Mike is the king of douchebags. Literally. He enjoys sucking on Michael Jackson's dead penis and touching his little boyfriends. Mike has been charged of sexual harassment many times before, however, this is not the only reason beautiful girls (or ugly ones for that matter) stay clear of this obese pig. His favorite food is big, fat, sausages (I wonder why), his life is a dreaded suckfest, which is all the time. Although he claims that they don't sit well in his hairy, rotting colon infested with Hitler's earwigs; it doesn't mix well with little boy's cum in his stomach. The "ass-ugly" gene happens to run in his family. His sister is literally the ugliest piece of shit you will ever see in your life. There has been diarrhea prettier than her. No joke. He usually tries to go for blonde hoes, however he once had his chance with a champion, and he lost it because he is a small-penis motherfucker.

Mike: Doesn't anyone like me?!
The world: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A slang term for a member of the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese Army. This term may sometimes be extended to other people that fought against the United States Marines in the Vietnam War.

Carlos Hathcock once killed 7 hamburgers at one time.

The rare occasion that occurs right after you take a dump, where once you leave the restroom, you feel the need to take another dump.

Ever since I had those Jalapenos, I've been having Deja Poo.

A term used to describe something/someone ugly. Can be used to describe a person's face, clothes, or personality.

Jack: Wow, her clothes are major birth control.

Jerry: Yeah so is her face.

a swamp in East Texas full of angry lemmings who can't think for themselves...or choose not to. When enough people are ridiculous, it starts to look normal.

Outsider: So if your friend hates someone, you all hate that person without even knowing them?
Beaumont redneck: Hell Yeah!

Outsider: And if your friend hates someone, you're all willing to break the law to hurt that person?
Beaumont redneck: Hell Yeah!

Outsider: So if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you too?
Beaumont redneck: Yup.
Outsider: Wow! Apparently honesty, kindness and individualism isn't valued a whole lot in Beaumont.
Beaumont redneck: Nope.
Outsider: Well, Happy Muddin', Redneck!

ALWAYS TOKING MARIJUANA
all day every day no matter what u find a way 2 get high only on weed
expression used by graffiti stoners

ATM- always toking marijuana

a true stoner is always toking marijuana
a person who dosnt smoke weed everyday, or does illegal drugs is not a true stoner/pothead

A gorgeous and bubbly asian girl. One who is always in a good mood, laughs a lot, and lifts other's spirits. She has a smile on her face at all times and has what you would call the gift of "asian persuasion". One who has a weird aura (in some sense) around her, you can't explain it but she attracts toward her.

Boy One: I don't know what it is about this girl. I'm really falling for her, everything about her. I just don't know what it is.

Boy Two: Dude I know what you mean, I can't put my finger on it. I guess that's why they call her Christine.

When you completely non-satisfy a woman, usually resulting in premature ejaculation. Often ending with crying or embarrassment if not both.

In American Pie. Jim pulled a gerke when he climbed into bed with Nadia.

A phenomenon that occasionally occurs in social gatherings that devolve into a nostalgia-fest conversation about fecal incidents such as soiling underwear, quality bowel movement and/or alcohol fueled defecating incidents. Inevitably, the conversation becomes a string of awful fish-stories about large bowel movements and creative placement and/or uses of them. The conversation becomes more and more repugnant at a exponential pace. Ultimately, the least attractive person of the coversation wins with the most horrifically grotesque story about his or her colon meat.

"...Last week, at Joe's bachelor party, Eric told us this story about crapping his pants on the way home from work that week. For some reason, the stripper decided she should become part of the conversation and told a story about how she once deuced through her g-string thereby cutting the turd in two. Eric rebutted by regaling us with a tale of a boat trip where he made some starboard diarrhea or something like that. That touched off about an hour of one upmanshit where each had one less appetizing story after the next...."

When you fuck a pussy long enough and hard enough to have the foliage displayed in a plume-like fashion. Then you pour Hot Sauce on the exposed vaginal area and salt it and pour lime juice on it and spray axe on it and set it on fire and pee on it to extinguish it. Then you eat the pussy.

