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Time Machine   New window
Date: Friday, 19 Mar 2010 00:00
We never see any time travelers because they all discover it's a huge mistake. This is also why your friend at the lab suddenly looked about a year older recently.
Author: "--"
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Numbers   New window
Date: Wednesday, 17 Mar 2010 00:00
The typical internet user (who wants to share) has an IQ of 147 and a 9-inch penis. Well, better than the reverse, I guess.
Author: "--"
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Porn For Women   New window
Date: Monday, 15 Mar 2010 00:00
Yes, there are a lot of longing looks across the bridge of Galactica first, but that's beside the point!
Author: "--"
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GeoIP   New window
Date: Friday, 12 Mar 2010 00:00
'Meet hot young singles in your mom's basement today'? Man, screw you, GeoIP.
Author: "--"
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Single Ladies   New window
Date: Wednesday, 10 Mar 2010 00:00
Using a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgȗl.
Author: "--"
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Seismograph   New window
Date: Monday, 08 Mar 2010 00:00
The reverse only works if the subject has a nervous twitch.
Author: "--"
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Collatz Conjecture   New window
Date: Friday, 05 Mar 2010 00:00
The Strong Collatz Conjecture states that this holds for any set of obsessively-hand-applied rules.
Author: "--"
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I Am   New window
Date: Wednesday, 03 Mar 2010 00:00
Great, LO-M. Do you speak Bocce? I'm supposed to find one that speaks Bocce.
Author: "--"
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Sex Dice   New window
Date: Monday, 01 Mar 2010 00:00
You roll for initiative, and ... [roll] ... wow, do you ever take it.
Author: "--"
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Joshing   New window
Date: Friday, 26 Feb 2010 00:00
You'll be moved up from 49 of ~7 billion to 31 of ~7 billion.
Author: "--"
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Freedom   New window
Date: Wednesday, 24 Feb 2010 00:00
Sometimes I'm terrified to realize how many options other people have.
Author: "--"
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Devotion to Duty   New window
Date: Monday, 22 Feb 2010 00:00
The weird sense of duty really good sysadmins have can border on the sociopathic, but it's nice to know that it stands between the forces of darkness and your cat blog's servers.
Author: "--"
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Principle of Explosion   New window
Date: Friday, 19 Feb 2010 00:00
You want me to pick up waffle cones? Oh, right, for the wine. One sec, let me just derive your son's credit card number and I'll be on my way.
Author: "--"
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Honor Societies   New window
Date: Wednesday, 17 Feb 2010 00:00
Hey, why do YOU get to be the president of Tautology Clu-- wait, I can guess.
Author: "--"
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Snow Tracking   New window
Date: Monday, 15 Feb 2010 00:00
I suppose that's more accurately a hare dryer.
Author: "--"
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Science Valentine   New window
Date: Friday, 12 Feb 2010 00:00
You don't use science to show that you're right, you use science to become right.
Author: "--"
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Complexion   New window
Date: Wednesday, 10 Feb 2010 00:00
Why do all my attempts at science end with me being punched by Batman? (P.S. benzoyl peroxide soap works great.)
Author: "--"
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Trimester   New window
Date: Monday, 08 Feb 2010 00:00
Also, it's not like anyone actually calls up the Nobel committee to double-check things.
Author: "--"
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You Hang Up First   New window
Date: Friday, 05 Feb 2010 00:00
No, YOU stumble past a series of post-breakup hookups in a daze as you slowly realize what you've lost and how unlikely you are ever to get it back first.
Author: "--"
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Tensile vs. Shear Strength   New window
Date: Wednesday, 03 Feb 2010 00:00
Although really, the damage was done when the party planners took the hole punch to the elevator ribbon to hang up the sign.
Author: "--"
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