FeedShowMusicWarship

Date: Wed, 22 May 2013 05:12:21 +0200

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Ronny Turiaf. One of the greats.

For the good of basketball, the Lakers need to beat the Spurs.

Yes, the spastic hyper-physicality of Manu Ginobili entertains, and Mr. Longoria sure can break ankles, and you’re forced to respect the semi-automatic clutchness of The Big Fundamental… but the Spurs have to go. No more debates about sly ankle pokes and hip-shot elbows from Bruce Bowen, no more opportunities for Big Shot Rob to lay big shots on smaller men, no more chances for your mates to drunkenly sing ‘I love it when you call me Big Poppa!’ at the television.

We need Kobe Bryant in the finals. A vicious competitor at the top of his game, cursed with an inability to censor his frustration, and fully capable of scoring a half-century when a game demands it (and frustratingly, sometimes when a game doesn’t).

We need the long arms of Lamar Odom punching into the lane for a silky soft two-step lay-up. We need Pau Gasol screaming and intense, fully focused on a) dominating the boards b) looking for the open man when the Spurs double down in the post and c) discovering fire.

And, most of all, we need Ronny Turiaf covered in towels, screaming French obscenities after every dunk, pushing his teammates over.

Good luck to the Lakers today. In San Antonio, they’ll need it.

MP3: Tupac - “California Love” (from All Eyez On Me, 1996).

MP3: The Game - “California Vacation Feat. Xzibit & Snoop” (from Doctor’s Advocate, 2006).

MP3: Red Hot Chili Peppers - “Hollywood” (from Freaky Styley, 1985). The Peppers have to be here, considering they’re such Laker freaks.

MP3: Warren Zevon - “Join Me In L.A.” (from Warren Zevon, 1976).

PS If Phil Jackson needs something funny to fire the boys up, perhaps a copy of T.P. will do the trick. Just hope Big Poppa doesn’t bring his copy of the K.O.B.E. EP.

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