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Date: Tuesday, 27 Oct 2009 17:01
There's gonna be a new car company in Delaware? Next to the screen door factory? Seriously, this is where we'da rather seen the car bailout money go -- to new start ups with new ideas.

Referenced articles

emptywheel: Biden To Announce Fisker Auto Plant In Wilmington Delaware

Author: "editorial staff"
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A Loan   New window
Date: Friday, 16 Oct 2009 15:00
OK, so Koenigsegg Group AB want to buy the Saab division from GM. But they need a loan to do it. It looks like about $600,000,000 is needed. So, at the current rate of 19 Saabs sold per day at a rate of (this is where we make up stuff) $38,500 per Saab, the loan could be paid back in:

F O U R H U N D R E D B I L L I O N Y E A R S

Sounds like Wall Street should be behind this one! Actually, it would take two years to generate $600 million in sales… but that's not including the cost of the car itself. So, yeah, 400,000,000,000 years to pay this loan back.

There is no reason Koenigsegg Group AB should buy Saab. The division should go away.

Referenced articles
Automotive News: Saab loan-guarantee decision months away

Swedish

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Saab"
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Date: Friday, 16 Oct 2009 03:24
Just one GM was returned during the 60-day guarantee? Meanwhile
He [GM Vice Chairman Bob Lutz] says consideration for GM vehicles is up 15 percent and says its market share in September, 20.5 percent, is the same as last year.
Consideration, eh? We wonder how sales are doing this Oct…

But back to our first point… And it was an exchange, not a real return? Man, that sounds fishy. Also sounds like a good story that is just told to get picked up and retold… Damn you, GM!

Referenced articles
autoweek.com: A Chevrolet Corvette the only ‘authenticated' return under GM's 60-day guarantee, Lutz says

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Bob Lutz, Car News, Chevrolet, GM"
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Recall!   New window
Date: Tuesday, 13 Oct 2009 22:18
No, not good 'ol GD, just some Fords. One million? No, keep going. Two? Nope. Three. Think mo. Mo mo mo. Four?! Oh, stop, we'll answer for you.

4,500,000

All the way back to when Clinton was in office! Sweet mercy that's a lot of Fords. There's a good chance the tech that'll repair your car was 8 years old at the time some of these beasts were made.

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: Ford recall hits 4.5 million vehicles

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Car News, Ford, Recalls, Safety"
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Date: Friday, 09 Oct 2009 03:50
Pontiac_solstice There is no way that DeLorean Motor Company is considering building a car based on the Pontiac Solstice.

That car helped kill Pontiac and Saturn. No, it did not single car-ily kill both companies, but it was a great example of why both companies failed.

Why DeLorean would want any part of this… Feels like a lot of car companies are just grasping at anything.

Referenced articles
Autoblog: Rumormill: DeLorean Motor Company considering rescuing Pontiac Solstice?

Who knew we needed a DeLorean category?

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Car News, Pontiac"
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Date: Tuesday, 06 Oct 2009 03:35
Dodge truckNot that we care all that much for Trucks* but what the hell is Chrysler thinking? A brand just around the RAM trucks? It's not like these things have been selling like hotcakes... so WTF?

Is Chrysler going to spin off the Challenger, too? Oh, look, the Challenger brand is up 100% (when they sell their second car).

Seriously, we almost started the WTF category when Penske was going to buy Saturn but we scrapped it when Penske scrapped their plans. We decided we'll move ahead with the WTF category if Konenenishooterglavenberg makes the Saab purchase official, but now we're wondering if we should do it now.

WTF!

Referenced articles
PickupTrucks.com: Dodge Trucks To Be Separated From Cars Under Ram Brand

*We're just kidding, trucks. We hear Alison likes her some trucks. Oh, that picture is from Dodge. Copyright Dodge.

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Alison, Car News, Chrysler, Dodge"
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Date: Monday, 05 Oct 2009 01:09
Sorry for our rants about Saab recently (No Way), but what is up with Saab? How can this niche brand still be around?

