Thanks for all the comments on the cruise idea everyone, it’s incredibly helpful to be able to get such direct feedback from such a large group of people. I’m still working on this, trying to figure out the best way to make it happen, so please understand that this was just one possibility. It may end up being a different boat, destination, time of year, price, etc., but this seemed like a decent place to start taking everyone’s temperature. Obviously I can’t pick a location that works for everybody. I hear you that cost is a factor and I’m not surprised – that’s a hefty chunk of change. We’re trying to find the right balance between high awesomeness and low cost, and that means dealing with a lot of details and possibilities. Stay tuned. Remember this is all HYPOTHETICAL.

In the meantime, I wanted to mention a couple other shows that just got set up. We added Pittsburgh in December:

Saturday December 5 at 8 PM
Rex Theater (Pittsburgh, PA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/3e75SA

And already plans are being made for 2010 (finally, Florida):

Thursday January 14 at 7 PM
The Social (Orlando, FL) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/3Teu0M
No service charge if you buy at the box office M, W, F: (407) 246-1419
$1 service charge if you buy at Park Avenue CDs: www.parkavecds.com

Friday January 15 at 8 PM
Nova 535 (St. Petersburg, FL) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/2Zr956

Saturday January 16 at 8 PM
Variety Playhouse (Atlanta, GA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/1Wfbbo
$2.25 service charge if you buy through the Variety Playhouse Ticket Club: bit.ly/1Wfbbo
No service charge if you buy with cash at the box office ($1 for credit cards): www.variety-playhouse.com/tickets.html

Friday January 22 at 9 PM
Great American Music Hall (San Francisco, CA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/3uE2HO
$1 service charge when you buy at venue box office: www.gamh.com/tickets/

Saturday January 23 at 9 PM
Great American Music Hall (San Francisco, CA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/2PAq8E
$1 service charge when you buy at venue box office: www.gamh.com/tickets/

Friday February 5 at 8 PM
Antone’s (Austin, TX) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/mhGdL

Let’s just say that sometime Summerish 2010 there was a cruise. It lasted a week, it left from Seattle and went to Alaska and back. The first four days featured all sorts of activities and performances involving Jonathan Coulton and his circle of famous entertainment powerhouse friends – kind of a Jonathan Coulton and friends convention. And then lets say the official activities ended and there were another three days of just cruise. And let’s say that it cost around $1300-1500 depending on how nice a room you wanted. What would you say to that?

Three notes:

First I must say thank you to They Might Be Giants and especially our Chicago audience for letting us do our Flood show at Park West. I think it went very well – I know that Paul and Storm and I certainly had a blast, and it even felt kind of important or historic or something by the time we were done. Many have asked about us making a recording for sale, and currently we don’t have any plans to do this, it feels better as a special live thing. But you know, never say never…

Second, I often get complaints about Ticketmaster service charges. You should know that I also find them inappropriately high, and that I and my booking agent try to avoid them when possible, but ultimately it’s not up to us. It really comes down to the venues and/or promoters, and sometimes we don’t have a lot of choice in what venue we book in a particular town. BUT: when we can, we try to get the venue to sell tickets at their box office for a smaller service charge (ideally, zero). I’ve indicated where that’s the case here and on my Shows page, so read carefully if you want to save a few bucks.

Third, the UK/Ireland trip is mostly together now, we’ve even ordered the new UK/Ireland tour shirt, which we’ll reveal later. There are two dates that refuse to resolve themselves: The Bongo Club in Edinburgh on Nov 9, and Oran Mor in Glasgow on Nov 11. There seems to be some sort of mixup with the promoter, I’m not sure exactly what the problem is. We’re doing our best to resolve it, and I’m pretty sure those two dates are going to happen, but don’t hold me to it.

———————————————-
JoCo wraps up the Fall in the midwest:
———————————————-

Friday October 23 at 7 PM
Beachland Ballroom (Cleveland, OH) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/nqelmy
NO SERVICE CHARGE if you buy with cash at the box office: (216) 383-1124.

