Now, this is just low. Nice girl, goes out with the boys for a day of fishing and roaring around in the motorboat, has two or three beers, snuggles safely back into her boyfriend’s arms and lets the combined effect of beer, sunshine, motor noise, and boat vibration lull her to sleep. Bad move: Moral: Never [...]

This song is a song about Alice. No. Wait. I mean, this post is a post about Hitler’s dick. Not quite the same. But, the post does come with a soundtrack. Yours is the dubious obligation of constructing the soundtrack in your mind. Remember The Colonel Bogey March from Bridge [...]

Has anybody stopped to marvel, lately, at what a wonderful world it has become for folks with numerically minor fetishes? There’s the internet for finding and meeting (and fucking) kindred souls, there’s a growing “whatever floats your boat” sentiment among civilized people, and there’s a robust world economy for sex toys of every description. And [...]

This awesome vintage nude Cleopatra figure is from the astounding photostream of Flickr user silvernightingale, your go-to person for vintage harem girls, showgirls, belly dancers, divas, and so forth. Thanks to Violet Blue for the link.

Susie Bright has created an Amazon list of must-have sex stuff, and in explaining the list, she’s dashed off several valuable mini essays on vibrators (wall current rules, battery-operated sucks, The Rabbit isn’t all that), lube, and the history of the sex toy industry. The lube portion I particularly like, because she simplifies down [...]

Set up the drumroll please: “…or are you just happy to see me?” They’ve found a potential new erection drug in spider venom. From BBC News: Spider venom could boost sex life By Vladimir Hernandez BBC News Brazilian and US scientists are looking into using spider venom as a possible treatment for male impotence. Their investigation follows reports that men [...]

Sometimes, in the middle of a noisy room, you’ll hear something fun. I overheard this at Naked Loft Party: “Now that I’m getting married,” I was telling Porno Jim, “I need to have adult relationships. No more girlfriends for me — they’re my mistresses now. Doesn’t that sound so much more sophisticated?”

It’s possible she’s just cute and innocent: Yeah, right…

In which Mistress Matisse risks minor puncture wounds (”ohnoes!”) for the pleasures of flustering a lab tech: So I went into the lab area and sat down to get the draw. The tech was a good-looking young woman, maybe early twenties, and just slightly butch-of-center, who I strongly suspect was a lesbian. She gave me The [...]

[Update: The animated .gif was thrashing my server, please click the thumbnail or here to see it now.] I’m hearing Scotty in my head: “I’m sorry Captain, we just can’t contain them any longer!” From Titty Blog.

If you’ve seen Warm Water Under A Red Bridge, you’ll know the Japanese understand their shio. If you haven’t, you’ll be going “Shio? What’s shio?” Apparently, that was Momo’s question also. Fleshbot has the YouTube video. They also have a skilled cross-cultural operative to explain it all: Fleshbot operative KokuRyu … reports: “I came across an [...]

I gotta quote Bitchy Jones again. Unlike most of the folks who love to hate the splendidly cheesy literary phenomenon that is Gor, she gets why those books sold about a zillion copies and still go for megabucks on eBay, gets it well enough that’s she’s moved to give it a complete “vertical flip” [...]

Time for another vintage photo: Classic wallet porn, complete with folds. The smile and the non-commercial posing make me wonder this might not be a “my wife with no pants” picture.

For your viewing pleasure, the United States Bureau of Prisons presents its training video for strip searches. Including several phrases you never want to hear from a government employee: “Bend forward for me please, and spread your buttocks.” Link via Sensible Erection.

A long time ago, my sometimes co-blogger Aphrodite was experimenting with web tech and she created an innocent and innocuous heart shaped favicon for Eros Blog: It was never intended to be the final and perfect 16×16 pixel representation of ErosBlog’s deepest philosophies of love, lust, and sex, just a neat and harmless graphical flourish, good [...]

Permanent link to this ErosBlog post: http://www.erosblog.com/2007/05/06/phear-the-magic-comment-bunny/

I am jealous to learn that the pornified krewe at Fleshbot has outsourced its comment moderation to a magic comment bunny:

Every first-time comment is sucked through teh tubes to our underwater IP farm, where it is read by an adorable little bunny who lives inside our databases and eats rainbows for breakfast. If the bunny is pleased by your offering, your username, password, and comment are approved….

Here’s the thing, though: the bunny does not like silly, pointless, or generally uninteresting comments. In other words, you gotta bring something to the table. It’s hard to say exactly what it takes to get your comment approved—let’s just say we know a good comment when we see one—but it’s much easier to pinpoint the strategies that are virtually guaranteed to keep you on the wrong side of the velvet rope.

