Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 22:30
In they sure as hell don't make them like that anymore news, this is an ultra-impressive wooden desk with all sorts of mechanized, moving parts and secret compartments. I LOVE secret compartments. It was built over 200 years ago without the use of any power tools. Probably because power tools didn't exist 200 years ago, but that's just a guess. Honestly, I started drinking at lunch and have just been watching videos at my desk until my boss leaves so I can get out of here for the weekend. Will he give me a last minute assignment to finish before Monday? PROBABLY. Will I tell him where he can shove that assignment? After I see him out the window heading to his car I will! I'm a badass and I don't take shit from anyone. Keep going for the worthwhile video.
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 20:30
This is a fly-by of J.J. Abram's Millennium Falcon for the new Star Wars movie. Apparently J.J. and Batman v Superman director Zack Snyder like poking fun at each other via Twitter (I guess that's how you get your kicks when you're a rich, successful director instead of hunting humans like I suspected), so he included a little Batmobile attached to the underbelly of the Falcon at the end of the video. No word if the Batmobile Easter egg will appear on the big screen, but I certainly hope not because that would totally ruin the realism of the entire Star Wars galaxy for me. "Seriously?" No, I don't care. I'm sure I seem opinionated, but that's only because I have to type words to fill these boxes. In reality I care so very little about so many things. Opinions are like @$$holes: everybody has one, but you really don't wanna hear anybody else's. Especially not some stranger's on the bus. Man, there was a guy sitting in front of me the other day with an opinion that sounded WET. Hit the jump for the video. Hit me to get hit back even harder.
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 19:30
10-year old George the goldfish is doing swimmingly following a 45-minute procedure to remove a brain tumor (links to whole story with pictures of the whole process). Because apparently that's something that can be done. Next stop: turning the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back into regular turtles.
Dr. Tristan Rich of the Lort Smith Animal Hospital in Melbourne said George, a 10-year-old goldfish, underwent surgery last week to remove a brain tumor that was "affecting his quality of life" and the fish is now "swimming happily in the pond." Rich said the 45-minute procedure, which cost the fish's owner about $180, was tricky because he had to be "very careful about blood loss," with the fish only able to lose about half a milliliter of blood -- about .02 of an ounce -- safely.Pets: people love them. Even fish. Hell, even rocks. I used to have a pet rock that I carried around with me everywhere I went. Until one day *sniffle* he just ran away. "You threw him through a neighbor's window." I SAID HE RAN AWAY. Thanks to someone who left the name field blank when sending their tip, who's apparently too humble to take credit for anything.
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 18:30
To celebrate their new donut delivery services (WAIT -- WHAT?!) in the U.K. (dammit!) Krispy Kreme baked up a special double hundred dozen box of their original glazed donuts. That's 2,400 donuts. And apparently one lucky company is going to win all these donuts, although hopefully sooner than later because the half-life of a donut is like 8 hours. One time I ate a 4-day old donut from Dunkin' Donuts. Never again. Fine, I'd do it again, but I'd have to be just as hungover and the box would still have to be mostly closed like when I dug it out of the trash last time. Keep going for one more shot.
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 17:30
FOX News 7 in Austin Texas used some quality B-roll footage of a guy smoking a bowl in his car during a segment on texting while driving. No word if they thought he was doing something else, but it's pretty hard to confuse a guy smoking a bowl in his car for anything but a guy smoking a bowl in his car. That's not a f***ing text message shooting flames. Keep going for the video, 420 blz3 at 1:04 (video should start near there).
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 17:00
Picture related: Pizza with nuts on it. 18-year old Austin Michael Symonds was arrested after a customer caught him rubbing his balls on the pizza he had just ordered. Apparently Austin was pissed the customer had placed an order right before closing, and decided to take matters into his own
hands scrotum. Although why he was rubbing his balls on a pizza where a customer could see him is beyond me. Generally speaking though, the people who will rub their testicles on food to spite someone aren't the brightest.
red-handed red-balled, that sucks. Thankfully for Austin's testicles though, he worked at a Papa Murphy's, which sells take-and-bake pizzas instead of already cooked ones, so there was no chance of burning his change-purse on the pizza. Although maybe that would have been for the best. You scorch your nuts once and you'll think twice before dunking them in somebody else's French onion soup.