Sunday October 25 at 8 PM
Majestic Theater (Madison, WI) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/yjuyq6l

Monday October 26 at 7.30 PM
Guthrie Theater (Minneapolis, MN) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/yexom7c

————————————
JoCo Visits the UK and Ireland:
————————————

Friday November 6 at 8 PM
Academy 2 (Dublin, IE) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ykmyhjo

Sunday November 8 at 7 PM
The Bongo Club (Edinburgh, UK) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/2uDl1d

Tuesday November 10 at 7 PM
Classic Grand (Glasgow, UK) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/4Ak6WK

Thursday November 12 at 7.30 PM
Manchester Academy 3 (Manchester, UK) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/y8ptots

Friday November 13 at 7 PM
Union Chapel (London, UK) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/yhtgmf4

Sunday November 15 at 8 PM
The Tunnels Bristol (Bristol, UK) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/34moxs

—————————
And still there is more:
—————————

Thursday December 3 at 7 PM
World Café Live (Philadelphia, PA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ndjahp

Friday December 4 at 8 PM
Rams Head Tavern (Annapolis, MD) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/n3jj83
ONLY $2 SERVICE CHARGE if you buy tickets at the box office: (410)-244-1131.

Saturday December 5 at 8 PM
Rex Theater (Pittsburgh, PA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/3e75SA

Wednesday December 9 at 7 PM
Music Hall of Williamsburg (Brooklyn, NY) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/yk2jxge
NO SERVICE CHARGE if you buy tickets at the Mercury Lounge box office: (212) 260-4700.

And that is the truth.

At our show in Ann Arbor last night we tried out a few Flood songs – mostly unrehearsed except for a quick run through at sound check. I think they went pretty well, and I’m feeling optimistic about our chances of not only getting all the way through it, but actually doing some interesting things with a few of the songs. Paul and Storm and I have been spending the week practicing individually and working out who’s going to do what, but last night was our first time playing stuff all together in the same place. There is electric bass guitar, there is trumpet, there is triangle, there is melodica, there is harmonica, THERE IS STILL NO ACCORDION.

We’re on our way to Chicago right now, and we’ve got a rehearsal space reserved for a few hours tonight, so by the time we hit Park West tomorrow night we will be totally sick of Flood, which means we’ll be ready to play it for you. It’s going to be a lot of fun.

In the meantime, here’s John Flansburgh being interviewed about interviews by the AV Club. He’s right.

As many have pointed out to me (often concluding with the phrase “Noooooooooo!”), my show in Chicago on the 10th is competing directly with a They Might Be Giants show at the Vic Theater. Also it is a Flood show, which is the worst possible thing it could be vis a vis making it a difficult decision for those of you who are fans of both of us. Flood is the record that made my head explode way back when, they are a huge influence on me, and I wish I could go see this show. I believe there are still tickets available. It’s Flood people, seriously.

But as I was pondering this cruel turn of fate, it came to me: I should also do a Flood show. Unbelievably, at least a few people have bought tickets to see my little show at Park West (tickets also still available, ha ha, just saying), so apparently I have to do some kind of performance. I’ve strategized with Paul and Storm about it, and we’ve decided that by stealing a little time from each of our sets (and by learning to “play our instruments”), we can probably make it happen. Many of you have heard our fantastic cover of “Birdhouse in Your Soul” so really we just have to do that 18 more times. And it still leaves plenty of time for us to do our own stuff, so those of you who bought tickets to our show because you hate They Might Be Giants will still be entertained.

THERE WILL BE NO ACCORDION.

If you live in Ann Arbor and are coming to see us at the Ark on the 8th, the answer is no, we will absolutely not be ready to do the same thing for you. But maybe we can sneak in a song or two if we’re feeling frisky. Turns out tickets there? Also still available…

As many of you noticed, there was a gap in that last show schedule that simply begged for a show in Madison. It’s happening – Sunday the 25th we’ll be at the Majestic! Tickets and more details soon…

But first, thanks to Denver and St. Louis. I took no photos, I left no footprints, but I had a great bunch of shows last weekend. Many thanks to everyone who came out. It was my first non-PAX road trip since June, so I was expecting to be pretty rusty, but I actually felt pretty competent much of the time. Go figure.

