Another Christmas is kaput, and I’ve barely recovered. It was the first time in years that I’d finished the Advent Calendar before Christmas Eve, and boy, I didn’t waste it. It’s probably lame to correlate a carefree Christmas with a three day bender, but that’s just what Dr. Claus ordered. Somewhere in the middle [...]

Well, it’s Christmas Eve! Officially! Plooky plockily! I still need to buy a few presents, I still need to shave for the first time since 1937, and I still need to stuff 50 mushrooms with breadcrumbs, garlic, oil and my top secret ingredient. I am not ready. But, I have [...]

Well, the Advent Calendar has kept me too busy to really write much else, so to the more than half of you who don’t read it: Haha, you’re fucked. We got a lot of snow today, which is nice, because this has been one whirlwind of a holiday season that I’ve barely had a chance to [...]

It was supposed to be so innocent — a simple evening run to Toys “R” Us for batteries and a few other needed bits. The place was expectedly mobbed, but I managed to sneak in and out without a long wait, as the second I got on line, a bunch of registers opened up [...]

Marred by an unexpectedly busy work schedule and the yearly epic struggle to make my Advent Calendar deadlines, I haven’t been doing nearly enough “normal blogs.” This has to change, because Christmas is a time for sentences and paragraphs. I hope you’re all having a terrific season so far. Mine has been interesting in [...]

I’ve posted nearly a billion pictures since starting X-Entertainment, and during that time, I’ve experimented with many different backgrounds. So, mental note: Never use shiny, reflective wrapping paper as a photo background ever again. Unsightly glare aside, I’m pleased to announce the revival of a modern Christmas classic: All-new holiday edition Cheetos! I’ve been [...]

Happy SNT. Spending the evening stringing up lights where no lights should be, and ordering my clan of 400 nieces and nephews whatever nonsensical shit was most recently added to their wishlists. Pennsylvania Dutch eggnog, too. You?

To prove to naysayers that I’m still terminally with it, I’m now on Twitter. I say nothing of any interest there, and mainly use it to plug articles you’ve already read, but if you’re interested…yeeeaaah. Got a new Christmassy survey: In the comments, talk about your weird holiday traditions. Everyone strings up lights. Everyone decorates [...]

Surely I’m not the only one who spends the holiday season pilfering through — but never ordering from — the Harry and David catalog? I’m guessing the company is best known for its “fruit of the month” deals, but during Christmastime, anyone on their mailing list is certain to receive no less than 500 glossy catalogs [...]

Over the ground, there’s a mantle of white. Something something. Merry Christmas. Indeed, X-E’s 2009 Christmas Season has begun! Is it wrong that I’m already depressed that it’ll be over in 25 days? We’ve got our radio tuned to the all-Christmas station, and hints of gaudy, snowy baubles peppering the apartment like a growing [...]

Hi guys — just dropping in quickly to scream HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Literally. Picture me screaming it. As you can see, the blog has been redressed for the holidays. As soon as the smoke settles and I sleep off the wine, it’ll be time for the reddest, greenest celebration on the entire [...]

Is it Christmas yet? Halloween decorations down by the end of the weekend. Then, happiness!

It’s Halloween! I challenge you to make the most of it! Go trick-or-treating! Go trunk-or-treating! Bob for apples! Watch the Elm Street series in its entirety! Sacrifice owls! The weather here is perfect: Gloomy, grey and inoffensively chilly. I haven’t checked the forecast, but judging by the wind and [...]

HALLOWEEN IS HERE! Well, almost. Technically, it’s just Mischief Night and an excuse to drink skunked Heineken while Tales From The Darkside spins softly in my DVD player. But we’re so close to Halloween, you can taste it. Actually, by the time most of you read this, it will be Halloween. And [...]

Great Pumpkin was on tonight, and for the first time in about ten years, I missed it. Well, I caught enough to notice that ABC took some liberties and made Charlie Brown do some heavy lifting promo work during the commercial breaks — wtf was that all about? Missed all the good parts, [...]

Wow, what a score! We visited our local “Halloween City” last night, which is sort of like a lower-rent Spirit in a much vaster space. Taking the place of a former Circuit City, it was an enormous warehouse full of costumes, decorations and totally random, awesome shit. Unlike the Spirit stores, where everything is [...]

I haven’t posted anything for a week, and in that time, the retail world has all but completely moved away from Halloween and onto Christmas. Not unexpected, but still infuriating. I like Christmastime a thousand times more than Halloween, but I don’t want to see it in October. In many stores, the Halloween sections [...]

Sorry for the lack of updates for the past few days — been busy with things that are much less fun than Halloween Cheetos and animatronic slashers. To keep things lively between now and the next post (which will be tomorrow, even if it kills me), how about a quicky spooky survey? For you commenters: [...]

We’re supposed to be getting some kind of crazy, legendarily destructive storm tonight. I’ll settle for regular rain and thunder, but I’m hoping for worse. Nothing screams Halloween like lightning and power outages. And exposed viscera. Got another Halloween cocktail to tell you about — the Tootsie Roll Martini! I don’t know [...]

Very sad to hear that Cap’n Lou Albano died. Some of will remember Albano as the insane pro-wrestling manager with rubber bands all over his face, and others for his stint as you-know-who on The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. In remembrance, here’s an old article I wrote about SMBSS. Incredibly, it’s [...]