Thanks to GIBB, who agrees if you really want to rub your nuts on something, make it a soft towel after a shower.
Brent Bradley told cops that when he arrived at Papa Murphy's pizza in Georgetown, a city 25 miles north of Austin, he spotted worker Austin Michael Symonds "rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered," according to a criminal complaint detailing the September 2 incident. When confronted by the customer--who was there to pick up a large stuffed pie with Canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese--the 18-year-old Symonds immediately apologized. "Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid," Symonds said, according to the complaint. Bradley then asked Symonds how old he was. After the teenager answered that he was 18, Bradley said, "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza." "Yes," said Symonds.Man, caught
Date: Friday, 19 Sep 2014 15:30
Jack Cooksey was Perth, Australia's first person to get his grubby little mitts on the new iPhone 6. So what did he do? Accidentally drop the thing on the concrete trying to open the box during a television interview. Thankfully, the phone survived unscathed. No word if Jack is unemployed or if the company he works for understood his need to camp out for a new phone, although I have my suspicions. Keep going for the video interview.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 22:30
These are the Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un cat scratching posts sold by The Pussycat Riot, an advocacy group of cats against cyber censorship created by the folks at HideMyAss.com, which provides virtual private network services for online anonymity. And as cool as either one would be to have, they cost £4,500 (~$7,400) apiece, making it far cheaper to print out a picture of Putin or Jong-un's face from the internet and tape it to an existing cat post. Thankfully, they also sell £3 (~$5) litter boxes with the faces of various internet censorship friendly world leaders printed on the bottom so your cats can shit all over them. All money will be donated to charity. ALLEGEDLY. It's easy to say you're GOING TO donate money to charity, it's a lot harder to actually DO it. "We're going to -- we want to stop internet censorship." And not just line your own pockets with money? "Correct." Seriously?! "YES." Okay I'm still waiting for you to wink at me. Keep going for shots of the Kim Jong-un one.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 20:30
This is the $13 D20 Bowl Set available from ThinkGeek. Together, the two pieces form a D20 die. Separate, they form two halves of a D20 die that are fillable with chips and dip. Don't limit yourself to chips though, you could also fill them with candy like fun-size Snickers bars or Sour Patch Kids. Or nuts! Not mine though, mine wouldn't fit. I'm not bragging, by the way, it's a medical thing. Just kidding, I was bragging! Keep going for the bowls forming a whole D20 Voltron-style. Then roll it off the kitchen counter onto the floor!
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 19:30
Apparently to give Florida a break for a day, some jackass teen in Idaho set his friend's armpit hair on fire which they were driving, leading to a crash and three injuries. Idaho: where setting your driver on fire sounds like a good idea.
The crash happened at 5:30 a.m. on Columbia Road between Meridian and Linder roads. Eighteen-year-old Tristan Myers was driving when his front-seat passenger, a 16-year-old boy, set Myers' armpit hair on fire. The driver lost control of the Ford Bronco, rolling the vehicle. Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle. Myers, his front-seat passenger, and a 17-year-old boy remained in the vehicle. None of the teens were wearing seatbelts, deputies say. Three of the teenagers were taken to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. Myers first said he had swerved to avoid an animal in the road, but the truth emerged after deputies talked to all the teens.Several things: 1) WEAR YOUR F***ING SEATBELTS. 2) Never get in a car with a jackass with a lighter. 3) But if you do, don't wear a tank top. 4) But really, try to avoid getting in cars with jackasses in general. 4) Idaho sounds like a real blast. 5) Idaho produced 14.2-billion pounds of potatoes last year. 6) The average American eats approximately 126 pounds of potatoes a year! 7) Potatoes are really earth's testicles. 8) Just kidding, that's the moon. 9) Not sure what happened to the other one. Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who is so evil he's never NOT trying to set his driver on fire, even on the bus.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 18:30
This is a video of Edner the all white cat trying to use a human toilet. Because what proud cat owner doesn't want footage of their feline companion dropping a deuce in a crapper? The only problem is, Edner sucks at it and shits right on the floor. Then jumps down and smells it, then tries to cover it with imaginary litter. Probably not the video the owner was hoping for. The one I was praying for, absolutely. So, the next time somebody asks you if you can teach an old dog new tricks, you can tell them you've seen a cat shit on the floor trying to crap in a human toilet. Then tap your head and say, "Think about it," before walking away. That night over dinner, they'll tell their family they met the smartest person in the world today. Keep going for nine seconds of whatever, I've done that before.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 18:30
This is the Instructable for how to build your own hamster wheel standing desk. That way you can work and exercise simultaneously. Hooray, now I can finally do my two least favorite things at the same time!