A lot of people have been asking and I can now confirm that I’ll be back in the UK for a while in November (and Paul and Storm will be with me). We’re still working on the final details, but it’s coming together nicely. We’ll be there about a week and a half and we expect to hit Dublin, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Manchester, London, and Bristol. In fact, Manchester and London are already on sale if you’d like to get a head start. I’ll post more details as soon as I know them myself.

Yes, this does mean no Birmingham and no Nottingham this time around, just can’t get everywhere we’d like to get in this one trip. I know this is going to make it hard or impossible for some people to see a show, and I’m sorry about that, but WE’RE ONLY ONE MAN! If anyone knows how to build a robot that looks and acts and sings just like me, please get in touch. Or if anyone has the technology to smush the cities closer together, that would help as well.

Northampton, New Haven and Boston are coming up this weekend. I hope you are ready.

Summer’s over, and I am back to work (if you can call this working). Just look at this series of incredible shows, each of them potentially the Second Best Concert Ever.

Thursday September 17 at 8PM
The Soiled Dove Underground (Denver, CO) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/4084Ki

Friday September 18 at 9PM
The Soiled Dove Underground (Denver, CO) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/rnKTz

Saturday September 19 at 8 PM
Off Broadway (St. Louis, MO) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ng4aj3

Thursday September 24 at 7PM
Iron Horse Music Hall (Northampton, MA) with Paul and S torm
Tickets: bit.ly/O1Gw5

Friday September 25 at 7 PM
Toad’s Place (New Haven, CT) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/1jYq44

Saturday September 26 at 9PM
The Paradise (Boston, MA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/m6jjy8

Thursday October 8 at 8 PM
The Ark (Ann Arbor, MI) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/lwbzn2

Saturday October 10 at 8PM
Park West (Chicago, IL) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/mrlck5

Friday October 23 at 7PM
Beachland Ballroom (Cleveland, OH) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/nqelmy

Sunday October 25 at 8PM
Majestic Theater (Madison, WI) with Paul and Storm
Tickets on sale soon

Monday October 26 at 7:30PM
Guthrie Theater (Minneapolis, MN) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: bit.ly/dx5Mw

Thursday December 3 at 7PM
World Café Live (Philadelphia, PA) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/ndjahp

Friday December 4 at 8PM
Rams Head Tavern (Annapolis, MD) with Paul and Storm
Tickets: tinyurl.com/n3jj83

And now I guess technically we’re into Winter, so I’ll stop. But there’s more coming, there’s always more…

Where to begin?

I suppose I’ll start with this TERRIBLE injury that I received while putting my bags into the trunk of a cab on my way to the airport. A lot of musicians would have stopped right here; I soldiered on (please note: I am not talking about the wedding ring, that injury was sustained years ago ZING!).

Arrived in Seattle Thursday night and immediately felt the “Seattle Smoothies,” which is a term I have just invented that describes the feeling of well-being that settles on me the moment I breathe the delicious air of that charming city. I don’t have a photo of this. Dined with the fine people of Harmonix, plus Wil Wheaton, plus Paul and Storm, plus MC Frontalot. Also enjoyed beers with various Guild and Legend of Neil folks. Yes, I am dropping names, it’s the only way I can demonstrate to you how I roll. When I returned to the hotel, this apple was on the floor (I am just reporting the facts):

Up early to set up the booth and sound check with Frontalot. See here the empty but enormous concert cave:

And also Wil Wheaton “practicing” with Frontalot:

Spent the day a-boothin’ and got to meet many fans, costumed and otherwise. Saw a lot of dressed up babies this year, which is always hilarious. Received two half-pony-half-monkey-monster gifts, was pleased:

