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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 23:00
game-of-thrones-interactive-map.jpg This is an interactive map (links to actual map) of Westeros and the surrounding lands created by Westeros.org user carpiediem. You can click on pretty much anywhere to bring up a Game of Thrones wiki about the area, track characters' travels through the books and show, and more. Perhaps one of the coolest features is that is you can move the slider in the upper right corner to the latest chapter/show you've read/watched and the map will remove any information that happens after that so there aren't any spoilers. That's neat. Right now I'm make-believing I'm riding a dragon around Westeros burninating villages and claiming them as my own. Oh, they're shooting arrows at us -- you know what to do, Trogdor (I named my dragon Trogdor). Trogdor -- NO -- bleed and crash is not what we're supposed to do. Stop acting like that sissy Falcor, I thought you were a beast of war. Hey -- you know the egg your girlfriend laid that I said was stolen by the White Walkers? I made an omelet. It was good, I don't regret it. Thanks to Jackie, who took the time to tell me she's caught up on all the books AND shows. Go you! You should have told me earlier and I would have made you a banner or something.
Author: "--" Tags: "a song of fire and ice, books, cartograp..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 21:30
powdered-alcohol.jpg Because sometimes trying to sneak a bottle of bourbon taped to your nuts into a sporting event still gets confiscated by security, now there's Palcohol, a powdered alcohol that's just been approved for sale in the US. That way security will just think it's fat sack of coke and call the police! It's just powdered alcohol, I swear -- I just didn't want to pay $16 for a cocktail! *getting handcuffed* My only crime is being thrifty!
What's worse than going to a concert, sporting event, etc. and having to pay $10, $15, $20 for a mixed drink with tax and tip. Are you kidding me?! Take Palcohol into the venue and enjoy a mixed drink for a fraction of the cost. We've been talking about drinks so far. But we have found adding Palcohol to food is so much fun. Sprinkle Palcohol on almost any dish and give it an extra kick. Some of our favorites are the Kamikaze in guacamole, Rum on a BBQ sandwich, Cosmo on a salad and Vodka on eggs in the morning to start your day off right. Experiment. Palcohol is great on so many foods. Remember, you have to add Palcohol AFTER a dish is cooked as the alcohol will burn off if you cook with it...and that defeats the whole purpose.
So...can you snort it? Because this sounds like it could be dangerous. AND I LIKE DANGEROUS. I'm going to bury my face in a pile of this stuff like Tony Montana at the end of Scarface. "And then?" The same thing Tony did. "Shoot up your mansion?" After that. "Die?" Exactamundo! And then my ghost is going to sue the company. "For?" An afterlifetime supply! This might be my best idea so far. UPDATE: Government says Palcohol was approved for sale in error, will not be on shelves (or up anybody's ass) soon. Keep going for a shot of the questionable-looking packaging.
Author: "--" Tags: "adding booze to food, booze, but will yo..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 20:30
zombie-paintball-masks-1.jpg These are the £18 (~$30) made to order zombie face paintball masks for sale by eBayer corpseguy. Is he really undead? I'm not sure, but I've never heard of a zombie running an eBay store before, so that would be a first for me. They don't actually come with the helmet though, it's a just a latex mask you wear over an existing helmet to intimidate your foes. Because there's nothing more terrifying than a zombie with a gun. I'm kidding, there are tons of things more terrifying than a zombie with a gun, including, and not just limited to, a zombie with its teeth already buried in your f***ing neck. That's like, a REAL oh shit moment. Keep going for a couple different styles, go to the auction page to see them all.
Author: "--" Tags: "having a great time, i am great at paint..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 19:30
drone-flying-through-fireworks.jpg This is a slow-motion video of a Phantom camera attached to a drone flying through a fireworks display. I kept waiting (read: hoping/praying) for it to get hit by a mortar, but it never did. My favorite shots were the ones that looked like you just pushed the warp drive button in your spaceship. Clench your ass cheeks, Space Rangers, because here...we...GOOOOOO! God I love playing space. If you bring your own cardboard box over you can design your own spaceship and play alongside me. "No thanks." Haha, I was going to laser cannon the shit out of you anyways. You ever seen my apartment? "There are torn up cardboard boxes everywhere." SPACESHIP GRAVEYARD. Hit the jump for the video. Hit me to get hit back even harder.
Author: "--" Tags: "a cardboard box can be anything with a l..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 18:30
13-ball-juggling.jpg Well, I don't know if it's actually considered juggling, because he only throws two of the balls twice. The rest are only in the air for a single round (13 balls, 15 total catches). Still impressive though. Reminds me of the time in high school before gym class started when I was in the gym throwing Skittles as high as I could and catching them in my mouth. I was catching them from like, 20-25 feet. Everyone was so impressed. Then I chipped a tooth during my finale. "That's embarrassing." It was, but not nearly as bad as next week when I shit my pants running the mile. You know what they called me? Forrest Dump. Completely ruined the movie for me. Keep going for the video.