Jack: Ready for the Hot Jimmy?

Meaghan: Fuck no, that shit's gonna fuck me up!

Jack: Alright here we go....

Meaghan: Fuckity! That shit is spicier than a Mexican asshole!

An act performed during a threesome with three gay male participants. The man in the middle is penetrated on both ends, his mobility restricted by the simultaneous thrusts of his partners. This is often performed in a specially built enclosure with two glory holes on opposite walls. The enclosure is also often called a mantrap.

Bob was in a mantrap with John and Mike.

I'm thinking of checking out the new mantrap at the club tonight.

Term for the position of a man urinating into a toilet while having an erection. To make his penis point downward, a man has to spread his legs apart and lean forward, mimicking the way a giraffe spreads its front legs and leans its neck down to drink water.

"I had an erection when I woke up, so I had to do the drinking giraffe to pee."

An otherwise decent state with one big pimple called New York City. NYC is filthy (yes, STILL) and smells like trash. All NYC will do is take your money until you're smart enough to move to Upstate (where, now that electing Democrats is growing up there, will still take your money) or somewhere else in the US. Upstate is beautiful--mountains, the Finger Lakes, Niagara Falls, etc. New York is an okay place to visit, but I'd never, ever want to live there for an instant. Everyone who says it's so awesome a.) Can't spell (seriously, have you read these posts? What the hell are those public schools DOING?!) and b.) Can't base their "best-ness" on anything except mild cultural achievements that will be forgotten in 100 years.

And btw, whoever said there was a city in Upstate akin to Houston obviously doesn't know anything about Houston, the fourth-largest city in the nation...whereas the next largest city in New York is Buffalo at number 69...below Anchorage, AK.

And on the whole, New York City is the loudest place I've ever been and it produces the loudest people I've ever met.

If you want to go to New York, you'd be much better off spending your time in a decent place like Rochester, or hiking in the State Park.

Me: This New York place isn't so bad as long as you stay Upstate. Snow? What the heck is this stuff? Why is every freeway a tollway? And why are the taxes so high to live here? State Income Tax?! What the crap?! God, I miss Texas.

the feeling of remorse felt by the person paying for the date at the end of the date, usually caused by either a) not receiving the expected gratification for which the payment was preferred, b) realizing that the gratification was not worth the invested time, money or other asset.

When the return on investment for a date is lower than expected.

Usually accompanied by quantification of the investment balanced against the total return.

So we walked out of the restaurant, she says thank you and hops into the first cab she sees. Meanwhile, it's too late to call anyone else and I'm out 240 bucks. I got the worst daters remorse, I felt like just dialing a prostitute, but I didn't have enough money.

I spent 4 weeks listening to her talk about her invalid cat, who's so brave for living despite his injury (it's a damn cat!), and finally, after date 6, she finally lets me boink her and she's a total starfish. I had such bad daters remorse, I considered asking her for the $800 I invested in her as a refund. Total bait and switch.

A short name for Michelle

SAMMAI: "Omg! IS THAT MICHE???"
MEGHAN: "No, its just Michelle"

When a pro boxer provides a powerful blow to one's stomach or ovaries effectively ending the life of the child inside of the person.

"Excuse me, Mike Tyson, my ex-girlfriend would like an abortion"

"Well, Robbie a fisticuffs abortion is all the rage. That'll be fifteen clams."

Good round, used in games such as L4D 2.

The round ends and it was a close match, users would type 'gr' to each other to say good round.

This is a conbination of Schmuck and Homo.

Schmuck- useless peice of skin
Homo- as in gay

god you are such a schmomo!

A large hairy freckle that is physically impossible to remove from the face. Produces a pungent stench and grows when in the presence of apples.

"DAMN! Look at the size of that kids shmeakle!"

Filipino gay expression for something not meant fully, somewhat akin to 'just kidding,' 'whatever,' 'i'm just exaggerating'

Your brother is the love of my life, I think I can die for him. Chos! --> from a girl describing a boy she just met