Also sold quite a few of this new flash drive I have: it’s 2 Gigs, contains 320K MP3s of all my music plus source tracks for everything on JoCo Looks Back, also album artwork, AND PLUS ALSO comes with a DVD. This incredible deal will also be available at future shows, I’m just saying. The image on the flash drive is by Len and also appears on my guitar picks, due to my narcissism. And yes, I probably should have rotated this image before I exported it:

Did a panel with all the other PAX musicians, who all seemed smarter and funnier than me. Played “Diseases of Yore” with Frontalot at his Friday night show, talked Paul and Storm into singing harmonies with me (click the play button that’s currently in the top right corner of Frontalot’s site if you’d like to hear it and then go buy Front’s fantastic record). Went to sleep. No partying for poor, old, tired JoCo.

Similar things happened on Saturday, including a very fast lunch of sandwiches with actual rock stars John Roderick and Jason Finn (again, do you see how I roll?). Did a panel with Harmonix on the subject of the very exciting Rock Band Network, in which we pushed an authored version of The Future Soon into an Xbox and then played it right there in front of everyone with the help of some audience members. As you can see, I am not very good at playing Rock Band. It was also announced that another PAX Pack is coming to Rock Band next week, featuring me (”Re: Your Brains”), Frontalot and Paul and Storm. “The Future Soon” is going up on the Rock Band Network obviously, and I’m working on putting a lot more stuff in there right now. In case you missed that, “Re: Your Brains” will be in Rock Band next week. Brains!

And then of course, late at night, the big show. Wil Wheaton introduced Paul and Storm by talking about me for 10 minutes. Paul and Storm did their usual kick-ass job of warming up the crowd, then setting them on fire and burning them up until only ashes remain. I staggered on at 12:45 in the freaking morning to do my little show. I was joined by Paul and Storm and our pal Molly for a few songs, including a version of “My Monkey” where we replaced those words with “Wil Wheaton” to extremely comedic effect. Participated in group hug with all parties. Collapsed in a heap.

Sunday morning hopped a plane home, ate a lunch/dinner combo meal out of a tube, watched as the ratio of food to garbage in my Luxe Snack Box (TM) descended quickly to almost zero. This is ALSO how I roll.

Thanks to everyone who came to the concert, visited the booth, bought me a beer, helped me sell merch, joined me on stage, or stuffed my dinner into a tube. Special thanks to all the people who work very hard to make PAX such an incredible event, extra-especially the very generous and often be-kilted Enforcers.

You rule Seattle, I’ll see you soon.

Well OK, not dead, that’s overstating it. As you know, I’ve had an assistant for a while, much to my surprise and amusement. Thus far I’ve referred to this assistant only as Scarface, both to protect this person’s identity, and because it is hilarious. But mostly because it is hilarious. In a move that I applaud with loud isolated claps (the stirring, earnest, emotional kind, not the sarcastic kind) Scarface has moved on from Coulton Industries and taken a real job with a real company. And so I can now reveal that Scarface’s name was actually Meaghan.

I was going to write a fantastic post about Meaghan and our time working together and my extreme delight at seeing her take on the challenge of a brand new thing, but I see that she has beaten me to it with a post of her own that has made me all misty. It’s true, Meaghan now works for Tumblr, but she is also on the Twitter and on the Tumblr as a very talented writer and observer of things funny and sad.

Much as I would have liked to, I never intended to keep her prisoner here at my secret mountainous island lair forever. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about living a life it’s that you need to keep moving, and if there’s another thing it’s that you really should quit your job every once in a while and take on something new, maybe even something that seems crazy and scares the hell out of you. So I wish her well, and I thank her for her time of servitude. She was a great assistant, but I’m sure that she will be an even better former assistant.

But for all of us here at Coulton Industries the work goes on. There is a new Scarface, as there always will be, because it is my way. I’m not going to tell you anything about this person either, at least not until they break my heart and leave me alone in this godforsaken place (kidding Meaghan! I kid!).

That’s all for now. I’m painfully aware that the Summer is ending, and I got lots of stuff cooking that I hope to share with all of you soon.

