesthesia. Here is its definition according to Wiki:

a neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. In one common form of synesthesia, known as grapheme → color synesthesia, letters or numbers are perceived as inherently colored

This is what I have – grapheme. How I see each letter (as close as I could get) is shown above.

But words take on their own colour depending on what I conceive as the dominant letter(s). For most words the dominant letter will be the first one. But some words have more than one dominant letter, thus the colour changes part way through the word. For example, LAZY looks like this: LAZY

This also explains why I really didn’t like my name as a child, because ‘L’ is an insipid yellow that is one of my least favourite colours.

Upon further reading I have also found that I have a type of spacial synesthesia where I have a calendar for the months in my head that reaches out in front of me. It works clockwise with December the furthest away, July the closest. It also records how many days are in each month, which explains why, as a child, I couldn’t understand why people had to rely upon little rhymes or counting on their knuckles to figure out how many days in May.

So that’s my explanation for a small portion of my odd ways.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Cramming   New window
Date: Tuesday, 28 Aug 2007 11:06
Aggghhhhhh stressed!

Did you know that when you were at school and were stressing about upcoming exams, your teachers were right there pulling their hair out with you? I have so much to get through with my kids in so little time, even with after school revision classes. And then there is the marking of 150 essays in two weeks after the exam.

I don't want to go to school!
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Thursday, 23 Aug 2007 17:42

I got my cast off today. I was so excited; the freedom of being unencumbered, having hands free of supports. However, this promise of a normal life was crudely snatched away from me by the introduction of THE MOONBOOT.

Now, The Moonboot is a sexy black number; a contraption of Velcro and buckles with an open toe, the perfect accessory for any outfit.

I think I preferred the cast. It was a lot sleeker and at least you could tell that I had a broken foot. Now I just look like I have a gammy leg.

Stupid Moonboot.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Pachelbel   New window
Date: Tuesday, 31 Jul 2007 16:23
This is great, check it out.


Oh, I'm great, thanks for asking.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Sunday, 29 Jul 2007 15:19

I’m going to King Lear, and I’m rather excited about it.

The Royal Shakespeare Company is coming to town, and although that may not be a big deal to you Londonites, they rarely venture down here.

As no one appears to be quite as big a nerd as me, I’m going by myself, a new experience. I’ve never even been to the movies alone. I will also still be in cast with crutches, so I will be a particularly sad sight.

All for the love of art.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Foot   New window
Date: Thursday, 26 Jul 2007 22:28

Here is my disabled foot in all its glory. This is just after the stitches were taken out today and you can see the wee wires poking through my skin. Delicious.

But I now have a new and improved cast which I can actually kind of walk on. This is very exciting for me. So back to school on Monday, where all the children can laugh at me.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Photos   New window
Date: Tuesday, 24 Jul 2007 15:00

I thought I would post a couple of photos of my dearest friends who ahve both buggered off to the UK (well Luke will arrive there any day)

These were taken whilst Michelle was back in the country for an all too fleeting visit.

Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Tuesday, 24 Jul 2007 02:06
I can't sleep. It's nigh on one in the morning and I am wide awake. This results from a number of contributing factors.

Firstly, why would I be tired when I have done very little in my day? I have never been a good sleeper, in fact in my honours year I was bordering on insomnia and had to take sleeping pills to get any rest. This year however I have been a lot better as I'm pretty tired after work and I get up reasonably early in the morning. However, in my present condition I have no work to go too, thus am not exhausted at all.

Secondly, I am currently staying at my mum's. This is fine; however my Step-Father is the biggest snorer you will ever meet. Seriously, I can not sleep listening to his spectacular auditory display which is intermittently interrupted by a choking, gasping-for-final-breath chorus that leaves one waiting to see if he’ll survive to snore again. He always does. And so I try to sleep listening to my ipod, but this isn’t overly effective.

Thirdly, my foot still aches somewhat and is particularly bad at night. And sleep with a bloody great cast on is not overly comfortable.

In fact, the best sleep I’ve had recently was on Saturday night when after a party I passed out on my friend’s bed during a game of post-drinking cards. After the two boys kindly videoed themselves lifting my arm up and letting it drop in my comatose state, I was left to a very peaceful and undisturbed sleep.