So we’ve broken them down for you here, so that you will stop wasting your bandwidth trying to concoct the 547th iteration of that old chestnut, “I’d hit it.” If you’re reading Fleshbot, it is assumed that you “love girls,” “love cock,” “love sexxxxx,” and/or “like to fuck,” so it isn’t really necessary for you take time out of you busy schedule to fill out a comment form and tell us that fact.

If you follow the link, you’ll see sample comments that have displeased the bunny. Those sample comments are real, I see similar every day so you don’t have to.

I need a bunny.

Permanent link to this ErosBlog post: http://www.erosblog.com/2007/05/05/pamela-anderson-can-take-a-freakin-number/

Your “duh!” weekend celebrity news:

Pamela Anderson: “Johansson should do Playboy”

Playboy veteran Pamela Anderson wants to see movie beauty Scarlett Johansson disrobe for the men’s magazine.

Anderson, who has posed for Playboy a record 12 times, believes the Lost In Translation star would be ideal for Hugh Hefner’s raunchy publication.

She says, “Scarlett Johansson would definitely be my number one choice. But I doubt she would agree to do it.

Err, any dissenters?

Permanent link to this ErosBlog post: http://www.erosblog.com/2007/05/03/your-daily-tang/

People keep sending me videos (mostly YouTube) and links to podcasts, videoblogs, all that stuff. And I almost never post them. Why not?

Because they are so inexorably linear. I love the internet because the data flows at my speed. I can skimread, jump around, consume the bits I like and move on (next!) when I’ve got boring bits in my face. For that, I need text. Audio and video, compelling as they are, require me to slow down, focus on one thing on one of my three computer screens, and wait for the information to flow at whatever glacial pace the creator chose. That’s fine for porn clips, but for pretty much anything else, I’ve already got 180 channels of narrowcast video programming on a big screen eight feet away that I never watch.

Some people say that my distaste for audio and video blogging makes me a crusty old fart who just doesn’t “get” the cool new thing. Me, I say I’m a hypermodern info consumer, moving too fast for linear data modes of the old twentieth century. I’ve been known to argue that audio and video blogging are reactionary trends, vain attempts to rescue the doomed and tired viewer/listener audience model. Whatever, maybe I am just an old fart. Doesn’t matter. Vlogs and podcasts are dead to me, I just don’t have the patience to sit through ‘em.

However, having ranted my rant, I’ll unbend just long enough for a friendly nod at Daily Tang, a “porn news” vlog with the good taste to say nice things about ErosBlog.

Flattery? It totally works with me.

Permanent link to this ErosBlog post: http://www.erosblog.com/2007/05/02/transsexual-porn-with-san-francisco-values/

I’ve commented before on the strange labeling and odd packaging of transsexuals in the porn industry. And I’ve gotten yelled at for my own failures of political correctness in this area. I’ve even shaken my head at the odd ways guys use transsexual porn in internet games of oneupsmanship. But for all of that, I don’t claim to understand the “tranny porn” genre. And my bafflement is surely compounded by the fact that most of what I’ve seen has been poorly produced and badly marketed by pornographers who don’t seem to have been very engaged with the content.

Well, that last problem, at least, seems to have become ancient history, now that Kink.com has announced its new site: TS Seduction — Where Straight Men Take TS Cock For The First Time. It ought to be very interesting to see their special brand of San Francisco values applied to a historically neglected, traditionally crappy porn genre.

From the press release:

Leader in fetish entertainment leader, Kink.com announced the launch of their 11th all exclusive video and photo content site, TSSeduction.com, featuring hot transsexual women seducing straight men in the first site of its kind. With a new weekly video shoot update, the site boasts the hottest TS girls in action, dominating, seducing and enticing men into first time TS adventures.

Webmaster of TSS, Isis Love has been in the adult entertainment industry for over 7 years. She has worked on both sides of the camera and has been a model and guest director for Kink.com’s woman dominating men site, MenInPain.com for over 3 years.

“With one foot already in the door, I took this opportunity to join the team at Kink.com. After talking to the crew, I came in and directed some test shoots for the developing site,” said Isis Love. “I am totally excited.”

One thing’s for sure, when they advertise (to use their terms) hot transsexual women, they aren’t kidding about the hot part:

Permanent link to this ErosBlog post: http://www.erosblog.com/2007/05/02/the-pussy-ultimatum/

This is why it’s a bad idea to deliver stupid ultimatums:

Thanks to Kaya for finding the pic.