The project requires four sheets of plywood, two skate wheels, two pipes, and 240 wood screws. Rise up, sedentary sentients, and unleash that untapped potential within by marching endlessly towards a brilliant future of focused work. Step forward into a world of infinite potential, bounded only by the smooth arcs of a wheel. Step forward into the Hamster Wheel Standing Desk that will usher in a new era of unprecedented productivity.You know what's even cooler than a hamster wheel desk? This hammock desk I just invented. "But where's the desk part?" I just rest my laptop on my belly. Plus look -- I hung a cupholder off the side. But you know what the problem with that is? "What?" Look at it -- what's the problem with it? "It's empty?" GO GET ME ANOTHER BEER. Keep going for a timelapse of the build and a brief demo of the wheel in action.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 16:30
"Hey -- check out the picture of this @sshole." Netropolitan is a new social network for the rich. It costs $9,000 to join and $3,000 yearly in membership dues. It's supposed to serve the purpose of an 'online country club'. I just joined. Oh -- and I just got my first wall comment! "Credit card declined, please choose another payment option." Dammit.
This is 100% real, and I believe there is a need and an audience for this service," said James Touchi-Peters [GW's Note: hopefully not other people's], Netropolitan's founder. Touchi-Peters, 48, a composer and former conductor of the Minnesota Philharmonic Orchestra, said he had trouble finding people to whom he could relate on other social sites. "I saw a need for an environment where you could talk about the finer things in life without backlash -- an environment where people could share similar likes and experiences," he said. "We view Netropolitan.club in the same light as any country club out there," he said. "They have initiation fees and yearly dues for members. Netropolitan is an online country club, focused on connecting members around the world. We believe there is a need for a community like this, and we are filling the need."Sounds like a solid waste of $9,000 and $3,000 a year. I mean, what good is an online country club if there isn't even a pool to pee in? Although, admittedly, I would like 'talking about the finer things in life without any backlash'. *writing status update* OMG, did you see the gazoongas on that chick? Holy Toledo! Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he already hacked himself a profile and is mass-messaging everyone Nigerian prince scams.
Date: Thursday, 18 Sep 2014 15:30
These are the new line of Chia Zombies. They come in 'Lifeless Lisa', 'Creepy Holden' and 'Restless Arm' varieties and all retail for $17. Amazingly, I've never actually grown a Chia pet. Which is weird because I love plants and have a green thumb. See? "Yeah, but what's up with the brown ring finger?" FORGET WHAT YOU SAW HERE. Thanks to me, for wishing I had a yard to grow fruits and vegetables. Ooh -- and flowers to cut and arrange inside. I really am a horticulturist at heart.
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 22:00
This is the helmet-cam footage of a Russian vigilante woman who picks up litter tossed by other motorists and throws it back in their cars. In the case of the screepcap above, what appears to be a McDonald's milkshake. Looks like you should have drank the whole thing, jerk! In another case she picks up an entire ashtray and tosses it in the car of a woman who threw a pack of cigarettes out, and in another, tapes a discarded bottle to the side-view mirror of the offender. Also, I heard from one of my closest sources that this woman is actually dating Captain Planet. "Who's your source?" I can't say, but it's one of the Planeteers. "Kwame?" He said he caught them having sex in a water treatment plant. Keep going for the video.
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 20:30
In heartwarming news, 6-year old Addison, who's in remission from leukemia, got to travel to Hawaii and go on a unicorn-meeting adventure as part of a Make-A-Wish project. Addison believes unicorns are real and live in Hawaii, clearly because she knows what's up.
