Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 19:30
This is a series of comic book covers designed by Brazilian artist Butcher Billy reimagining post-punk/new wave musical artists as superheroes. The Billy Idol one is my favorite and not just because I have a thing for Aquaman, or that riding a giant seahorse would be cool, but because Billy Idol flipped me off at a concert once. It was at The Who concert in DC in and they were performing the rock opera Quadrophenia and Billy Idol came out as a special guest dressed as a bellhop at the beginning of the song 'Bell Boy' and he scanned the audience, we locked eyes, and he flipped me off, presumably because he could see into my soul and didn't like what he saw. Then they all broke into 'White Wedding', making it the greatest night of my life. Hit the jump for a bunch more including Morrissey of The Smiths and Robert Smith of The Cure.
Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 18:00
These are the $75 conch shell iPhone speaker amplifiers sold by WAAM Industries. You've got to admit, that's a pretty clever idea. Of course if you don't have $75 you could probably make your own after a trip to a beach gift shop to pick up a conch shell. Just get me a pet hermit crab while you're there. One with a shell painted like a lady bug. No -- the Bat-symbol. Hit the jump for a couple more shots in case you're not sure where to drill with the Dremel.
Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 17:00
This is a shot of Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear imagined in real life by DeviantARTist DanLuVisiArt (follow the link for a story the artist made up about Buzz that's really touching). He looks like a pretty cool dude. Also, kind of like John Hamm, who's seen me stall my car trying to pull out of a parking space before. Which, for the record, never would have happened if I hadn't seen him standing there. I got nervous, like trying to pee with a breathtakingly handsome man watching. Thanks to Cammie, who said something entirely inappropriate about what she'd do to Buzz which I can't even repeat here, but yes, it did involve a jetpack.
Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 16:30
20-year old failures Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart were arrested after accidentally butt-dialing 911 during a car burglary spree. That...is a really unfortunate butt-dial (and I know a guy who called his girlfriend while he was making out with her brother).
When the 9-1-1 operator got the call it seemed to be the wrong number, but instead of hanging up, he continued to listen, according to audio obtained by KGPE-TV on Wednesday. "I just want to smoke weed so bad right now," one suspect says. As the operator continues to listen over the next 35 minutes, the suspects can be heard breaking into a car to find prescription drugs. "They're Norcos, yeee-ahh!" the suspect exclaims. "We'll go back and search in a little bit and search the whole thing. But we'll park far away, you know?" After listening to the men speak, the operator is able to determine the men's approximate location and dispatches an officer. "He's right fucking behind me, dude," the suspect notes. "Oh, he's following me, Dog!"First of all, leaving narcotics (or anything else that would tempt a burglar) in your car is a bad idea. Secondly, how much you want to bet these two jokers don't learn their lesson and wind up continuing their downward spiral? Because I can totally see these too tripping and knocking themselves out during a convenience store robbery. Eventually, they'll wind up incarcerated, spending the rest of their days butt-dialing P for penis. Thanks to MonkeyswithGuns, which sounds frightening but would probably make a pretty cool movie.
Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 15:30
This is another video from Rhett and Link featuring a handful of children performing a Star Trek themed middle school musical. Personally, I never participated in middle school musicals because, come on, that's not what the cool kids were into. "You were never cast, were you?" Man, they wouldn't even let me help build the sets. My little sister is always bragging about how she's better than me because she keeps getting cast as the lead which is why I boo the entire time and throw poison ivy instead of roses. Hit the jump for the video.
Date: Friday, 17 May 2013 01:53
Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim continues to be exactly what its premise suggests with even more footage of giant robots fighting giant monsters. If that sounds like something you'd like to see for yourself, have a look below at the new "official main trailer." If not, know that you're missing out on this big-ass metal dude all like BOOOOOSH in this idiot monster's face.
