I've decided to start using my photography blog as my journal. If you were following my livejournal and you still want to read my randomness every now and then or if you just like seeing part of my work this ----> ostanine.blogspot.com/  is the place to do so. Ok? Ok.

I shot this in April 27, 2006 and I just decided to edit it.
It's a collage of 29 photos...and it's my neighborhood.

I haven't posted in here for ages...not that anyone noticed :P

News...?
I am learning a few things..learning to play the piano is one of them.
It's tough. I've tried it in the past and all it gave me was trauma...hahaha
Another thing I'm learning is to love people with selflessness...that's tough too.
I still think it's possible.
After going through some medical condition I've decided I don't want to eat flesh
no more. Not for now at least. So I'm also learning how to be a vegetarian.
That's another thing I've done for 1 year in the past and it wasn't tough.
I started eating flesh again when I had to test the entire menu of my own
ex-restaurant at pelaginoi...eek.
Now that I mentioned pelaginoi, if you like music in general
you might want to watch that community. During the summer I posted my
usual randomness there much more than I do here. I don't know where I'm
going to be posting more in the future...here?...there?
Also...if anyone is a facebook junkie and wants to add me,
my profile is Konstantino's facebook


uhm...that's it for now.
Bye everyone :)

-K

Kétsarkú Mozgalom by Venetian Snares is what my nervous system would sound like
this past week (if anyone could listen to a nervous system). Last night I ended up
yelling at a dear friend...in the presence of another friend who is just an acquaintance
to him for something unimportant. Unacceptable from my part. I am very sorry.
I wish it was something I could go back and undo.



I asked a friend to join lj and post in pelaginoi because our musical tastes match.
He also posts nice stuff in his personal journal. He goes by the name zmichalis.
Go and say hello if you feel like it. :)

I feel ill today. My throat hurts when I swallow, my body kinda hurts
and I get chills even though it's hot. I have to leave for Piraeus in a
few hours and I'm not looking very forward to that. I'm supposed
to have a yoga lesson too...and then the computer guy is coming
over to fix everything again...and then I'm supposed to sleep and
wake up and come back to Aegina...and just thinking about it all
makes me feel tired. Mister Loukas freaked me out tonight. I was
watching a film while eating dinner and I heard real loud barking
outside...I thought I heard 2 dogs so I was like "oh shit...some dog
came in and Loukas is fighting"...so I went out and he was barking
at a kitten...the kitten was jumping in the air trying to attack his face
and Loukas was trying to catch it in his mouth...I grabbed him by
his fur cause he wasn't wearing a collar and the kitten went hiding
behind the bar. Oh yes...earlier today the kitten was in the kitchen,
on the counter just sitting there looking at me...twice. The first time
it just left and went outside. The second time I tried to get close and
it went hiding somewhere else in the building. I had to tie Loukas to a
pole and try to find it. Couldn't find it so I had Loukas help me...on a
leash of course. We found it. It left. I really hope it doesn't come back
because I don't want to find a dead kitten cut in half nor do I want
Loukas to lose an eye. I think if it wasn't wild I could probably catch it
and try and teach Loukas not to attack it...then again I am very allergic
to cats...so...and I am allergic to dogs too but not as much...and to
olive trees. I mean olive trees? wtf? It's full of olive trees over here.
Plus they are my favourite kind of tree. Ok. Whatever. Goodnight.

Mister Loukas eating pork steak back in March:


PS. No posts in pelaginoi tonight.

...more random thoughts and random news...blah blah blah...