So short of drinking myself into a stupor I think I’m stuck with being awake for a while.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Tuesday, 17 Jul 2007 14:38
One would think that being immobile I would have the chance to come up with some profound thoughts to share with the world. One would think. However I have had no such epiphanies or even amusing theories. My mind is decidedly turning to mush as my leg lies limp inside a cast. The only thinking I have had to do is setting relief work for my classes, and this task simply infuriates me. Even though my colleagues are bemoaning that I get time off from work, I have been finding it very difficult to set work that I’m not actually able to teach. Which must mean I am a teacher-centred educator instead of a ‘student-centred facilitator’ that we were taught to be at Teacher’s College. On reflection, I do tend to talk a lot in my classes, and always encourage class discussions and debates. But you cannot set this as relief, as the relieving teacher may not be English trained, let alone know the topic you are studying. Perhaps it will be good for the students to actually get on with work without my help. Now I feel I’m an over-bearing control-freak.

I think I just had an epiphany.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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   New window
Date: Tuesday, 10 Jul 2007 21:12
Your turn to play. With whom have I morphed?

Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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   New window
Date: Tuesday, 10 Jul 2007 18:14
Yes, I am bored.

Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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   New window
Date: Tuesday, 10 Jul 2007 17:35
No associated text to display
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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   New window
Date: Monday, 09 Jul 2007 16:45
I've broken my foot.

Shattered the 5th metatarsal to be exact.

It all started on Thursday night, after a few wines with a friend. For those of you who have not been to our flat, there is a very small balcony that you can only access through my flatmate's window. So I was jumping back into the room from the window sill - which is only just over a metre drop- when I hurt me poor foot. Poor me.

So after a couple of days in hospital and surgery on my foot, I now have three wires protruding from my foot, thankfully hidden by a cast. Presently I am sore and already fed up at not being able to move. I'm staying at my mum's for a while as my flat has a long steep staircase to conquer upon entering. And everyone likes to be looked after by their mum when feeling miserable.

So I am going to have a lot of spare time on my hands. I'm not really the type to stay home, I go out a lot. I have no idea what I'm going to do for the next 6 weeks, but I know that I am going to become extremely annoying to those around me.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Ladettes   New window
Date: Thursday, 12 Apr 2007 16:57
I don't know if anyone will even read this seeing as I have become so completely useless at posting. But I'm bored so when is there a better time? I've been home all week with the flu, lying in bed shivering instead of doing some much needed work at school (we're on break at the moment). I always get sick in the holidays.

I have also been lying in bed sulking, as I was dumped by someone on Monday. It's such a terrible expression; 'dumped', but I think it suits the way you feel when it happens. So on Monday night I found myself at a friend's with 4 other single females who are all having their share of relationship (or non-relationship, to be more succinct) problems.

We were sitting around pondering our predicament. We are 5 young, educated teachers. Highly intelligent (if I do say so myself), caring, good fun to go out with, yet most of the time single. We hit upon the idea that perhaps we are a little intimidating. We are the group at work who go out the most, stay out all night and can drink many of our male colleagues under the table. We are of the 'ladette' culture. This term came out a few years ago now and was applied to women in England who were going out on the town and enjoying themselves in a way traditionally reserved for the 'lads'. By intimidating, I mean that we don't always act the part of the lady. Sure we put our make-up and heels on, but we enjoy ourselves and act the fool instead of sitting at the bar flipping our hair.

We have no problems getting dates, but they tend to be one-offs or only last a week or two before he calls it all off without much warning. But then perhaps I am getting it all wrong. I have single male friends who are finding it just as hard to sustain a relationship. In fact after Mr X broke up with me (on the phone too!) on Monday, the first two people I rang were good male friends of mine. Luke was the first, and although that may seem a bit odd ringing your ex of five years, I knew he would be the best person to talk to and elevate my esteem from 'complete shit' to 'not completely hopeless'. The second call was to a good friend who is having his own women problems and we have spent a couple of past nights watching dvds and feeling sorry for ourselves.

Are strong, independent women intimidating? Or are we just looking for a flattering excuse as to why we're not tied down with children yet? I'm sure the conversation will come up again tonight when I meet the girls (and one guy) for drinks. Sure we will comfort each other by celebrating our singledom, but by the end of the night one or two will have dates lined up and the whole process will start all over again.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Busy   New window
Date: Wednesday, 28 Feb 2007 16:36
I haven't posted in yonks. This is because I've been busy at school, trying to catch up with everything. I've also undertaken several extr-curricular activities and events, so I feel I'm almost living and breathing work at the moment.

If anyone is still reading this, I hope you are all well.

I'll post when I have something interesting to say. So that could be Christmas.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Wednesday, 17 Jan 2007 15:03
I was watching the news the other night and there was an item on about house prices in New Zealand. The average house price these days is $350, 000. This depresses me. How am I ever going to buy my own place? I was talking to my dad about it and his response was 'Well, you might not always be a teacher' (he has always feared that my chosen profession doesn't pay enough). But I like teaching. Sure I could find a more highly paid job, but would I like it as much?