Pretty Dismal: What The New York City Skyline Would Look Like On The Other Planets Of Our Solar System
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 22:30
This is a series of artistic renderings imagining what the New York City skyline would look like if it existed in the atmospheres of the other planets in our solar system. I put them in order from closest to furthest from the sun, but in case you forgot, that's: MERCURY, VENUS, EARTH, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, URANUS, NEPTUNE It's easy to remember because the first letter of each planet forms the word MVEMJSUN, and SUN is the name of our star and MVEMJ is...I don't know what the hell MVEMJ is. It would make a terrible name for a band though, I can tell you that. Also, I know what you're thinking, and I'm with you -- I think it's time we accept Pluto is no longer a planet and let it go. All this time hoping something would change has been like peeling a Band-Aid off in slow-motion, and we can't keep doing that to ourselves. "I agree, it's time to move on." Why you filthy little traitor! THAT WAS A TEST AND YOU FAILED. Thanks to ChaosLex, who, for two tips in a row, makes him today's gold star sticker recipient. Please come to the front of the class to claim your prize and feel free to smack any of the other students in the back of their heads on your way.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 21:00
These are the shots of some Minecraft Creeper riding the roller coaster at the New York-New York Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. There's not really much else to say except acknowledge you and I both are jealous we didn't think of it first. Personally, I always try to fake puke by spitting soda whenever the camera takes my picture on roller coasters. Then I don't even buy the print, just take a picture of the preview screen with my phone like a normal person. If I ever for-real puked though -- that picture I would buy and make into Christmas cards. They'll read, 'Season's Heavings from the GW and his lunch!' Thanks to ChaosLex, who loves chaos so much he always yells, "HOLY SHIT, THE TRACK IS OUT!" right before the first drop on a coaster.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 20:00
Scientists analyzing a two-mile deep mine in Ontario, Canada have discovered what is currently the oldest water known to date, at 2.6-billion years old. "Pfft, that's nothing." METHUSELAH YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.
The scientists analyzed water they found 2 miles (2.4 km) deep. They focused on noble gases such as helium, neon, argon and xenon. Past studies analyzing bubbles of air trapped within ancient rocks found that these rare gases could occur in distinct ratios linked with certain eras of Earth's history. As such, by analyzing the ratios of noble gases seen in this water, the researchers could deduce the age of the water. The finding, announced in the May 16 issue of the journal Nature, raises the tantalizing possibility that ancient life might be found deep underground not only within Earth, but in similar oases that may exist on Mars, the scientists who studied the water said.Are you thinking what I'm thinking? We bottle it and sell it to rich people for like $600/bottle! I don't know, print something on the side about anti-aging properties -- women love hearing that. And something about a bigger, firmer erection -- men AND women love hearing that. Hell, sometimes I just lay around repeating it to myself like it's some sort of magic boner spell. It's not though, you have to drink our water to get one. Thanks to Jaucet, who will insists he'll stick to drinking filtered water from the faucet like a normal person who doesn't care about staying perpetually young looking or rocking a boner the size of a bar stool. Your loss, man.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 19:00
Note: Picture relatively unrelated but still from one of the best games ever made. Funeral goers in Zimbabwe were sent scattering after a man believed to be dead for a day started moving around in his coffin. Turns out he wasn't dead after all, just MOSTLY dead. *cue Miracle Max making one of those chocolate-covered revival balls*