Addison, who is in remission after a two-and-a-half year battle with leukemia, traveled all the way from Georgia to Oahu. There, playwright Alvin Chan joined volunteers from Diamond Head Theatre to write and produce a magical adventure for her. They transformed Waimea Valley into the fairytale town of "Arboretia," and had "Princess Addison" accomplish special tasks in order to release a mythical unicorn and free the town's Queen. Addison's journey took her through Waimea Valley to find the prettiest flower in the forest and then the prettiest fruit. When it came to searching for the long lost unicorn, played by a horse named Sonny, Addison had to sing a song -- "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." Eventually, the pink unicorn emerged.Beautiful. If you got to meet any mythical beast, which would you choose? I think I'd choose a fire-breathing dragon, but only if I got to keep it as my own flying mount. Could you imagine me riding a dragon into battle? "You'd fall off." That bastard would probably drop me in a volcano." Good luck Addison, and keep believing. Keep going for several more shots of Addison meeting the unicorn, but be sure to check out the official Make A Wish project page for the pictures and story of her whole adventure.
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 19:30
A mother from Wales with nothing else to do is accusing Mattel of making 'Barbie Life In The Dreamhouse' dolls that say 'What the f***?" Although, with a total of five seconds research at the product site, I learned she actually says, "Off the hook!" (Also: "Amaze!" and "Get Your Sparkle On!") It's a $13 doll with a shitty speaker inside -- calm down. Really, it's your bad for buying your daughter such a doll that says "Off the hook!" and "Amaze!" in the first place. What kind of role model is that? You should have bought her a doll that says, "Equal pay for equal work!" and, "F*** you, I'll crash the glass ceiling!" Keep going for a video of the doll talking so you can make your own judgement.
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 18:00
This is a video of the George Mason University pep band practicing a Rage Against the Machine medley of 'Killing In The Name' and 'Bulls on Parade'. The chick in the red with the heart on the back of her shirt -- she really gets into it. I haven't been so excited about a song since the second to last Taylor Swift album. "Um, GW?" Please, accept me for who I am. Keep going for the video.
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 17:30
Note: Click HERE for the full-res poster. Remember DeviantARTist Dirk Loechel's massive sci-fi spaceship size comparison chart? Well now he's back with the FINAL UPDATE. And this is it. Note: For the sake of scale, only ships with lengths between 100 meters and 24,000-meters are included in the chart, so that's why there are no Star Fox, TIE fighters, x-wings etc., etc. One pixel = 10 meters, so an x-wing would only be a little over a single pixel. Also, the International Space Station is presented in the top left corner with a yellow box around it for REAL LIFE SCALE. Really puts things into perspective, doesn't it? That perspective being it's much easier to make-believe a spaceship six miles long than to actually build one. Thanks to Jordan, who pointed me to the Mass Effect section in the lower left corner, which is where I spent most of my time upset the Citadel didn't make the cut because it's almost 45-km long and would stretch the whole width of the chart. http://sploid.gizmodo.com/the-biggest-comparison-of-sci-fi-spaceships-ever-is-com-1635765447
Date: Wednesday, 17 Sep 2014 16:30
To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the film, Krispy Kreme and Sony Pictures have teamed up to release two Ghostbusters inspired donuts. Unfortunately, they're both marshmallow creme filled, because God forbid they make a Hi-C Ecto-Cooler jelly filled one and make all my wildest dreams come true (my wildest dream being my lover wearing a Slimer mask with Ecto-Cooler jelly filled donuts glued to her nipples with frosting).
Ghostbusters Doughnut: A marshmallow Kreme-filled shell topped with white icing, a decorative green "splat" inspired by Slimer, and a Ghostbusters logo sugar piece. Stay Puft Marshmallow: A marshmallow Kreme-filled shell topped with white icing, decorated with Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's familiar face and a sugar piece hat.The who you gonna call donuts will be on sale from September 29th through October 31st, but you can contact your local Krispy Kreme from now until they go on sale to pre-order some, provided you buy five dozen or more. That's almost double what I can eat in a sitting. If there's something strange in your neighborhood, what you gonna eat? Five dozen donuts! Then it's time to pray whatever that strange thing was isn't dangerous, because there's no way in hell you're outrunning it now. Thanks to TC and poopninja, who only hit up Krispy Kreme when the original glazed 'HOT NOW' sign is on.
» You can also retrieve older items : Read
» © All content and copyrights belong to their respective authors.«
» © FeedShow - Online RSS Feeds Reader