Author: "--" Tags: "balls, congratulations, daring to dream,..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 17:30
honda-asimo-demo.jpg One cyanide or two? This is a short video of Honda demoing the latest version of their ASIMO (Advanced Step in Innovative MObility) humanoid robot. Asimo was first introduced in 2000, and has since undergone a series of upgrades that make him less likely to fall up and down stairs like he was so good at in the beginning. Which is a shame, because I liked him better back then. After all, he is supposed to be a HUMANOID robot, and what's more human than making mistakes? "GW? You're over-thinking this." I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO. Keep going for the video.
Author: "--" Tags: "honda, humanoid, it's all fun and games ..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 16:30
reversed-privates.jpg HIYO, female insect peen coming at ya! This is a closeup of a Brazilian cave insect in which male and female sex organs are reversed. The males have vaginas and the females, big ol' penises (for an insect). The male still produces the sperm though, the female just dips her penis-like straw (called a gynosome) into his vagina to collect the little swimmers. Why we should count our lucky stars we weren't reincarnated as male Brazilian cave insects:
During mating, the female's spiny penis gets tightly anchored to the male vagina's sperm duct, allowing the female to receive the semen. In other words, this penis functions more like a straw than a spout. If the male tried to break away [during copulation, which lasts between 40-70 hours], his abdomen would rip open, and he would dramatically lose his genitals. These female insects also mate with multiple males and can store two batches of sperm in the body.
Wow, Mother Nature -- you've really outdone yourself. Nothing like having your abdomen ripped open and "dramatically losing your genitals" because you tried to get up and grab a bite to eat in the middle of a 70-hour sexcapade. Listen, here's a little protip for all you male Brazilian cave insects out there: just masturbate. Keep going for a shot of the organs mid-copulation, and a diagram explaining what you're looking at.
Author: "--" Tags: "biology, brutal, but i don't wanna lose ..."
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Date: Tuesday, 22 Apr 2014 15:30
assassins-creed-climb.jpg This is a video of some pro free-climber scaling the side of a building. After a couple attempts of of making a long jump to the next handhold and sliding back down, he goes inverted and pulls out this Spider Man move. Is that common? Because it doesn't look like it. Man, I wish I could do cool shit like this. I'm like, not coordinated at all. I can barely climb the stairs without falling (using the handrail!). Last night I tried to jump into bed and missed and had to sleep on the floor. Keep going for the video. It's short. Me? I'm 6'1".
Author: "--" Tags: "assassin's creed, climbing, cooooool, go..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 23:00
sideways-car-tire-changing.jpg Note: Okay, so all five don't actually crawl out -- one dude is already hanging on when the driver puts the car up on its side. Because the hiring process at Jiffy Lube is fiercely competitive in Saudi Arabia, this is a video of five guys removing and replacing two wheels of an SUV while its being driven balanced on the other two. Not how I spent my weekend, but I was also too busy to sit around inventing new ways to die or get paralyzed. That's more of a three-day weekend thing. Ooh ooh -- a zipline from my balcony to the nearest bus stop! Keep going for the insanity.
Author: "--" Tags: "changing tires, congratulations?, darede..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 22:00
hogwarts-online-classes.jpg HogwartsIsHere is a website offering free online classes in magic and potions and all that other fun stuff that make-believe witches and wizards want to learn. Me? I learned the Killing Curse from another kid on the back of the short bus so I'm good on magic.
Though it is similar to the franchise's interactive ebook website Pottermore, this version doesn't seem to follow directly in Potter's footsteps. The immersive website was made by members of the fandom to bring together anyone who has been seeking "magical experiences" since the series' conclusion. It also takes its course work very seriously -- starting out as first year students, users are expected to complete homework assignments, essays, quizzes and tests for classes such as "Charms" and "Potions," and progress through all seven years of wizard academics.
I don't know, I'm not convinced magic is a subject best taught online. I feel like it might be better to learn hands-on. Also, it says class registration may take up to a day, but you can use their web-app to make your own acceptance letter in the meantime. Wait -- make your own acceptance letter?! What the hell kind of magic school is this? I WANT THAT SHIT BROUGHT BY AN OWL. Thanks to PYY, who agrees the best magic isn't taught online, it's learned by accident while you're waving your wand around muttering gibberish. Whoa -- my penis just shot a laser!
