Fellow curmudgeons tired of people parroting catchphrases from movies and TV shows, unite! Let us band together and crush those without the mental capacity to come up with something funny on their own.
I’ve been guilty of this too, but I don’t lean on them like some other people do. Seriously, what makes people think that stringing together one-liner after one-liner counts as being funny? Being truly funny is about being original and bringing something new to the table. Unless you’re somebody like Carlos Mencia — but that dude’s not funny, so that’s sort of beside the point, isn’t it?
Even tho this tee from the venerable R. Stevens is a bit verbose, it’s managed to wrap up every last bit of disdain that I have for the folks who depend on other people’s work to make themselves seem interesting. If some of you actually tried being yourself for a change, you might find that it even manages to work better for you.
So here’s to the fall of the unoriginal! May they burn in whatever representation of Hell they believe in — like Wyoming…
$18.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 3XL, F: S - 2XL
In my all-time top ten favorite films of all time, “Repo Man” is firmly seated at the top of the vein of cult films that run thru the entire list. As far as I’m concerned, it’s got one of the best plots in movie history. Who’d want to sit thru a snore fest like “Citizen Kane” when you could watch a film about an 80’s punk turned repo man that gets tasked with finding a `64 Malibu containing alien corpses in the trunk?
I don’t know about you, but I know what I would rather watch.
Oh, yeah… On top of that fucking stellar plot description, add one of the best punk soundtracks on the face of planet earth and you’ve seriously got a 30 megaton bomb of awesome on your hands. If you’ve never seen it, it’s seriously worth an add to your Netflix queue or a trip to Blockbuster. You’ll thank me later, honest.
It shouldn’t be surprising that this shirt from Repo Man comes from the folks over at Found Item Clothing. A tribute to the old Ralph’s generic brand labels — and Oly’s tee in “Repo Man” — this shirt shows that you’re not beholden to PBR or High Life with their fancy cans. No sir, you prefer the simple things in life. And as far as we’re concerned, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
$13.95 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 2XL
Oh sweet irony. In my last post, I talked about being part of the bearded masses — and the very next night I lost my beard in a freak accident at the barbershop. Needless to say, I’m totally a sad panda over the whole ordeal and spent the weekend mourning and starting to grow it back out.
Still, life goes on and y’all require fresh t-shirts — so fresh t-shirts you shall receive… And sweet baby Jeebus, do I have a totally badass one for you today. Design By Humans‘ current shirt of the week uses negative space and silhouettes of an overwhelming flock of blackbirds to its advantage. It’s exceedingly Hitchcockian and a little bit over the top — but that’s why I love it…
I’m not 100% sure how they’re doing the white printing on this black tee — it’s either bleaching or some sort of special dye process — but I know that it’s a really solid effect that steps up the game for other t-shirt design competitions. What’s more, it’s sort of blowing my mind by bringing a whole new level of awesome to the table. I’ve been out of the game a while, so perhaps this sort of tee is old hat to some of y’all — but here’s to hoping that a few of you manage to feel the same way that I do.
$19.00 | Credit | URL | M: S - 2XL F: S - XL
As one of the bearded masses, I’m totally wild over Turn Nocturnal’s “Beware of Beard”. I mean, it’s the perfect warning for folks looking for trouble — because much like the Wu Tang Clan, I ain’t nothin’ to fuck with…
I’m sort of conflicted over this shirt tho. Why? Well, because it suffers from one of the cardinal sins of shirts as far as I’m concerned — back printing. Now I understand that up and coming brands and designers want to get their name out there. I don’t fault y’all for that at all. But taking away from a totally awesome design by slapping a logo or some other unrelated bullshit on the back turns a sale into a no-go for me.
But here I am running the shirt anyway. It’s seriously too damn sweet to just straight up stonewall. As far as I’m concerned, the bad-assed front makes up for the meh on the back. So all y’all hipster kids who dig it but have the same reservations can just toss a blazer over it — or whatever it is you do now to look “dressy — but not too dressy”.
God, I’m so behind on the times…
$15.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - XL
A big howdy to everyone visiting from shirt.woot.com! There seem to be a lot of you coming down the pipe, so feel free to check out a few random articles or subscribe to our feed. You got here right after I finished taking a little break, and things are about to start heating up something fierce. If you like what you see, go ahead and settle in for a while. You won’t be sorry.