The fine folks over at Harmonix are launching something called the Rock Band Network, which will allow independent musicians to create and sell songs in the game. The answer is yes, I am very interested in putting more of my stuff in there, and I’m working on making it happen right now. It’s all brand new, so nobody knows how long it takes, how much it costs, how many will sell, etc. For my part, I’d like to get a sense of what you all are interested in getting in the game.

Will you take this poll? You can and should vote for more than one, and you can write in a song if it’s not already on this list that I have very scientifically derived just now.

UPDATE: So many great ideas, it’s hard to pick just one six-word memoir. I think I should have six six-word memoirs, that should be a thing. There is one that has become my favorite because it makes me laugh out loud, and it also captures a little bit of that “I am unable or unwilling to be a grown-up and have a real job” feeling. “For sale: adult shoes, never worn.” It’s a reference to Hemingway’s six-word story, “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” (which may or may not be real but is famous anyway). It was submitted by Tim Canny, who, if he will email me a mailing address, will receive a free DVD from me. Thanks everyone for thinking on it, this was a lot of fun.
———————————————————

The coffee shop I frequent here in Brooklyn is filled with lots of other people who are, like me, using it as an office. I can’t imagine the work that everyone else is doing is quite as important as my own work, which is mostly avoiding the OTHER work that I have to do, but they all seem pretty busy. There is one person in particular who is always there before I arrive and after I leave, and who does not seem to be merely reloading Twitter every couple of minutes. In fact he is working on his media empire: you may know it as SmithMag, and that might be because you have heard of the Six Word Memoir. This fellow and I – let’s call him “Larry Smith” – Larry Smith and I were talking about the Six Word Memoir and he suggested I contribute one for his book about same. Let me tell you, it’s hard. Just take a look at the ones that people have submitted, some of them are sort of brilliant. In its perfect form, it’s kind of like the punchline of a joke, where something very small and specific suddenly expands in your mind to sum up a life story. OK, now do that for your own life. Actually, stop, do it for mine instead.

I asked Twitter to help me out on this and got some great responses. From a quick scan, here are some of my favorites:

@meaghano: Sorry didn’t get to this sooner.
@awryone: Should have left that pimple alone.
@mehuman: Already peaked with song from portal.
@petersagal: Vanished after failing as IT professional.
@aaronfever: I need someone to work merchandise.
@colleenky: Should not be trusted with cats.
@paulandstorm: Paul and Storm just won’t leave. (Note how even MY six word memoir is somehow ABOUT THEM.)
@unmodisch: Internet pioneer, domesticated money-pooping cow.
also @paulandstorm: Dear Internet: thanks for…well, everything.
@marmotry: Liked cold baths with Angela Lansbury.
also @unmodisch: Phase one: music. Phase three: profit!
@scottknaster: Couldn’t write own six word memoir.

And they continue to trickle in. Boy do I love the hive mind! Since I don’t want the blog readers who are not on Twitter to miss out on the fun, I’ll take suggestions here in the comments as well. A couple of things I didn’t know until I started getting suggestions: I probably will avoid using my own lyrics for this, and ideally this will not be about me being dead. Though it’s only six words, it would be nice to somehow capture the collaborative nature of my rise to online semi-celebrity, by which I mean that while I owe the internet plenty already, it would be fun and appropriate if you also did this work for me. By Tuesday.

OK, back to tweeting about sandwiches and pretending to be on vacation.

My daughter just had her last day of school for the year, and I can’t understand why she’s not terribly sad about it. I’m sad about it, and I don’t even GO to preschool. There’s something about school that will always make me feel a little melancholy I guess – a school year is such a discrete thing, a big chunk of life behind you that will never come again. I can already imagine the hazy memory 08-09 will become for her, just a couple of snapshots really: that time they made macaroni necklaces, that friend she had who moved to another school, the one kid who was always peeing his pants. Obviously this is my baggage not hers, and it has a lot to do with having a child who’s growing up in front of my eyes, but I also think I’m identifying with the end of the school year because I’m taking something of a Summer vacation myself.