Author: "--" Tags: "allacabrobro, but when do we get to lear..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 21:00
r2d2-measuring-cups-1.jpg This is the R2-D2 measuring cup set available from ThinkGeek ($20). The stacked cups actually make up his body, and his utility arms are nested measuring spoons! Admittedly, I bet R2 would be a great helper in the kitchen. C-3PO? C-3PO is not a good helper anywhere. "Target practice." I stand corrected. Keep going for a couple more shots and a video, because some measuring cups need a video.
Author: "--" Tags: "baking, different strokes for different ..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 20:00
r&b-pokemon-theme.jpg This is a video of a group performing the Pokemon theme song in the style of a 90's R&B; slow jam. It's sultry. The kind of song you and a lover could take each other's clothes off to. Or, if you're like me, the kind of song you could fumble around with a bra clasp to for a minute until she feels sorry for you and takes it off herself. At this time she will question whether she should be getting naked with you in the first place. Will she continue? Probably not. And does it really even matter since you climaxed as soon as her shirt came off? Sexy time. Keep going for the video, it's worth a listen.
Author: "--" Tags: "getting freaky deaky, good ideas, heck y..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 19:00
loch-ness-monster-1.jpg Note: Closeups of the beast after the jump. This is an image from the satellite used for Apple's Maps app of what some crazy people are calling the Loch Ness Monster. The photo would make her about 100-feet in length. Is it really her? That's for you to decide. Jk jk, that's for me to decide. *eying picture* Nope, not her -- Nessie's flippers are way smaller. Maybe this is her older brother. Listen, you really want to find the Loch Ness Monster? Here's what we do: erect a floating shrine to Nessie in the middle of the loch, and tie a virgin volunteer (who will be bodypainted to look like the monster) to the shrine. "And then?" And then drain the loch. Keep going for a couple more shots.
Author: "--" Tags: "conspiracies, hmm, hoaxes, i don't know ..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 18:00
spider-man-dart-shooter.jpg This is the Spider Man 'webslinger' built by Patrick Priebe of Laser Gadgets. Except instead of shooting actual webs it uses a little coilgun to shoots darts. It looks dangerous, and there is no doubt in my mind I'd find a way to shoot myself in the hand and/or face trying to use it. I'm not that coordinated. Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a knife fight? Well I was never actually IN the fight, I slipping in the shower that morning and threw my hip out. I was at the hospital getting a wheelchair when all my buddies came in with stab wounds. Keep going for a video demo.
Author: "--" Tags: "building things, coilgun, cool but i rea..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 17:00
transformer-ball.jpg This is Norwegian engineer Kåre "Zenta" Halvorsen's MorpHex, a hexapod robot that can transform and roll out in a ball. You may actually recall MorpHex from this post back in 2012, this is just the new and improved version. Or maybe it's the exact f***ing same, I'm not sure. Whatever the case, when reached for comment about the transforming ball, Optimus Prime just laughed and told the little shit to go join the Decepticons. Keep going for a video of the bot in action.
Author: "--" Tags: "hexapod, hobbies, more than meets the ey..."
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Date: Monday, 21 Apr 2014 16:00
flaming-music-table.jpg This is the Pyro Board, a table containing 2,500 flames that respond to the audio pumped beneath it. It's like a real-life Winamp visualizer. Remember in college when you used to get high and listen to your favorite music at night watching Winamp at full screen? Those were simpler times.
The pressure variations due to the sound waves affect the flow rate of flammable gas from the holes in the Pyro Board and therefore affect the height and colour of flames. This is interesting for visualizing standing wave patterns and simply awesome to watch when put to music.
Heck yeah, flaming coffee table! Just make sure to moved all your remotes and video game controllers before firing this bad boy up. You smell that? Smells like somebody just got a new coffee table! Jk jk, smells like my cat's on fire. I told you to stay off the furniture! Keep going for the video.
Author: "--" Tags: "audio, burninating, coffee table, fire, ..."
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Date: Friday, 18 Apr 2014 22:00
clone-trooper-toy-photography-1.jpg This is a photographic series by Malaysian photographer Zahir Batin of clone trooper toys doing their thing in real life. It's reminiscent of this photo series of how stormtroopers spend their day off. If I was a clone trooper, you know what I would do in my spare time? Kill Darth Vader. Then I would be a rebel hero and, hopefully, be rewarded with the most beautiful Ewok bride in the whole treehouse village. "Wait, a WHAT kind of bride?" Congratulations, that was a test and you passed. Nobody wants to be with an Ewok. Now a female Wookiee -- that would be a furry ride worth taking. Like banging Bigfoot, but with tits. "Wow." Right?! "Not in the least." Let me guess -- you're probably into those blue chicks with the giant tentacles coming out the back of their heads. I know what you have in mind! You're the real freak here, don't try to pass it off on me. Keep going for a bunch more, but check out over 100 at Zahir's DeviantART, Facebook and 500px.