Brighton Dama Zanthe, 34, was being laid to rest inside a coffin last Monday after he apparently died at his home following a long illness. But the next day Mr Zanthe's friends and relatives scattered in disbelief when he started moving as they filed past to say their emotional goodbyes. 'At first I could not believe my eyes but later realised that there was indeed some movements on the body as other mourners retreated in disbelief.' The Herald, which is owned by Zimbabwe's government, reported that Mr Zanthe spent two days on life support after being rushed to the Gweru Provincial Hospital following the incident. He was discharged last week and has since returned home.This reminds me of an old joke about asking a guy what he hopes people say about him at his funeral. And the dude says he'd really like somebody to say, "Look, he's moving!" You know, because then he wouldn't really be dead. Me? I already know what I want someone to say at my funeral: Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most...human. "You stole that from Spock's funeral scene in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan!" What? That shit doesn't happen till 2285, Captain Kirk stole it from me. Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who informed me he wants his casket to be filled with ice-cold beer and everybody has to chug one when they come by for the viewing.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 18:00
This is the 32-disc X-Box carousel made entirely out of LEGO by Youtuber zwenkka. It can remove a game disc from the console and replace it with any of 31 others (selected via Bluetooth) in an average of 42-seconds. Which, let's not kid ourselves, is still way quicker than it would take to convince yourself to get off the f***ing sofa and do it by hand. Hell, it could take ten minutes and it would still be worth it. Do you know how long I have to call myself a lazy waste of life before I'll actually get off the couch and do something? Try two and a half hours. I've literally been banned from every pizza delivery place in town. Hit the jump for a video of the impressiveness.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 17:00
Because 'Why not?' seems to be just as good a reason as any these days, here's the giant yellow banana shaped pool table created by artist Cléon Daniel. I think we can all agree this piece does NOT carry any sort of social or political commentary. Or does it? Underpaid banana pickers are forced to live in poverty while the bigwigs at Chiquita play pool and smoke expensive cigars? DUM DUM DUM! I should have been a conspiracy theorist. Except that's not actually a conspiracy, that's just true. Hit the jump from one more shot.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:30
In happier Disney news, the parks will be offering custom 3-D printed stormtroopers with your face this summer as part of Disney Star Wars Weekends. Don't fancy yourself Imperial ion-cannon fodder? NO WORRIES, they're also selling 3-D printed versions of you frozen in carbonite. Will Leia come rescue you?! I wouldn't count on it.
The 10-minute experience captures an image of the fan, which is later sent to a high-resolution 3D printer to create a figurine. The completed figurine will arrive in seven to eight weeks for domestic shipping. The Star Wars D-Tech Me experience is $99.95, plus shipping and applicable sales tax.Seven to eight weeks for delivery?! If I was Disney, I'd sell personalized 3-D printed stormtroopers and offer INSTANT DELIVERY. You know how? "Only printing stormtroopers with their masks still on." Ding ding ding! You and I should start a business together. Thanks to jj, who always gets one of those caricature drawings done at Disney and is never really happy with the results. Is anybody?
See You In Hell: Rich Parents Hiring Disabled Guides So Their Brats Can Skip To The Head of The Lines At Disney
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 15:30
In news that would make anybody's blood boil who's spent two hours waiting to ride Pirates of the Caribbean with a bladder full of juice boxes, apparently rich Manhattan moms have gotten into the habit of hiring disabled tour guides to accompany their kids to Disney so they can skip to the head of the all lines and grow up to be giant pieces of entitled shit just like them. Prepare to rage!
"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' -- the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida. The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day. "You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge,'' she sniffed. "This is how the 1 percent does Disney." The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a "handicapped" sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.I can honestly say I've never wanted to believe Manhattan housewives get their kicks from trolling more than I do now. 'This is how the 1 percent does Disney' -- with a disabled stranger toting you to the front of every line? Now kids: don't talk to the handicapper, they only work for us, they're not a friend. I mean I understand the money, but I'm surprised the disabled folks are cool playing along with the scam too. I'm going to start posing as a disabled Disney guide, then, as soon as we get to the first line, stand up out of my wheelchair and yell, "It's a miracle!" before diving into a loud, lengthy shaming of the parents in front of everybody in line. Now that's a vacation your kids will never forget. Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he's the one that came up with this scam in the first place.