I should fix my sleeping hours. I think they call it a biological clock.
I think mine was either stolen or misplaced and got lost when I was
a kid. So, if I ever make it to be 80 it means that I've spent half my
life sleeping poorly. Another thing I should do is quit smoking at
some point. I think that's the hardest one. I have already fixed my
eating habits. I eat ice cream and sometimes crappy food twice a
week. It used to be almost everyday. I swim at least 5 days a week
but that won't last long cause I can't stay in Aegina all year long..
...unless I swim in a pool in Piraeus which is not a great idea
cause my stupid skin is too sensitive to chlorine and the such...
I learn yoga 3 times a week for about 2 hours per session. I'm also
doing some weird type of weight training 3 or 4 times a week...
although you can't call it weight training cause the weights I use can
probably be lifted by a little child. It's one of my weird ideas of training
where you have no breaks, you do lots of different exercises for each
muscle group (but no legs), and each set is around 16-20 repetitions
(instead of 8 - 10). In-between sets there are no breaks. You either do
other exercises such as ab crunches or you do 2 different exercises back
to back...if that makes any sense. I suppose it's a bit more cardiovascular
that way. Also you have no danger of having your muscles grow too big.
You do look a bit ripped at some point though (if you don't eat crap all
the time). The reason I do all that? Uhm...it makes me feel better in the
end of the day and I suppose it's a bit more healthy for me. It also takes
my mind away from some problems while I do all this...but not always.
Ok, enough about healthy crap.

Now...as time goes by and I learn more about life (whether I want to
or not), I have more trouble understanding some people. Is that nuts
or what? It's strange how we each perceive reality...or maybe it's strange
how each ones mind lives in a slightly (or more than slightly) different reality.
Sometimes I think it's a miracle that we are even able to communicate at all.
Time seems to have different value than it had some years ago and I'm
pretty sure it's going to keep changing as I grow older. I seem to become
more egocentric in the sense that if I don't, I will never get anything done.
I used to worry about everything and everyone...not that I still don't. I mean
I can't help it. It's one of the "flaws" I picked up from both my parents...but the
time I spend doing that seems to change drastically. It all depends on some
factors though...such as my personal evaluation on how much each problem
or each person is worth worrying about. And that is fluid too. I mean it changes
according to how situations and behaviors change...if that makes any sense.
Egotistic? Maybe...I just think it's a survival skill but I may be wrong.

Another thing which troubles me is honesty. I don't think I can live without
being honest and without others being honest to me. And I don't mean
honest such as "you look like shit in that shirt". I mean honest as to how
people feel about each other and honest about what they want or don't want
from each other. Why is that so tough for some people?
I used to hang out with this girl and we used to have really nice conversations
about anything and everything. She once told me that she wants to be completely
honest with everyone. That made me smile inside. Then she said that she might
even have to be "brutally" honest in some situations. I keep thinking about that
conversation and I'm wondering how honesty can be brutal. Is there violence in it?
I'm not being sarcastic. I am having trouble understanding it and I would like to
to understand why some people call honesty "brutal".

I think I blabbered enough for one night.
I'm gonna go blabber a bit more in pelaginoi and post some music too.

A hug for everyone (I could use a hug, damnit!)

so...I was watching this movie tonight and I kept feeling dizzy for some strange reason...
so in the middle of the movie I decided to let my friends know...yeah, 2 friends who were
watching it with me....so one of them says "you want me to check your blood pressure?
I have a thingie in my room..."...so I said "sure...why not? bring the thingie"...so he did...
and my blood pressure was fine...the only thing is that we measured all our pressures..
...yeah...and everyones' pressure was fine...but their pulses were 73 and 75 and mine
was 113...so then my old friend Panic Attack decided to join us...yeah...now that's
what I call fun...truth is I kinda knew it was gonna pay me a visit for a couple of days now.
It was the old trick "let's get something psychosomatic to deal with so we won't have to
deal with other feelings or thoughts which are kinda harsh"...yeah...eez cool, no?
So they insisted that we stop the movie and start talking about my "problem".
Then one of my friends went to bed and I stayed with the other one. I was standing up
the whole time. That's a control freak thing in case you didn't know. My friend had some
alcohol and tried to persuade me to have some too in order to calm down a bit...but control
freaks don't listen to that. Alcohol might mean even less control over what's happening to the
body...as if I had any control without the alcohol..yeah...intelligence and instinct don't always
fit in one room...so...after a few hours the symptoms got a bit tired and started to leave...now
it's still here but for the moment it's weak enough to let me type all of this crap and try to
"exorcise" it...yeah...and the question is "why am I typing this in lj and not in Word or something
where I can keep it for myself?"...
...uhm...maybe so you can feel better about yourselves that you're not having a panic attack?
maybe so you can leave comments such as "take some drugs you jerk and stop having them"?..
...or "you think you have a problem? let me tell you about my aunt who had a stroke last week"?
...or "shut up dude and post some pictures or something"?...or "men who get panic attacks in their
late 30's are so hot...just like hair found in food"?....I don't know....ok? ok!