Author: "--" Tags: "action figures, awww look at all you guy..."
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Date: Friday, 18 Apr 2014 20:30
italian-haunted-island-for-sale-1.jpg This is Poveglia Island, a 17-acre island "between Venice and Lido in the Venetian Lagoon, northern Italy." It was originally used as a dumping ground for dying plague victims. Then in 1922 a mad doctor opened a mental hospital there where he performed lobotomies with hammers and chisels, and eventually killed himself by jumping from the hospital's tower "after claiming he'd been driven mad by ghosts." I dunno, sounds like you might have been mad already, doc. And now it's for sale by the Italian government to help reduce its debts. I say we buy it, bulldoze everything, and build a happy fun amusement park with tons of rides...that kill.
The island has remained closed to visitors in recent years with access strictly restricted by the Italian government. It has become a draw for supernatural investigators searching for signs of the rumoured spirits, the most famous of which is a plague victim called Little Maria, who it is claimed stands crying looking out across the lagoon towards her home. One of the visiting presenters of the Travel Channel series Ghost Adventures claimed to have been possessed on a visit to the island. According to The Telegraph the plan for the decrepit building is to transform it into a luxury hotel, though a group of architects and planners have launched a campaign to buy the island in a bid to stop the further privatisation of the lagoon.
A luxury hotel? I don't think that's a good idea. I say just sink the island into the lagoon and build another one. One with less...history. Because history, as I may have mentioned before, was my second worst subject in school. So what if Lincoln crossed the Mississippi to go to war with the Frenchies, I want to learn things that are going to get me a HIGH PAYING JOB. I'm kidding, history is important. As philosopher George Santayana once said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Haha -- I just sounded smart, didn't I? That felt weird, I don't think I like it. *chugs beer, fails to break bottle over head* Aww yeah, BACK IN BUSINESS. Keep going for several shots of the hospital's luxurious interior.
Author: "--" Tags: "evil, for sale, ghosts, haunted, i'm not..."
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Date: Friday, 18 Apr 2014 19:30
saturn-new-moon.jpg This is a photo from NASA's Cassini spacecraft of an unusual object orbiting Saturn at the edge of its A ring (not to be confused with its O-ring, which is Uranus). Astronomers are speculating its a new moon forming, which is already about 1/2-mile in diameter. Me? I'm convinced its a spaceship. When it doubt, aliens -- that's my motto. Now grab a tin-foil hat and meet me in my tree-house, we have an invasion to plan for.
The moons that orbit Saturn may be increasing by one -- an icy, pint-sized object that astronomers have named "Peggy." The object's gravity seems to have roughed up the ring's usually smooth profile. As a result, a stretch of the A ring that measures 750 miles long and 6 miles wide is now about 20% brighter than it would typically appear. Peggy, which is believed to have caused this mess, is too small for Cassini to see directly. But NASA scientists hope to get a closer look in late 2016, when Cassini is scheduled to fly near the A ring.
Whoa whoa whoa -- now wait just a minute, Saturn. You need to SLOW YOUR ROLL. Did you know Saturn already has 62 moons? SIXTY-TWO. And it's trying to make another? I suggest all the other planets in the solar system hold an emergency meeting to determine if Saturn is getting too greedy. Sure Jupiter already has 67, but Saturn also has those rings. You shouldn't get to have any moons if you have rings. I mean, here on earth we only got one moon. I feel ripped off. "Mercury and Venus don't have any." F*** those planets. You choose to hang out that close to the sun, that's your bad. Thanks to Geekologie's astronomer in residence Jamie M, who I still haven't fully forgiven for trying to sneak an April Fool's story past me. I would have looked like a fool! People trust me!
Author: "--" Tags: "making babies, moons, OH LOOK AT ME I'M ..."
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Date: Friday, 18 Apr 2014 18:30
x-wing-engagement-ring.jpg These are the X-Wing and TIE Fighter engagement rings designed by Paul Michael Design (of Wonder Woman, Pokeball and Triforce ring fame). Because, just like Beyonce sings in that one song, "If you liked then you shoulda put a X-Wing on it". Please, somebody just come break my nose, I deserve it. "And so much worse." Wow, really? I'm not self deprecating enough that you actually feel the need to join in? I'd take a good long look at myself in the mirror if I were you. Then turn the lights off and spin around chanting Bloody Mary until she appears and steals your soul. Clearly it was a dickbag soul anyways. Keep going for the TIE Fighter.
Author: "--" Tags: "different strokes for different folks, e..."
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