There’s no way I’m going to call this a comeback. It’s more like I’ve heard the call and I’ve realized that it’s time to fuck shit up. There’s been a lot of really valid demand the past month or so for me to dust this site off and I’ve kept dragging my feet when it comes to actually doing that.
So what the exactly have I been up to? Well, work has been keeping me plenty busy as it is. Add to that the facts that I’ve been busy finding and moving into a bachelor pad in beautiful North Hollywood as well as helping to build a really awesome community of folks in the Los Angeles area and you’ll see that I’ve sort of had my plate full.
But that’s no excuse. When I started Preshrunk, the biggest thing that I loved about it was that the pace of one or two t-shirts a day, Monday thru Friday was something I could take care of in about 30 to 45 minutes. That little bit of work netted me a lot of praise and got me linked from sites like BoingBoing. People loving what you do because you do what you love is a powerful feeling — and a great motivator. It and all of the awesome free shirts I managed to pull down kept me going for the first year of this site. But then something changed and that motivation dried up. Other t-shirt blogs started popping up left and right and I started getting worried about being “first” with a new design. The posts got more sporadic and I started getting all emo by adding “*shrug*” to pretty much every entry. It wasn’t 100% bad — but it wasn’t really that great either.
Inevitably, there were stretches where posts wouldn’t happen for months at a time. And I’d almost always come off a break by making some sort of reference to how busy I’d been — but that was going to change, dammit. I would make time for Preshrunk again and bring it back to its former luster.
The fact of the matter is, my apathy was killing me. My ambition always ended up being handicapped by my laziness — and that’s never any good.
I turned 30 a couple weeks back and the time leading up to it really ended up putting a few things into perspective. Which is where today’s shirt comes into play. For too long, I’ve let my fear of failure get in the way of doing some really awesome shit. That’s honestly fucked me up something fierce in a few parts of my life. So enough is enough. Just because there are around 65 t-shirt blogs doesn’t mean that Preshrunk can’t go back to its previous luster as the place to come for t-shirt related awesomeness. I’m not going to let that little nagging voice in my head tell me any differently either.
I know I’ve said it before but we’ve got some really big things planned. 2008 is totally going to be Preshrunk’s year. Just you watch…
$25.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - XL
Seriously, Airside’s Battle Royale tees are one of the shirts that inspired me to start this blog. Three years ago to the day, in fact. So on the eve of my nth comeback — and our 3rd birthday — it’s apt for me to have been forwarded news of this beauty being reprinted.
If t-shirts could be sexy beasts, this would be amongst the sexiest of them all. I know I’m gushing, but I seriously love this shirt so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.
Is that taking it too far? Probably. But that’s just how I feel, dammit.
£24.99 | Credit | URL | M: S - XL, F: S - L
Now I’m not trying to start shit or anything, but I wonder how David over at Seibei feels about Monster Hoodies. I’m willing to bet that great minds think alike — and there’s always room for more awesome hoodies as far as I’m concerned — but these do remind me an awful lot of the Ice Wizard design…
P.S. I did some digging around and also managed to find a big fat Flickr photoset of the prototypes. Go ahead and examine all the evidence and weigh in with what y’all think about this in the comments.
Photo by chromogenic.
I could try to act more excited about this, but it’s sort of old hat by now. I mean, Karl ran it about a month ago and I’ve had mine for nine days now. That’s not to say that the thrill has worn off tho. In fact, I’ve been all sorts of hype about this shirt since I found about about the limited run Khoi did ages ago.
And while it’s not in baby blue anymore — which I actually wear quite well — I’m pretty thrilled that it’s on AA Asphalt and available in sizes up to men’s 2XL. How thrilled? Let’s just say that I’m thrilled enough to post about it weeks after the gang at Wire and Twine started printing it. And that says, uhm… Actually, it doesn’t say very much, does it?
What about the fact that I actually bought it? Considering most of the 300+ tees that I own have been freebies, I’m pretty sure that speaks volumes for how much I dig it. Then again, it might just be a sign of how little sway I have in the t-shirt world since I’ve been going thru such spastic posting cycles this past year… *shrug* Who’s to say?