In other news I brought an old unfinished painting from my house in Piraeus after I had the canvas
repaired (yeah...I got pissed off one day and threw some object and it hit the canvas and ripped it in
2 places...good job, knucklehead...) in order to finish it and give it to a dear friend of mine. I wanted
to give that painting to her since she first saw it because she seemed to love it even more than I did.
I brought my new paints too...I just hope that I haven't completely forgotten how to paint...we'll see.

I have booked 2 shoots which I'm really looking forward to. One is at the end of August and the other
is mid September. Both will happen in Aegina. I just hope to find someone to shoot before that. I want
to shoot some nude work over here. Any local volunteers?....yeah right!...pffft....

I have ordered the fabrics for my turban experiments...I wonder when they will arive...

Still haven't fixed my b&w; chemicals...I have some here from last year but they are not brand new
so I am afraid that they might be expired by now...they don't have an expiration date on them...
weird, no? And I forgot to bring my...uhm....what do you call that black bag where you put your arms
in it and load your films in the canisters instead of using a darkroom?...yeah...that bag...I forgot
to bring it from Piraeus...I'll try and remember it on Wednesday...and the new chemicals.

...going to pelaginoi to post 2 pics and some music...

Φιλιά

ok....things on my mind and what I'm up to...

I go back to Piraeus in the morning and I'm not very thrilled about it...
I mean...look at that picture and try and think "summer"....doesn't work,
does it now?




ok...if you are not convinced try and compare it with this picture...




does it work now?? where would you rather be, ey??
Yes I'm spoiled and part of it is my fault etc. etc. etc.

So I started getting into yoga...no, not because I'm spoiled. More
like because I needed to do something physical that's more fit for
my old fart age. At least that's what I thought before I had my first
lesson which was..uhm...a month ago? 2 months ago? Now after
a few lessons I feel that if I keep doing it for like...50 years, I might
get good at it and be able to touch my toes...well at least I lost some
of the extra weight I had gained...now I can fit into my old pants again
...sometimes Ι have to wear a belt too. Speaking of belts I ordered
one with a Bruce Lee buckle at my sister's cafe-bar-restaurant-store
-bookstore-etc-place. Yeah...cause in case you didn't know, Bruce Lee
was cool...so I automatically steal some of his coolness...I am also swimming
again almost every day...so yeah...I act like I am all athletic and stuff...

I still haven't prepared my chemicals for developing b&w; film...and I should.
I have been planning on building a darkroom so I can make prints too...and
be real proud of myself...and smug...and a snob...cause that would make
the Bruce Lee belt buckle stand out more...and then I have to build something
else which is top secret for the moment...and I have to buy some fabric tomorrow
because I have to learn how to wear a turban because it's something I promised
someone...yes...and I have to get 2 computers fixed...and I have to get a digital
camera cleaned by a pro because I get some stupid stains in the pictures no
matter how much I clean the mirror...and I have to leave something in Piraeus for
someone to pick up...an unexpected visitor who left that "something" here in
Aegina...no, nothing illegal...and I have to have 2 snapshots printed of a bartender
-girl I see everytime I have lunch at the office cause she keeps asking me for them..
..and I am not sleepy and I have to be up in 3 hours...and I'm not taking Loukas with
me to Piraeus because it's probably just tiring for him and he does love the island...
that doesn't mean that I won't be worried as hell until I see him again...I would be such
a stupidly overprotective father...

anyway...enough for now cause I have to get some shut eye (hopefully)...
For the song/music/video of the day go to pelaginoi, as you
should already know..

