A dancer with the Royal Ballet gets through about 120 pairs of shoes a season.

“This world is a fandango, and he who does not dance it is a fool.”

SPANISH PROVERB

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Salvador Dali believed he was the reincarnation of the Spanish mystic St.John of the Cross. In 1969, he designed the logo for Chupa Chups lollipops, since when more than 40 billion have been sold.

“The naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukelele in an attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts.”

JAMES THURBER

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Lettuce is a kind of daisy. Both belong to the same botanical family as thistles, dandelions, chicory and nipplewort.

“Please don't eat the daisies.”

JEAN KERR

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Dahlias were discovered by the Spanish in Mexico at around the same time as potatoes, tomatoes and maize. The Spanish tried eating all of them, but the dahlias were disgusting.

“Sea foam fluttered like birds' wings
and two salt hills were left on the beach,
and all the sea long was lake-upon-lake
with sailboats tiny as a thumb,
their colors like bubbles of soap. ”

DAHLIA RAVIKOVITCH (1936 - 2005) Israeli poet Hills of Salt (1978) Tr.Chana Bloch

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All parts of the daffodil are poisonous. An extract of daffodil bulbs, when applied to open wounds, produces staggering, numbness of the whole nervous system, and paralysis of the heart. If you are trapped in a small space with a daffodil, it will give you a headache. There have been several cases of death by daffodil poisoning in which the bulbs were eaten in mistake for onions.

“Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.”

JACK HANDY

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Because they were 'German', dachshunds were stoned to death on the street in Britain during World War 1.

“A dachshund is a half-dog high and a dog-and-a-half long.”

HL MENCKEN

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The word 'chrestomathy' is a useful - if little used - word meaning 'a collection of choice passages'.

“My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.”

HARRY S TRUMAN

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The word 'clinic' comes from kline, the Greek word for 'bed'.

“My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.”

JOEY BISHOP

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The state capital of California is not, as you might perhaps expect, either Los Angeles or San Francisco but Sacramento. The city's Director of Parks and Recreation is called Bob Overstreet and he does indeed work over the street in Room 400, 1231, I Street.

“Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. ”

ROSS MACDONALD (1915-1983)

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There are about 20 Popemobiles round the world today, six of them parked in the Vatican garage.

“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron.”

GEORGE CARLIN (1937-2008)

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The only day in the ten years 1993-2002 when no suicide was recorded in Britain was Comic Relief's Red Nose Day, Friday 16th March 2001.

“My comedy is all borne of tragedy. If there were no more anger and despair in the world I'd be standing in the unemployment line - right next to J Edgar Hoover.”

LENNY BRUCE

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It takes 75,000 crocuses to make a pound of saffron.

“A man who is stingy with saffron is capable of seducing his own grandmother.”

NORMAN DOUGLAS (1868-1952)

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William the Conqueror's body was accidentally broken in half while being shoved into his stone coffin.

“History is the transformation of tumultuous conquerors into silent footnotes.”

PAUL ELDRIDGE

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The word 'climax' is Greek for ladder.

“What we want is a story that starts with an earthquake and builds to a climax.”

SAMUEL GOLDWYN

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Chimpanzees have no whites to their eyes.

“A woman scientist had been working for some time with a chimpanzee teaching it to carry out various tasks such as opening a box and rewarding it with fruit. One day, after a session with the chimpanzee, she came into the coffee room half laughing and half crying, obviously very emotional. Her colleagues, a little alarmed, finally managed to get out of her what had happened. She had decided to leave the laboratory area temporarily, and had undone the bolt on the door - whereupon the chimpanzee had solemnly handed her a stick of celery.”

IAN STEWART & JACK COHEN Figments of Reality (1997)

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People who hide the fact that they practice witchcraft (or, in more formal language, espouse the Wiccan faith) are said to be "in the broom closet".

“When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.”

STEVEN WRIGHT

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Alexander William Kinglake (1809-91), the Victorian historian and travel writer, proposed that all churches should be inscribed with the words Important If True.

“Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.”

LEO DUROCHER Manager, LA Dodgers

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The highest paid director in Britain in 2001 was Sir Christopher Gent, chief executive of Vodafone, who was paid £6.9; million for his labours. This amounts to £20;,000 every day of the year, including weekends.

“What recommends commerce to me is its enterprise and bravery. It does not clasp its hands and pray to Jupiter.”

HENRY DAVID THOREAU (1817-1862)

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The British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was half-American and one sixteenth Iroquois. He was not (as some sources allege) born in a ladies lavatory. He was dyslexic and failed the entrance exam for the Royal Military College, Sandhurst three times. In 1908, he was initiated into an order of Druids.

“When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. ”

SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL (1874-1965)

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There are 3,000 species of centipede. Centipedes have been studied for 100 years but no one has ever found one with 100 legs.

“The centipede was happy, quite, Until a toad in fun Said, "Pray, which leg goes after which?" This worked his mind to such a pitch, He lay distracted in a ditch, Considering how to run.”

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