P.S. Wire and Twine’s Exploded Wiimote Hoodie is my hot hot sex. If cursing about fonts isn’t your thing — and you’re kind of cold — do check it out.
$25.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 2XL, F: S - XL
If there are two things I’m not out of my element on, it’s zombies and The Big Lebowski. Seriously, I’ve studied both to the point of obsession. Sure, they’re a bit disparate as far as topics to be obsessive over go, but I still think that they’re worthy of copious amounts of my free time — so I’m glad to see that both of my very favorite topics have collided on Go Ape’s latest tee.
Now say what you will about zombieism, but at least it’s an ethos. Well, okay — it’s not so much an ethos as it is an unrelenting, ravenous craving for brains. Still, there’s a lot of dedication involved in being a zombie — and I really admire that. I only wish that I could have that sort of singular focus on something that I’ve set my mind on. You know, like posting regularly…
$18.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 2XL, F: S - L
Most of you are probably already aware of this, but the dudes behind Virb have created a new t-shirt shop, Cottyn. Since this has been going on for weeks, it’s kind of hard to say that it’s news now, isn’t it? Still, they’ve managed to come on strong with five great tees — I already own I’m A Noob and rock it with great pride — and a pretty decent store to boot. So they’re worth a mention at the very least.
And while I care to think of myself as an amateur musicologist, I ran a music related tee for my last post. Besides, I really adore coffee. Between the vanilla latte with five shots from Coffee Bean at home and pretty much anything from Philz when I’m up in the Yay Area, I seriously have a thing for that dark, wonderfully bitter brew.
Okay, maybe I don’t have as much of a thing for coffee as my homey Sean does, but I still really enjoy it enough to totally agree with what this shirt is saying. Coffee is tall, dark and fantastic in the morning? Fuckin’ a, man. If I didn’t have to get some sleep, I’d seriously be drinking some right this second…
$20.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 2XL
For someone who never even got the chance to see them live during their extremely brief tenure — mostly because Ian Curtis died when I was two — I really love Joy Division quite a bit. So much so that my all-time favorite song is the inspiration for the tee I’m going to be talking about today.
Now when I say “all-time favorite”, I seriously mean it. I obsessively listen to this song — or a semi-reasonable facsimile — at least once a day. I’ve also considered getting the phrase tattooed somewhere on my person, something I don’t think about doing unless it means the world to me. You could say I’m a bit hardcore, I guess…
Anyhow, the concept is actually a pretty basic but very cool one. All the shirts have on them is nothing more than the running time and title of the song — and that’s it. That might not fly for some of you, but I happen to really like the idea and execution here.
Now I could try to be impartial and talk about one of the other shirts Blanka offers — they even have really clever Helvetica ones — but most of you are already keen to the fact that I like to indulge my obsessions more than anything else. So despite the fact that they have similar shirts for Pink Floyd, Kraftwerk, The Smiths, Public Enemy, New Order and AC/DC, I’ve gotta go with what I love. Y’all understand that, right?
£29,00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - XL
Holy. Fucking. Shit. As somebody who grew up with (not to mention downright idolized) the original trilogy — AKA “the one true trilogy” — I am completely in love with Chop Shop’s exceptional pinstriped take on Darth Vader.
After feasting your eyes upon it, can you seriously blame me? If Lucasfilm knew what was good for them, they’d spare Chop Shop the inevitable C&D headed their way and start carrying these tees in their shop — which is full of WWE grade drek as far as I’m concerned. I know that they won’t tho — and that’s a damn shame.
So get them while the getting is good, kids…
$25.00 | Credit | URL | M: S - 2XL
When a person that orders witty, nerdy, and humorous t-shirts on the internet, enough to make them the “funny t-shirt guy” in their hometown, needs to travel to a function that will include other people that order witty, nerdy, and humorous t-shirts on the internet and is having trouble packing. See also: conundrum, clothing.
This has happened to me more times than I care to imagine. I don’t even know how many times I’ve spent the night before I leave for a conference leafing thru my closet trying to pick the most choice tees that hopefully nobody else would rock. I even go so far as to carry a spare shirt in my laptop bag in case somebody shows up wearing the same shirt. Too much? Maybe. I’m just weird like that tho…
Damn. I’m feeling crazy sluggish today. I could say that I don’t know why I’m so zapped, but I actually do know what’s going on — I feel like I’m coming down with something. I’ve had to deal with a mild cough and achy body for the past 24 hours or so. And quite honestly, that’s pretty damn annoying.