Date: Thursday, 16 May 2013 07:17
Born from a muddy CGI womb cradled amid Ghosts of Mars, 300, and a Sega CD cutscene from Sewer Shark, Riddick returns Vin Diesel to his role as a muscle-bound mole-man and drops him on a desolate, entirely Vin Diesel-colored planet. There, both bounty hunters and the even more dangerous native fauna threaten his existence, and Vin Diesel lifts his goggles real cool-like, like you can tell he's imagining Yello's "Oh Yeah" is playing. Here's the trailer. If you don't remember the last couple Riddick movies, don't worry about it. This doesn't seem to rely too heavily on understanding that mythology. Just on understanding Vin Diesel's groan language.
Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 22:00
This is a video from Rhett and Link (whose honest mobile home commercial is a classic that I watch bi-weekly) explaining the rules of 'Risky Settlers, Knights and Allies of the Lords of Dominion of Earth, Pandemic Edition'. It's a jocular take on the difficulty of learning the rules of a game you've never played before. Me? I've sworn off board games ever since I was dishonorably discharged from my post as Dungeon Master after I was caught hiding weight dice in my wizard hat. Thank God they didn't search my magic pouch. Hit the jump for the video.
Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 20:38
Because you can't just throw a convention these days without two rival nerd gangs going at it, a group of Doctor Who and Star Wars fans at the Norwich Sci-Fi and Film Convention got into a heated argument about something that's probably just going to make us all sad.
Both sides admitted there had been a long-running rivalry between the Norwich Sci Fi Club and the Norwich Star Wars Club. The dispute erupted after the treasurer of Norwich Sci Fi Club, Jim Poole, arrived at the event hosted by the rival club at the University of East Anglia. He was asked to leave as he approached Doctor Who actor Graham Cole for an autograph - leading to a stand-off which was only resolved by police and university security. A spokesman said: 'After lengthy investigation, talking to witnesses and reviewing good CCTV footage, it was confirmed that there was no assault. 'The two rival groups were spoken to and advised to keep out of each other's way.'Well that was depressing. But seriously, who do you think would win in a fight -- a Star Wars fans or a Doctor Who fan? My money's on any bystander who just feels like throwing a punch. Thanks to CMW and Mike C, who allegedly know a guy who got shanked with his own sonic screwdriver for calling Jabba a fat shit.
Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 20:00
This is a motorcycle powered by a 150hp Rotec Radial R3600 airplane engine. It was pieced together by German mechanic Frank Ohle, who, God willing, has future plans to bolt wings to the thing and speed it straight off a cliff and into our hearts. Or a ravine.
Over the course of 18 months, Ohle figured out all of the ridiculously improbable steps involved in this project -- that includes fitting a custom chassis, painting, suspension and electronics -- and ended up with an absolutely gorgeous, incredibly noisy nine-cylinder superbike.Impressive work, Frank. Or should I say, the Red Baron?! You thought we wouldn't figure it out? You turned a motorcycle into a replica of your old plane man, it didn't exactly take rocket science to put two and two together. It did take my roommate telling me though, because I suck at solving mysteries. You know how many times I've won at Clue? F***ING HATE THAT GAME. Hit the jump to the see a video of the being ridden around in circles and not barnstorming like I was hoping.
Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 19:00
This is a compilation video of some of the questionable looking fake websites and apps used in the Doctor Who show. Those things always crack me up. You know what show really made crappy looking websites to use on-air though? Gossip Girl. They made it look like blogging was as simple as pushing a giant blue 'PUBLISH' button. Well I've got news for you folks -- it's not that easy. There are other, smaller buttons you have to push sometimes too. Hit the jump for the video.
Date: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 18:00
By searching 'Atari Breakout' in Google images you can play the game and stick it to the man for a couple minutes while at work. Or on your lunch break if you care about keeping your job. I took the time to beat the whole first stage to see if the level changes, but it does not. It's just level one over and over and over again until you die. It's like a metaphor for life. Oh boy, oh boy, here comes a new level! NOPE. Thanks to Jon, who agrees we should class-action lawsuit Google for the loss of profits due to a sudden drop in worker productivity.
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