Specifics? Sure, in August and September Saab sold 19 cars a day. Two months in a row! July? 22. Come on, Saab is totally, totally over. And there is no way any sane company is going to buy it. Just for comparison's sake, in the time that Saab sold 960-some cars, Toyota sold 300-THOUSAND (cash for clunkers helped this, sure, but come on! Saab sold fewer during the cash for clunkers shenanigans).

Anyway, Saab dead. Let's move on.

Referenced articles
Autoblog: By the Numbers - August 2009: Cash for Clunkers Edition
Autoblog: By The Numbers - September 2009: Post C4C, We're All Alright Edition

During the same two months in which Saab sold 960-ish Smart sold over 2,200! And how many Smart Cars have you really seen?

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Car Sales, Saab"
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Date: Thursday, 01 Oct 2009 00:57
Actually, we didn't. But we knew this was a no go. There were no cars to sell. And it's not like people were lining up to buy any Saturns anyway.

So what happens now? Saturn just closes and "the dream" dies. GM never gave Saturn a solid shot. Oh, they started to but never followed through properly. The cars never really improved and the competition became better and better.

We're betting the same thing happens with Saab. GM took a niche, but well-loved, brand and made it so very mediocre (No hatch? It's not a frickin' Saab if there's no hatch, duh!).

Referenced articles
The Detroit News: Penske calls off Saturn deal with GM
The New York Times: G.M. to Close Saturn After Penske Pulls Out of Deal

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Car News, GM, Saturn"
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Date: Sunday, 27 Sep 2009 19:20
Offset crash (then vs now): Man, give us new over old any day!
Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Safety"
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Date: Monday, 07 Sep 2009 14:22

How did Honda fall so far so fast? With the release of the photos of the Crosstour, one has to wonder who quit in the last few years since the original Acura TL was released.

Seriously, how many ugly vehicles does Honda (we're including Acura) make now?

  • Accord
  • Crosstour
  • Pilot
  • Insight
  • Element (which we sorta like, but it's not a pretty thing to look at)
  • Acura TL
  • Acura RL
  • Acura TSX

They don't make too many more vehicles that those... All we know is that it's time to bring back the NSX. Yeah, the one from 1991. That was damn near perfect.

Referenced articles

autoblog: Officially Official: This is your 2010 Honda Accord Crosstour

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Acura, Honda"
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No Way   New window
Date: Tuesday, 01 Sep 2009 23:57
There is no way that Koenigsegg is buying Saab. Really? No, there is no way. For Alison's sake, they sold 19 each day during August. That's during the cash for clunkers sale no less.

Saab is dead. GM killed it. Long live Saab!

Referenced articles
Autoblog: By the Numbers

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Alison, Car Sales, GM, Saab"
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Date: Wednesday, 26 Aug 2009 12:55
Idea maybe for a new blog, hmm? Yes? OK, enough of the Yoda talk. Can you imagine if more people did this rather than driving? 42 bikes in one car spot.

Referenced articles

gizmodo: How Many Folding Bikes Does It Take To Fill a Parking Space?

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Alternative Fuels"
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Date: Saturday, 22 Aug 2009 15:04
The new Ford's here! The new Ford's here! And is he more qualified than ever or what?
Anybody who can keep junior high school kids not only in their seats but focused on a lesson plan can deal with any supplier issue, boardroom dispute or labor-contract negotiations he's ever likely to encounter.
Yeah, that's for su... What? This has been the secret all along? Not years in the industry but a couple of years teaching readin', writin' and 'rithmetic? Jesus.

Look out Mulally, Krabappel is comin' fer ya!

Referenced articles
autoweek.com: Henry III, Act I: Henry Ford's great-great grandson will soon enter the stage

Yes, technically Krabappel is Edna Krabappel. A female teacher. But we couldn't think of a dude teacher and, hell, Krabappel is a fun name! W00t!