What does me possibly getting sick have to do with the Alphabet tee from Angry? Not a damn thing. Seriously, I’m just going to phone today’s post in. Sorry kids. I’d just take the night off, but I’ve been on such a roll with posting as of late.
It is worth mentioning that the shirt is set in Helvetica tho — or a very reasonable facsimile thereof. And as you all know, any tee that does that is pretty much a win in my book. Even if it is €30.00…
€30.00 | Credit | URL | M: S - XL
Ever since Seven Grand opened up a few months back, this shirt isn’t as true as it used to be for me. It would probably be a little more apt for it to say “I Whiskey LA”, but I’m sure that might not go over as universally. Don’t get me wrong tho, I still drink my fair share of beer. It’s just not as much as I used to back in the day.
You see, I used to have thing for passing out while eating diner food after having a few too many pitchers (and Irish Car Bombs) at The Goat. Although it really should be said that I cut that shit out sometime around my 24th birthday. Mostly because I wanted to remember the patty melt and fries at the end of the night instead of finding out that my friends ate it while I slept in the booth weeks after the fact. Dicks.
So if beering LA is your pastime, you might want to give this tee a go. Oh, by the way, if you’re a New Yorker — Hi Williamsburg! — there’s apparently an alternate style available for y’all in the shop as well. I’m sure a few of you might find that to be handy.
$22.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - L
- I’m sure you’ve probably heard by now, but Threadless is having another one of their $10 sales. From now until September 3rd, you can pick up any tee in the store for a crisp, clean Hamilton.
- Not to be outdone, Ten Bills is selling a decent chunk of their current stock for $5. Since their stuff is $10 all the time, you might want to take any leftover money you might have from the Threadless sale to burn there.
For those of you not hip to comic book nerddom, this is a mash up of the classic Sex Pistols’ “God Save The Queen” single artwork — which has adorned countless t-shirts — and Stan Lee, a god amongst men. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a pretty apt tribute to one of the people who helped shaped my adolescent years. Now mind you, I wasn’t old enough to grow up during Stan’s golden era — but I did read all of the Spider-Man and X-Men titles pretty religiously when I was in my early teens.
Right now it looks like the shirts are only available in their store, but hopefully they’ll get them for sale online shortly. If they do, I’ll be sure to link it up here if nothing else. Until then tho, you’re going to have to make the trek to LA in order to score one. Sorry kids!
In the 3 plus years that I’ve been doing this, I don’t know why I’ve slept on Owl Movement as much as I have. Hell, looking over the archives shows that they’ve only been written up once — and that was by Josh from Go Ape.
That’s a damn shame too, because they’ve got some outstanding shirts to offer. Take this Simon Noynay designed one for example. The Moops are back — and this time they’re fighting for their lives. This tee actually looks like it very well could be a sort of prequel to this print on deviantART, but I could be wrong there…
I guess I’m going to have to fess up and admit that I have a very tiny man crush on Simon. But come on, the dude does some awesome fucking work. I mean, if I ever ponied up the cash to do a run of Preshrunk tees, he’d be towards the top of the list of artists I’d consider commissioning to whip something up. Well, you know, so long as my publicly admitted man crush doesn’t make him too uncomfortable to consider doing it…
$20.00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - 2XL, F: S - XL
This is sort of a unique case — as I’m mostly sure that I’ve never linked to someone selling a shirt on Flickr — but I really dig the whole anti thing that designer UK James Greenfield has got going on here. In fact, if you look at all of the tees he’s offering as a part of his Counterfeit Outfit line, most of them are pretty fucking solid.
They actually sort of remind me of something that Experimental Jetset would do. Well, you know, the shirts aren’t set in Helvetica or anything — but why imitate when you can do your own thing, right?
Mostly, I’m hoping that giving James a little pimp will encourage him to at least pony up and go get a Big Cartel storefront or something similar. If he decided to stay in the t-shirt business, that is. I’m honestly hoping that he does tho, because I’d like to see what else he manages to come up with.
£20,00 | PayPal | URL | M: S - L