NO TOURING. That is the rule for the next couple of months. I really do enjoy playing for all of you, much more than I ever thought I would. But the airplanes and hotels and suitcases are a real drag, and it’s the closest thing to actual “work” I ever get in this ridiculous career. And it chops up my personal and professional life; I’m always either on a trip, getting ready for one, or recovering from one. So I’m going to defrag a little, recharge, waste some time, play guitar for no reason at all, mess around with various bits of hardware and software that I’ve purchased but never used, see what happens.

Merlin Mann gave a great talk at MaxFunCon about creativity, specifically about that pesky “getting started” part of it. It’s the thing I was trying to defeat when I started Thing a Week, and while I had it on the ropes for a while, it was just a temporary victory. I still struggle with it, and I suspect I always will. I can use the traveling as an excuse, but if it wasn’t traveling it would be groceries, or Xbox or whatever (Marble Blast Ultra, seriously, I am getting my ass kicked by a bunch of 13-year-olds, but I dig it). I can always find distractions that seem like higher priorities than making stuff. So part of my goal for this Summer is to take as much pressure off as I can and pry apart some space for doing just that. I’m not promising to write you a bunch of songs exactly, in fact I kind of have to keep my goals a little fuzzier than that in order to not frighten the muse away. I don’t know exactly where I’m going or what I’m working towards, and I forgive myself in advance for that because that’s sort of the point. I’m just hoping to have some fun making music in the privacy of my own head for a while. Maybe you can hear it when I’m done (whatever it turns out to be).

In the meantime, I am JoCo4Realz on Xbox Live and I will see you in Sprawl emmer effers!

I am a long time fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, a television show in which a human and his robot friends watch movies and make fun of them (it maybe is not a surprise to you that I like this sort of thing). Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, formerly of said show, now do this thing called Rifftrax – sort of an alternate audio track for movies that you can sync up as you watch, MST3K roll-your-own style. Imagine my delight when they invited me and Paul and Storm to record one of these for the movie TRON. I’ll wait while you imagine. Did you imagine me jumping up and down and peeing my pants? Because that’s what happened.

Now you can purchase this item! I am serious! This banner proves it (when you click on it)!

At long last, here it is.

BEST. CONCERT. EVER.

A live DVD/CD super combo package, now available to you, the general public. It’s currently in pre-sales but discs will ship May 15th, and if you buy now you can download the mp3s immediately.

If you’ve been listening to me on the Twitter this morning then you’ll be tired of this, but here’s the thing. I made a dumb joke referencing an aphorism I have heard: “all animals can swim.” Then I started wondering if that was true. A lot of people replied saying that great apes can’t swim, in particular chimpanzees. That didn’t sound right to me, or at least it sounded like one of those things that everybody says that nobody really knows if it’s true or not (kind of like “all animals can swim”).

So I asked again on the Twitter: for reals? Great apes can’t swim? A lot of people responded “yes they can” or “no they can’t” which wasn’t helpful. And a lot of links came in, a lot of conflicting information. This site says they have too little animal fat and so they sink. This person says they can outswim an olympic swimmer (human, presumably) and tantalizingly links to a video called “seemychimpswim” that no longer exists. According to The Big Zoo they can only swim “if extremely excited” (?). And here’s a story about a swimming orangutan. From what I can tell, it’s kind of “some chimps can swim but mostly they hate it and are not good at it.”

Or worse, it’s still an open question, which is a terrible thought. What the hell scientists? What are we doing here? Can we please start throwing some monkeys into pools and taking notes? IT IS 2009, SERIOUSLY!

Also, giraffes.

Which is what this will be for many of you today – traffic on the First of May is always a little heavy for some reason, but my poor server is doing its best to keep up. I wish you all a happy Spring, even if you don’t know it.