I don't think I will ever be able to afford to buy a house on my own. I was talking to my friend Brad the other day, and we were discussing where we think we'll be when we are 30 (six years away for us). When I was younger (I mean up to about 5 months ago) I always thought I would be married and living comfortably in a house with maybe a young child and definitely a dog. I don't know where this preconception came from. I'm guessing my parents. But since breaking up with Luke, I've realised I have no idea what direction my life is going to take. The last guy I dated was 35. Had that worked out I imagine it would be vastly different than marrying someone closer to my own age.

I want to travel in the next couple of years, so I guess there isn't even any point worrying about a house at the moment.

Who knows, I may meet and marry an Englishman of weath and never have to worry about it again.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Tuesday, 16 Jan 2007 14:17
I know I have no right to complain, but I'm going to anyway.


Those of you who know me personally will know that I get bored quite easily. As a child my mother would always respond "only boring people get bored" . Well now, that very well might be, but how does that help me?! Teachers get bloody good holidays, we all know that. But I'm at the point where I would like to go back to school, so that I can then complain about wishing to be back on holiday. The grass is always greener.

The main problems contributing to my boredom are:
- My flatmate is in Hobart watching the cricket, I've seen her all of 3 days this entire break (she is a teacher also)

- I have no money. Because I was on a one year contract I got a lump sum payment at the end of the school year. This helped at Christmas but also helped me go clothes shopping, have a steady supply of alcohol, fund my trip to New Plymouth for New Year's and keep me entertained with going out many nights a week. But of course now I'm broke and ruing the nights I had several expensive shots too many.

- Most of my friends are in fact working, or my teaching friends are away. Or poor like me.

So in my spare time I have painted, read several books, walked aimlessly around town, cleaned the flat, worked out what I'm teaching for art (it will be my first time in this subject area), caught up with some long lost friends, hosted drinks at the flat, been to galleries and exhibtions, read some more. Yet boredom remains upon me.

Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Sunday, 24 Dec 2006 12:01
Hey look at me, twice in two days! I'm on a roll!

A few friends came over last night for some 'quiet drinks' (I decided we should leave when said friends started to play-fight too close to the bookshelves). We proceeded into town, which was strangely quiet for this time of year, and went to a couple of bars. On a walk down Courtney Place a man infront of me dropped a ten dollar note as he pulled something from his pocket. I picked it up and tapped him on the shoulder to give it back to him. He looked at me in amazement. "You angel. Thank you so much. What an honest girl."

As I continued walking to catch up with the boys (who had kindly not waited for me) I had that warm feeling you get when you do something nice for someone. But it wasn't what I did, but his response that mattered. Had he just said thank you, I would have been on my way and not have given the incident another moment's thought. But it was his absolute suprise that, in turn, suprised me.

I would never have thought of pocketing the money myself when I had seen the person drop it two seconds before. First of all, it really is just like stealing. Secondly, who knows what his financial situation is? That $10 could have meant the difference between getting home safely in a taxi or an hour-long walk home. Thirdly, it's Christmas people! Not that I am hugely into the festive season myself, but if people are going to be honest and kind, surely this is the time to show it.

Sometimes I despair of we as a species, as I'm sure many of you do too. But maybe I'm just over-analysing all of this whilst at the same time giving myself a hearty pat on the back for my honesty.
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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Date: Saturday, 23 Dec 2006 15:35
I've decided to post again.
I've been really busy with the end of year at school and numerous festive gatherings. Plus with my lap-top being stolen from my classroom, I haven't had ready access to the net. I've also had my fair share of relationship struggles. Sometimes I feel I'm living the Bridget Jones life. At one moment I am deleriously happy with someone, the next I'm left heart-broken. I'm not an overly emotional person, in fact I tend to hold everything in, and I HATE crying infront of people. But I think that as I get older and learn more about myself I'm also more comfortable opening up to people. The down-fall of this is that it gives people the chance to hurt you. I went through a stage of 'numbness' earlier this year, and so I believe all these emotional ups and downs has been good for me; I feel more 'real'. It also allows me to be more creative, I am motivated to paint and draw again, something I have put off for too long now.

This seems highly personal to put on a blog, but I want people to remember that we need unhappiness to contrast happiness. It is also very cheesey, but there's a reason cliches are cliches.

I want to wish everbody a lovely Christmas and I hope you are all well.

Take care
Author: "Lis (noreply@blogger.com)"
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