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Alan Mulally, Car News, Ford"
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Date: Tuesday, 18 Aug 2009 10:36

Who in their right mind would buy a car company that sold 22 cars a day in July? But you say, "So what if they don't sell a lot of 'em. Profit it profit, dear Cars! Cars! Cars! writer." First of all, that's "writer." Second, doeth:

Trollhaettan, Sweden-based Saab has been unprofitable for most of GM’s 20 years of ownership and sold fewer than 100,000 cars last year.
Oh, dear. We fear this won't turn out so good. Also, expect higher prices for a car that few seem to want. At least it'll really be Swedish now.

Referenced articles
Bloomberg News: Koenigsegg Reaches Agreement to Buy GM’s Saab by End of Year

Author: "editorial staff"
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Parking   New window
Date: Monday, 17 Aug 2009 16:53

This is how to park!

Author: "editorial staff"
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Gah   New window
Date: Wednesday, 22 Jul 2009 20:20

This stuff scares the Alison out of us! Why not have OnStar just reprogram the nav to take the "bad" guys to the cops? Oh, why not have OnStar just reprogram the nav to take the Alison directly to us! W00t!1 Now that'd be some sweet OnStarActionTime.

Referenced articles
Engadget: OnStar debuts Remote Ignition Block to shut down stolen vehicles

Author: "editorial staff"
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Diet   New window
Date: Friday, 10 Jul 2009 13:40

(Bumping into GM) Cars! Cars! Cars!: Hey, GM!
GM: Cars! Cars! Cars!
C!C!C!: Wow, you look fantastic. Did you lose weight?
GM: Billions worth!
C!C!C!: Nice!
GM: What's up with you? No updates?
C!C!C!: We forgot how to log in.
GM: Seriously?
C!C!C!: Let's move to another topic.
GM: OK, I'm thin and hot.
C!C!C!: True dat. (leans in) Is that a collar?
GM: What? No.
C!C!C!: What's it say? "If found, return to Prez." Wow, that's weird.
GM: It's a fashion thing. The big O got it for us.
C!C!C!: ... OK.
GM: So, you gonna start covering this again?
C!C!C! Yeah, maybe so.
GM: OK, gotta git.
C!C!C!: OK, good lucking finding your missing piece.

(moves on)
C!C!C!: Ford!
Ford: This is bullshit!

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: 'New' GM is born

Author: "editorial staff"
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Date: Tuesday, 09 Jun 2009 14:16

WiFi in the minivan? A "VW" minivan? Will Brooke be there to make sure our IP addresses are correct? You know, nothing comes between us and Brooke.*

Referenced articles
Electronista: VW Routan gets in-car Wi-Fi

*Well, nothing that isn't sticky.

Author: "editorial staff"
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Date: Monday, 01 Jun 2009 13:59

Scene: Walking along some street in Detroit

Cars! Cars! Cars!: GM!
GM: Cars! Cars! Cars!
CCC: Long time no see, how you doing?
GM: Doing OK. Long time no post, what up?
CCC: Eh. All's been eerily quiet on the auto front. Like nothing's going on.
GM: Uh... yeah.
CCC: What you been up to?
GM: Uh, nothing.

It's worth pointing this out: General Motors Death Watch 1: GM Must Die. From early(ish) April '05.

Author: "editorial staff"
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Date: Wednesday, 06 May 2009 11:27

Scene: Taxpayers run into Chrysler after a long absence (no emails, txts, phone calls)

Taxpayers: Hey! C! Where you been?
Chrysler: Oh, hey. (looks around)
T: So, how you doing? I know things were looking tough.
C: Right. Well, we met someone.
T: Great! That's so... great!
C: Yeah. He's Italian.
T: Oh, wow! I'm so happy for you.
C: Thanks!
T: So... About that money we loaned you.
C: Yeah... about that...

Referenced articles
CNNMoney: Chrysler won't repay bailout money

Author: "editorial staff" Tags: "Chrysler"
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