Φιλιά

-Κωνσταντίνος

I didn't sleep last night...in fact I didn't even try to lie in my bed...yup...
...now...I still don't understand why you English speaking people use
the exact same verb (lie) for 2 completely different actions. Is it too
late to add a new word to the English vocabulary? If not please let me
know cause I've thought of some nice ones...like...kdevbdk....or....ouoiuiou...?

I was gonna post a video here but I've been posting new stuff every day
in pelaginoi...kind of an OCD thingie...yup.
So go there and look at some other stuff...like the rest of this post...ok? ok.
and you can watch the community as well...and you might even like it...
and you might even listen to some stuff you never listened to before
because you are young and perverted. ..and you might want to post
a comment so I will know someone reads this crap and that way I can
feel like I'm important or something...because I heard it's a good thing
to feel important these days.

...and the mosquitos are having a feast on me tonight :)

Oh! and if you want to see some of my random photography you can
visit my new blog ----> frames of nine...and you can even subscribe to it
in a feed or by email...yes...very geeky...I figured one can never have enough
useless profiles on the internet.

I just realized it's not very smart to post about my other pages on a Saturday
cause most of you are online Monday through Friday, 9 to 5...you busy people you...

Φιλιά

Stolen from aneedynerd

So...I am going to Aegina for Easter (yeah...our Easter is on a different date. Our Jesus was a bit late
this year...or something...I don't know...ask the priests...they know everything). I haven't been
there for Easter since...2002? I thought of facing my allergies face to face...trees, flowers,
cats...the works. Anyways. I have started shooting photos of people again, portraits, nudes, and
I plan on doing that until...until I stop feeling like it again...yeah...that's it. That's the plan...yeah...*nods*

Here are a couple of photos I shot of Cecilia:









She's one of the coolest people I ever met. You can find prettier photos of her shot by others
HERE and if you are in MM you can find her HERE

I'm still planning on doing a book or two sometime before the end of this century.
I still haven't updated my website...I tried and tried...I need someone else to do that...
someone who can group more than 2 photos together and not get ill...and then not let
me look at what they've done. I suppose I'll have the exact same problem when I try to
put a photography book together...and I don't even know if I need a website...I quit
trying to be a professional photographer...so I don't get hired...so what's the use? (rhetorical question)
I also deleted the 2 photos I had in my flickr account. They had 1 view each. Now they don't.
Come to think of it...why do I need to publish a book...?..oh yeah...so I can finally write about myself in
the third person in my internet profiles...and put my negatives in it so they turn flat faster...and have
people tell me how they would have done it differently...and find a new big plan to stress about...
There you go...4 very important reasons.

Sleep was never my thing...I always felt that it was a waste of time..
...lately things are getting worse. I fall asleep in my chair...I wake up
and I feel like I had been sleeping for hours...I go to bed at 4...or 5..
..or 6....or 7 in the morning and then it takes me at least half an hour
to fall asleep...then if I wake up later than 11am I get frustrated because
I have to do things faster...I went to bed 50 minutes ago and tried to force
myself to sleep...I solved a bunch of crossword puzzles...then my ears
started ringing again. So I started thinking of doctors and medical tests
and head scans and all of that scary shit. I got up got dressed and I'm
back at my chair writing this crap like it would make all of it go away.
Fuck it. Sleep doesn't want me? I don't want it either.
Yes, I know that sleep always wins in the end but I can't just lie still and
wait for it to happen. I feel like I had lots of coffee and I don't even drink
coffee even though I like the taste of it. It's 7. Soon I'll take lukachiko
for a walk at the beach. Then I have to continue the rest of the day as if I had
slept at night.I suppose I have to do something about all this...maybe
exercise more...work more...get a lobotomy...why the fuck am I so restless??
I can't remember the last time I let myself enjoy a holiday...I think it was
the 80's...speaking of the 80's, here is something from back then
just so you'll forget what you just read...or something...I don't know..
..leave me alone...I don't know what I'm talking about...