This song is free even when it is not this day of the year, but it is especially free today (if you know what I mean):

First of May (<–Not At All Safe For Work)

Scott Kirsner is a writer who, inexplicably, interviewed me once. I was somewhere in the earlier parts of Thing a Week, and I was just seeing the hint of the glimmer of the possibility of some kind of semi-success. He was hoping to pitch me as a feature article to a certain important magazine about technology, but that feature never materialized, I think probably because Scott was ahead of the curve. He already knew what the world did not: that I was destined to become a big, fat, shining superstar.

So now he’s put me in his book, which is also very nice of him. I mention it not just because I’m in it, but because Scott is a very smart and well-spoken fellow who ran an excellent panel with me and some other folks at SXSWi, and this book looks kind of awesome. It’s about this new kwazy internet thing we’re all trying to figure out, where suddenly everyone has the tools to create and publish, and so reaching your audience is simultaneously very easy and very hard. He interviews a bunch of artists of various types about how they deal with this paradox, how they launched and built their creative enterprises. If you’re wondering how you might turn your creative thing into a money-pooping cow, it’s really helpful to read about how lots of other people did it. Like I always say: 1) find the good ideas and then 2) steal them.

It’s called Friends, Fans and Followers, and you can preview it here, and buy it here.

1. Millionaire Matchmaker – you were not imagining it, the bachelor named Alex sang “Soft Rocked By Me” on the Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker. They did get permission from me before doing this, and the last time I was in Vegas Alex even took me out to a delicious Thai lunch to thank me. It was my first lunch date with a millionaire. Hopefully not my last – AM I RIGHT?!

2. Ernie Wade – April Fools! You all know that by now, and most of you knew it pretty early on. I meant to juice up a little more doubt and controversy, but when it came down to it I couldn’t keep a straight face. Also there were enough people in on the joke tweeting and blogging about it that I enjoyed watching it all unfold. In case you missed it, the idea took shape in Vegas (erm, I guess there are a lot of things that do NOT stay in Vegas) when I was at the New Media Expo playing the Coverville 500 concert. At the table were me, Len, Patrick and Tom, and I hope nobody else that I’m forgetting because I’m an insensitive jerk. We thought it would be funny to manufacture a scandal in which it is discovered that all my songs are stolen. Because he is crazy, Tom actually followed through and created a site and recorded a couple of songs: Code Monkey and Warrior Robot Revenge. Say want you want about these kinds of April Fools Day pranks, but there are some really nice touches on the site, in the photos, the cassette labels, and especially in the songs. My favorite is the photo on this page captioned “Here is a picture I had of Ernie driving his truck…” And the songs have a perfect bizarro-world-JoCo quality to them – poor Ernie really loved Jan.

3. Where the hell is Jonathan Coulton? Last week we closed on the sale of my old home and the purchase of my new home, and on Monday we moved. I’ve been too preoccupied to blog or twitter – sorry if you’re waiting for me to get back to you, or even just let you know that I’m alive. I’m still in Brooklyn, not too far away from where I was, but kind of on the fringe of Stroller Town itself. The new place has some leaks and broken things, and of course my entire life is packed into lots of poorly labeled boxes. I can’t find anything, all is chaos. I had no internet until yesterday afternoon, which was painful. And my studio does not really exist at this point – it will only when I muster up the strength to find everything and plug it in again. The photo up top is my old studio room, now empty and sad.

Moving is weird. A lot happened in that old apartment – I entered as a childless writer of software, I leave as a twice bekidded musician, with Thing a Week and all the rest of it trailing out behind me. The new place has quite a bit to live up to. I’m hoping that soon it will actually feel more like home, and less like a showroom for a cardboard box company.

Sorry to have been so quiet. I will start making noise again soon.

To post anything about the NYC show. Isn’t that terrible? It was a great deal of fun, and if you missed it, you also missed this:

Yes, that is the Hungry March Band, and they are the nicest group of anarchist marching band hipster types you will ever meet.

And if you missed me at University of Arkansas last night, you missed a sound check (which the audience was lucky enough to see), and a set done WITHOUT A SET LIST. Very dangerous, but I think it worked out OK. Thank you Arkansonians.

In other news, some attorney friends of mine say it’s probably a good idea for me not to say anything about this.