Fun Boy Three

I just created a community...pelaginoi...
Just a silly thing like most things I tend to do.
It probably doesn't interest anyone besides meself but
feel free to join if you like...you can always un-join.
ok?....ok!!

uhm...it will be mostly photos of the place and music videos
(mostly jazz, retro, etc...)....ok?....ok!!

Oh! Also...after reading the profile information, any
questions/suggestions you might have might help me
make the info a bit more friendly...since no one
probably knows what I'm babbling about...ok?....ok!!

bye :)

I used to paint a few years ago and I want to start again.
I used liquitex medium viscosity acrylics and was very satisfied with the results.
Then I couldn't find them anymore (I live in Greece) so I tried what was supposed to be
the best choices over here...Golden acrylics and Lascaux acrylics. I didn't like their
colours though. I found some internet dealers who sell liquitex (medium viscosity) paints but
the paints come in tubes or small canisters. I paint on BIG canvases so the 2oz paints are not
very useful to me especially when I have to order them from another country. I mean if I run
out of a colour in the middle of working on a painting I will have to wait for a few weeks
probably until I can continue working. The only place I found with bigger canisters was
http://pearlpaint.com/
I opened an account there, took me some time to complete my huge order...then they sent me a form I had to fill and FAX(???) back to them so that they can confirm...fax number wasn't working...took a few emails back and forth until they told me that I can just email them the form...so I did...they said "thank you"...today I receive an email from them:

"DEAR KONSTANTINOS,
Your order has been canceled due to unavailable stock. Please note that
no charge has been applied to your account. We're sorry for any
inconvenience this may have caused."

...that's funny...I ordered almost $800 worth of paints from them...was it all "unavailable stock"...
...I wonder...

Anyways...does anybody know of any internet store that sells liquitex medium viscosity BIG canisters (8oz or 200ml and higher) worldwide?
If not, does anyone know of any fluid acrylics that are better than Golden or Lascaux when it comes to colour quality and where I can get them from???

No medical tests yet. Maybe next month, maybe never.
Ears are ringing constantly. Sometimes I get vertigo.
When I work I kinda forget about it. No more talk about
this shit. Enough...enough...
In Aegina with kumimonster.
Brought a whole bunch of cameras with me.
Still haven't developed black and whites.
Some architects are worthless...parasites...
...waiting for construction to end so I can move
to what used to be a club a few years ago...a club
which wasn't meant to succeed...wrong location...
...beautiful location but wrong...
Haven't gone swimming in the sea yet.
No goggles. Lost my old ones and each new one I tried
hurts the bridge of my nose...fuckin' Pinocchio...without
goggles I end up swimming in a circular motion...probably
end up with a sea urchin stuck to the tip of my nose...
...fuckin' Pinocchio (again)....
My deviantArt subscription expired...and I don't want to
renew it...I want to add more work on my website instead...
Here's a photo I shot this afternoon (a photo of the ex-club):



Zmooches.

.
.
.
.
...and kumi is jazz





model: kumimonster
photographer: ostanine aka The Pessimist.




--------------------------

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
-James Branch Cabell-

Thursday I have to go to the police station hoping they will approve a permit, Friday to the hospital for a test which might be followed by another test which might be followed by other nasty shit. I'm supposed to think I'm lucky cause things could be worse. Yeah right...fuck that shit...they could be better too. :P

Goodnight folks.

My first attempt in stereoscopic photography. A big big THANK YOU to sokkmonkey
for helping me realize that there actually is a way to display a stereoscopic image on a
computer screen without having to use 3D glasses in order to see the effect...I've owned such
a camera for over a year and never used it before just because I believed I wouldn't be able to
post any of them online...and yes I do sound like a Greek geek...

This is kumimonster and stevedietgoedde, captured by a stereo graphic camera,
while landing at the temple of Aphaia,in Aegina, Greece, direct via teleport from starship κουρκούδιαλος.

Enjoy:





kumimonster will be soon posting some of her own stereoscopic images...as a photographer!!